Not Your Average Teen

18

2012-01-04T18:25:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I will be 18. Truthfully, it doesn’t seem real yet! But, as I sit here in my last night of being a minor, I’ve been reflecting on what that number really means.

You see, I have been told in the past few weeks by several people that I’m turning the “magic” 18. The first time someone told me that, I didn’t get it (I’m usually a little slow in getting jokes…). Finally, I figured out that everyone calls it “magic” because you are finally an adult.

Well, I have news for you. “Adult” does not always equal “mature”.

No, really!

Just because I will legally be an adult and I can vote does not mean that overnight I will be responsible and “all grown up”. Overnight, I am not going to hit a phase where I never have to listen to my parents again.

Even if tomorrow I wake up and think about how I’m legally an adult, not much is going to change. I will still be living at home, I will still have a job, I will still play with my siblings. Though the world tells me that, at 18 I can be responsible for my own choices, I have been raised with thought that I have ALWAYS been accountable for my actions. Yes, I may be ready to take on some extra responsibility, but I can’t become prideful and begin thinking that I know everything.

Pride is something I have always struggled with, mostly because I absolutely hate to be wrong. I have often disagreed in a not-so-nice way with my parents and they more often than not, they are right and I am wrong. However, I want to purpose this year to accept the wise counsel of my parents, not turn away from it. So many people that I know reject their parents as soon as they are old enough to leave home. But, I have always found sound advice from my parents, and I don’t want to turn away from them now. When I start college, I know I will need them, as I can become very overwhelmed and stressed. So, while I live at home, I will remember that this is NOT my house. I must be respectful and obedient to my parents all of my days, but especially while I live under their roof. I’m very excited to be growing up (well, I am most of the time, anyway) and I always want to value their generosity and take nothing for granted.

One day, when I marry and move out, I want to remember my time of living at home and learn from the experiences that I had there. My family is wonderful, and I want to pattern my own after them some day. So, Mom and Dad, 18 is just a birthday. It’s a milestone, yes, but I want to always be faithful and kind to you, Noah, Lexi, and Jesus.

Just because tomorrow is a special day, doesn’t mean anything will change. I will always love you and do my best to respect you. I will always value your opinion (even if it takes me a while to come around) and I will always try to submit to your wisdom.

Tomorrow is my birthday, but not much will change. I will still love my Lord, and devote myself to His will. What a wonderful year of life this has been… Although it has been filled with trials, I have learned more than I could ever have imagined. I thank the Lord for his faithfulness and everlasting love.

18 is just a number, and yet it is the beginning of the rest of my life.

“Lord, your discipline is good, for it leads to life and health. You restore my health and allow me to live!” Isaiah 38:16

“ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay.” 1 Peter 1:3-4

Home

2011-11-30T15:33:00.000-08:00

Home.

Home is where your family always cares and always loves.

Home is where your dog will run to the door to greet you even though you have only been gone for a few minutes.

Home is where you can find rest and comfort in your family and your friends.

Home is where your church will take care of you in a time of need.

Home is where people care enough to say, “How are you today?”

Home is where your friends write you spontaneously just to tell you they care.

Home is where you make new friends and keep the old.

Home is encouraging and comforting.

Home is where you belong.

Home is where your mother will hold you after a hard day.

Home is where your brother will tell you that you are beautiful, even if you only have on jeans and a sweatshirt.

Home is where friends ask you to go ice skating, even though you don’t really belong with their group.

Home is where your sister holds you while you cry over the trials of life.

Home is where your father congratulates you on a scholarship to the college of your choice.

Home is where you can dance at any time in any place.

Home is where you can curl up with a cup of tea and your Bible and seek God’s wisdom.

Home is forever.

Home is unconditional.

This is not my home.

My home is in heaven.

At home, I will not have tears.

At home, I won’t have to take medication for my uncontrollable pain.

At home, I won’t need my Bible…I can get it straight from the mouth of my Savior.

At home, I will have countless friends who love and care for me, but most of all worship the same Savior as I do.

At home, I will have my church around me; my church will worship at the feet of Jesus.

At home, I can dance for my Lord with sweet abandon, and not worry about what others think.

At home, I will be made a new creation, and won’t need to be told I’m beautiful.

At home, I will have a host of angels cheering me through the Gates of Heaven and showing me my name in the Book of Life.

At home, there is eternal peace and love.

At home, I am safe and secure.

At home, I can bow at the feet of my Jesus and praise his name forever.

This is home.

“But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.” Hebrews 11:16

The Eyes of the Lonely

2011-11-15T16:24:00.000-08:00

Oh my poor little blog! I did not mean to neglect you... This semester has been crazy, but full of experiences that I can't wait to share!

This semester I chose to take an intense 5 week CNA (Certified Nurse's Aide) course. By the grace of God, I am happy to announce that I passed my state board exam and am now certified!

This course allowed me four eight-hour shifts at a nursing home to do my clinicals. Those four days truly did change my life...I met so many beautiful people and felt like I was able to learn what being the hands and feet of Jesus truly is, no matter how hard or sad the job.

As a CNA, I basically took vital signs, assisted people to the bathroom, fed those who were unable, gave baths, cleaned up some very unpleasant messes, and sat with those who were at high risk for falls. Glamorous, right? The first day of clinicals, I was shocked at my response to several of the situations I was placed in. I felt completely comfortable after about an hour, and I began enjoying every moment I could spend with the couple of hundred people I met. The relationships I established were amazing, and I felt like I made a new friend every day.

And then I met Mr. E. this man couldn't use his arms or legs, couldn't speak, and would only eat ice cream. While this may seem funny, it was nothing compared to his eyes. As I sat at the table to feed him his ice cream for breakfast, I couldn't help noticing that he was always looking down at his hands. I started talking to him about nothing terribly important, and he finally raised his head and looked at me full on.

I gasped at what I saw in his eyes.

Loneliness.

I have never seen someone look so sad before in my life. His eyes screamed at me, and I didn't know what to do. It was such a shock, I immediately started praying. I prayed for his health, that God would keep him safe. I prayed for his soul, that God would reach him through his pain. I prayed for his eyes that God would take his loneliness and turn it into hope.

I went home that night and collapsed in my mother's arms, completely broken by my experience. That night as I cried for Mr. E., I opened my Bible and searched for something, anything that would help me. I came across one of my all time favorite verses, and I let it become my theme for the week.

Isaiah 40:30-31"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint."

Some of the people I took care of that week were over 100 years old, and of course they were tired! That does not mean, though, that they should be ignored or written off. Mr. E., for example was often ignored by the other CNA's because he couldn't communicate. It broke my heart to see all these lonely people milling about with no purpose,

Please look around you. There are so many who have no friends, no family, no purpose. Seek them out, and serve them as Jesus would. It is not always fun, and you may not only be appreciated, but it is what Jesus would do.

This post is for B. who, even with a severe birth deformity managed to be beautiful.

This post is for D. who cried when I told her that I would only be there for a few days.

This post is for M. who was blind, but still asked for nail polish to make her "presentable" for church.

This post is for B. who suffered from terrible pain, but still maintained a sweet, honest spirit.

This post is for Mr. E. who changed my heart.

This post is for the lonely, who need the love of Jesus.

For Miss Haley

2011-06-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

(I am so proud of my friend Haley. Why? Because she is joining an amazing mission to Slovakia with her family, and is letting God direct every step she takes, whether it is in America or not. This post is dedicated to my sweet friend, who I may not see for many months, yet who will always be my friend and confidante.)

Well, Haley? It’s been over 10 years since I became your friend. Remember when we used to sit together in first grade and we would compare our math scores? Do you remember how we became friends? I remember both of us being absolutely terrified of dogs, and whenever someone brought their dog in for show-and-tell, we would run to the library and wait for show-and-tell to be over. I remember holding your hand at recess, playing dolls, and doing each other’s hair. I don’t think it took us very long to become close friends! I remember your dad taking us to church with him, and we would take our dolls and climb into the choir loft. I remember singing next to you in choir, and being absolutely thrilled when you were chosen as Becky and I as the teacher in Tom Sawyer. I remember growing up with you, and how excited I always was to tell you what was going on in my life, and learn what was going on in yours.

I know that we became so close so fast because of the common thread that runs between us – Jesus Christ. I have watched him work in your life and change you from a quiet young girl, to a beautiful young woman. I have watched God mold your heart for His purpose, and have laughed and cried with you through all of our experiences!

You are truly a young woman after God’s own heart. I watch you model the behaviors that God desires, and I see you worship him in everything you do. You have no idea how my heart swells with pride as I watch you take on new adventures. Sometimes I cry to God and beg him not to take you away from me, but He always reminds me that there are others who can be blessed through your sweet spirit and encouraging words.

I don’t want to share you with the world, Haley, but I know that God is using you for a great purpose. I will miss you more than words can say, but I am so excited to see what God is using you for. I don’t know where he will take you after you minister to Slovakia, but I know that we will always have Jesus in common, no matter what changes.

Thank you, Haley, for all you have taught me in the 10 years we have been together. Thank you for always reminding me to trust God and lean on Him as my strength. You have always been a great example to me, and I am so grateful that God has brought you into my life. I want to send you off with this note as a blessing, so that you may always know that I love you, and am so proud of you and your family.

“May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” Psalm 20:4

“He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— he remains faithful forever.” Psalm 146:6

God is faithful forever, and he has great plans for you. I love you more than anything in this world, Haley, and I will miss you every day you are gone. Thank you for stepping out in faith and following God’s calling on your life. Although it hurts to let you go, I know we are both striving for the same beautiful ending: heaven and God’s open arms.

I love you, Haley.

Your sister in Christ forever and always,

Molly

Nine Years Ago...

2011-05-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe that it has been nine years since I became a Christian. I was eight years old, and I remember everything about that day so clearly. For months, I had been taking long walks around the neighborhood with my parents discussing all the aspects of God that I wanted to understand. I remember how on May 18, 2002, there was an urgency in my spirit that was crying out. I went to my parents and asked them with big tears in my eyes if I could be baptized. We invited some of the most important people in my life (my grandparents, first-grade teacher, and my family) to share in the celebration of the biggest decision I ever made.
This year has been a tough one for me. Between learning how to handle college-level courses, growing up, and getting treated unjustly on several different counts, my relationship with Jesus has grown in three main areas: Faith, Prayer, and Compassion.

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#1 – Faith.

I am not proud of the way I handled a lot of things this year, but I know that the tears that I cried late into the night were all for a reason. My college level classes stretched me not so much academically, but in learning how to deal with real-life situations. It was hard for me to go to class, hear all of the negative comments, foul language, and sad life-stories and not come home depressed or overwhelmed. Having a teacher that disagreed with me on almost every count did not help, either. However, I learned through this experience that, even in the hard times, it’s okay to let God take the lead.

There were about two weeks in April where I literally just lost it. I cried every day, and decided that I did not want to be a nurse. I screamed and shouted at God, demanding that he change the plan he has for me. I decided that college was not a Biblically sound choice for a woman and that if I went, I wouldn’t learn anything, and I would only be wasting time and money. And I decided this all in a two-week period where I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Yeah, that wasn’t a smart idea. Then one night, I listened to Britt Nicole’s song, “Have Your Way” at least eight times on the way home from work. I got home and just cried out to God, asking him to help me. I gave up my will, my wants, and my way and let him once more take the lead. Taking a leap of faith is not something I like to do, but I felt God call me so clearly, that I knew there was no other way. I had exhausted every other path, and come up with nothing but heartache and confusion. I do not know if God is still leading me to nursing, but I am confident that I can trust him, follow him, and let him lead me through every area of my life, whether I like it or not!

#2 – Prayer

I think prayer is the area of Christianity that I struggle with almost constantly. I get so distracted when I pray out loud, but I don’t go very deep if I only journal. I feel like I learned this year how to pray almost constantly; in the shower, in the car, at work, during school, and at dance. When I see someone who needs prayer, I have tried to just stop right there and pray for them. Maybe my prayers are not very long, but I try to make them meaningful. There have been countless opportunities for me to witness in the past few months, and I have been trying to take them all, making sure I reach the people who are in need. I know I will always struggle with prayer, but I am glad that I can always come to Jesus with the situations I am put in!

#3 – Compassion

I am not always a very compassionate person. Well, that’s not completely true…I can be very compassionate to young children, but I am not good at being compassionate with my siblings or adults. Inside my head, I often think, “Oh, brother…” or “Just get over it!” and I know these thoughts are not from God. I have tried to focus on being sweet and full of grace in every situation. Believe me, it’s NOT easy, and I am still working hard on it!

I saw a video clip this year entitled, “Every Life Has a Story.” It really enlightened me to the fact that those who treat me unfairly do it because of something else in their life. Perhaps they are only taking out their anger on me because they are truly angry at somebody else. I hate being treated with disrespect, and I have had too many instances this year in which I have gotten angry and lashed out at someone, only to find out that what they are going through is much worse than my situation. It hurts when people hurt you, but I promise, if you love them instead of retaliate, you will not feel awful later. This year, when I have been treated unfairly, I have asked God to rain down blessings upon that person. Somehow, asking God to bless, instead of curse, these people has helped me realize that their story may explain the reason why they are choosing to hate me. I may never know why, but if I choose to show compassion instead of hatred, I will be satisfied, and God will be pleased.

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May 18, 2011. My ninth spiritual birthday. Wow. God has helped me through so much in these nine years, and I can’t imagine what I will be able to say I have learned by next year.

I want to make an apology to my family. Mom, Dad, I’m sorry I’ve been disrespectful and scared about college and what I think God has in store for me. You are more often than not right about life, and I really will try to listen to what you have to say. I love you both so much. To Noah and Lexi, I love you both, and will try to show compassion toward you when you need it. I would do ANYTHING for you, and I pray we get to spend some quality time together in my last year of high school! To my Grandma and Grandpa, thank you for the extra love and care, and for taking me out to lunch to give me some good straight talking! You have no idea what an impact it has made on me.

And last of all, though certainly not least, I’m sorry Jesus for not trusting you. You are my God and King, and I will serve you until the end of my days.

Amen, amen!

Perfection

2011-04-11T07:17:00.000-07:00

I don’t even know how to describe the last two months. It has been the hardest two months of my life, and I am not proud of the way I have handled it. I am not proud of the way that I have doubted God. I am not proud of the way that I finally landed at His feet. All I can say is how thankful I am for finally realizing something very important.

I really hate admitting my faults. I don’t think it is probably easy for anyone, but a lot of the time I don’t like to admit them to other people. What you probably don’t know, is that I internalize every mistake I make and then yell at myself inwardly for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. It doesn’t matter how big the mistake is, whether or not I’ve been forgiven, or even if it wasn’t my fault. I take everything personally and bottle everything up until I explode.

For the last two months, my schedule has looked like this:

Sunday: Church 8:00 AM (if on Worship Band, make that 7:00 AM). Homework. Rest.
Monday: Biology 105 9:00-11:30. Homeschool 12:00-2:00. Dance 5:00-7:00.
Tuesday: Homeschool 9:00-1:00. Study/Homework for Biology. Work until 9:00 or so.
Wednesday: Biology 105 9:00-11:30. Homeschool 12:00-2:00. Church 6:00. (Worship band until 9:30)
Thursday: Homeschool 9:00-1:00. Lab Report for Biology. Dance 4:00-6:00. Family time.
Friday: Homeschool 9:00-12:00. Lunch with Grandma/Grandpa. Work until about 10:00.
Saturday: Work most of day.

It is an understatement to say that I have been busy. I’ve told my parents that sometimes I feel like I have been so busy, I can’t do anything well. It bothers me to not have time to encourage my friends, play with my siblings, or even walk my dog. It bothers me that I often cut my quiet time short to sleep for five more minutes. None of these things are right, and I have let them slide because of everything else that I have to do.

I’ve made some pretty silly mistakes in the past couple of months, and I think I have blamed a lot of them on a lack of sleep. While something can be said for being a little stressed, it is not right for me to be taking out my stress level on my family. It’s not right that I cry myself to sleep just at the thought of everything that I have to do the next day.

Through all of this stress, I have also had to take the ACT and study for my upcoming SAT, prepare a 10 minute long presentation for Biology, and take three Biology tests, study for one more and a final. I came home bawling on Saturday because I was not happy with the way the ACT went. I don’t even have my scores yet, and I am already convinced that I have failed. Never before have I struggled with a standardized test, but now I feel like a stupid failure for running out of time during the math section, even though math happens to be my best subject.

Every comment from someone telling me that I need to do better, every mistake in something I do at work, every marked down lab report or exam from Biology translates into a failure in my mind. Why is it so hard for me to keep going? Why is it so hard for me to be able to let a past mistake go?

My mama figured it out. I have spent many nights lately crying and complaining to her. About a week ago, she said something that helped me find my way back to trusting God.

“Honey, you don’t have to be perfect!” my mom said.

Oh, right.

I don’t have to be perfect – in fact I never will be! There is no way on earth that I will be able to be perfect, and all God asks is that I do my best and follow Him! He is not asking me to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, but to give my burden to Him, to trust HIM with my troubles.

Isn’t it interesting that Satan is attacking and wearing me down with perfection? Isn’t it interesting how my need to be perfect has only made me less than before?

My cry tonight as I once more turn over my burden to God is the following:

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint!” Isaiah 40:28-31.

When I am weary Lord, take my burden and keep me from falling. I will not grow weary, for you are with me.

“’Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.’ The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” Psalm 46:10-11

You are God, not me. Let me hear your whisper in the breeze, and not get caught up in the clamor of the world.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.

Here is my burden, Lord. Take it from me and give me the sweet rest that my soul is craving!

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, O Jacob, O little Israel for I myself will help you, declares the Lord, your Redeemer the holy one of Israel.” Isaiah 41:10.

I remember when my parents used to read this verse to me when I was afraid of the dark, Lord. I remember when that was all I ever had to fear. My troubles may be a little bigger now, but God you are still big enough to take care of them!

“O Lord God of heaven the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and obey his commands, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel.” Nehemiah 1:5-6.

My prayer reaches your ears, God, and I know you have heard my cry. Thank you for always being attentive to me.

“The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” Isaiah 58:11.

God, you are watering me and bringing me to life again. Thank you for reviving me with your loving kindness.

“If perfection could have been attained through the Levitical priesthood (for on the basis of it the law was given to the people) why was there still need for another priest to come – one in the order of Melchizedek, not in the order of Aaron?” Hebrews 7:11.

Jesus, I don’t need to be perfect because you are. I will strive to be all that I can be, but I will not take the weight of the world alone. I will bring it to you through prayer and allow you to carry me through this life.

I don’t need to be perfect. God has it covered. I will be okay, and will learn more than I ever imagined through this. God is with me, and all I have to do is my best – nothing more, nothing less.

I cannot be perfect by my own power. Only by His power will I be able to trust. Only by His love will I be able to continue.

I’m not perfect.

But God is.

A Cry for Christian Modesty

2011-03-02T07:23:00.000-08:00

This post is a cry from my heart. At the risk of offending you, I am going to speak the truth. Please know that the truth that I speak here is spoken out of love and a deep sadness of the direction that Christian modesty has taken.

Everywhere I go, I am bombarded by immodesty. At school (I am taking a dual-credit class at a Community College), at work, at dance, and even in my own church. It confuses me to think why there is so much immodesty in the church. Shouldn’t we protect our bodies and clothe them appropriately at church? Shouldn’t we dress modestly everywhere?

I recently read Jeff Pollard’s book, “Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America.” In my opinion, I think every woman, man, mother, father, daughter, and son should read this book. It really opened my eyes to some of the issues that I need to deal with in my personal life, and gave me a clear understanding of why we should dress modestly. In this book, Pollard says, “You are NOT your own, if you are a Christian. Your whole being – body and soul – is the purchased property of Jesus Christ; and the price paid for your body was the breaking of His…”

As a Christian, you MUST understand that your body has been sanctified. Now, we must dress like we are sanctified! If we strut around in immodest skirts, dresses, pants, and shirts, we are defiling the body that Jesus has made holy. We are throwing mud on the temple of Jesus Christ. We are allowing the world to ruin the purity that God has given to us as a precious gift.

I cry out to Christian girls of all ages: Please protect your bodies. They are a precious gift from God, and meant to be holy and pure. Do not defile them with immodesty. Check your hearts! If you are wearing a short skirt to “showcase” your legs, then you have a heart issue. Dress as you would if you were to be taken directly to the throne of God. Would you wear a revealing dress in front of the God who created you to be pure? No! You have been sanctified, and are ordered by God to dress modestly. 1 Timothy 2:9 says, “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyle or expensive clothes…”

I cry out to Christian women: Just because you are older or married does not make these rules of modesty go away. Actually, they should be just as strict, because YOU are the ones who set the example for the younger women. Remember Titus 2:7, “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching, show integrity and seriousness.” You, too, are created to be holy, and must dress accordingly. Cover up the body that God has given you so that you may be as modest as possible. I am not saying that you are to wear long, unflattering robes. Dress attractively without being seductive. And yes, I promise that it is possible.

I cry out to Christian fathers: Please protect the women entrusted to you. Whether it be your daughter or your wife, make sure that they are dressed in a way that is pleasing to God. Do not let your daughter leave the house without first making sure that their outfit is not one that will put them in danger. This may sound ridiculous, but the way a girl dresses has a huge effect on what the men around her think. Protect your daughter. Pollard says, “Although women are vulnerable to wearing lavish or sensual apparel, their fathers and husbands are ultimately responsible for what the women in their homes wear.” If you truly love your wife and daughters, protect them at all times.

This is my cry out for Christian modesty. Jesus has sanctified you, and you are called to dress in a manner that is an example of purity.

You are called to be holy.

Cora's Story: Part 3

2010-12-21T13:27:00.000-08:00

(Ten years later)

“Mama. Mama! Let me in. I have news!” I had been sound asleep, dreaming of something soft and peaceful when the loud knocking woke me. My daughter, Hannah, who was usually so calm, was shouting at the top of her lungs in the middle of the night. I groaned as I got out of bed, noticing keenly that I was not as young as I often believed I was.

“What is it Hannah? Is it the baby?” I asked, worried now. My Hannah had just given birth to a baby boy several weeks ago, and I wondered if it had taken sick. “No, Mama. It is much worse than that,” she said dismally.

What could be worse than a sick child, I wondered. “Well, Hannah? What in the world could be troubling you at this hour?” I asked, slightly annoyed that she had not left me to my sleep if it was not my grandchildren.

“It’s Jesus. He’s been arrested and taken to Pontius Pilate, and they are going to crucify him tomorrow,” Hannah said, tears sliding down her cheeks. Inwardly, I groaned. Not this again. My Hannah had devoted herself to serving Jesus ever since the day that he ‘healed’ Isaac. I still did not believe it was his doing, but Hannah had come to believe that Jesus was the Messiah as Mary had claimed.

What nonsense. My Hannah was fooled too easily.

“Hannah, don’t start with me. He’s not the Son of God, and maybe he did something to deserve crucifixion,” I said bitterly. I felt a twinge of guilt, and knew that I was lying. I had always taught my children that no one could do anything worth a death as horrible as being crucified, and here I was not even consoling my frightened daughter.

“You’re wrong, Mama. You’ll see one day,” Hannah said, real pain showing in her eyes. She got up and left, and I looked out the window and watched her walk down the street. I sighed heavily, knowing that I would be arguing with my daughter like this for days to come. I climbed back into bed, and Michael rolled over to look me in the eyes.

“I believe Jesus, Cora. Why don’t you?” he said, tears shimmering in his eyes. I looked at him in wide-eyed disbelief. He had never expressed any belief in this man, and I was shocked to see the faith he had showing passionately in the tears that slid down his face. “Michael! You can’t be serious!” I cried. He looked at me in sadness, and then rolled over again and went back to sleep. I tossed and turned that night, trying to make any sense of the crazy belief both my husband and daughter held with. They must be crazy!

Sleep did not come until the early hours of the morning, and when I finally woke up, it was past breakfast time. I opened my eyes and saw Michael leaning over me, trying to wake me up. “Cora, get up quickly. I need you to come with me,” he said gently. I figured he needed help with the chores and felt like a terrible wife for not getting up and making him breakfast. Quickly, I pulled on a warm dress, and pulled my shawl over my head for modesty. When my husband began to put on his shoes, I looked at him curiously. Where were we going? I was too tired to ask, however, and I made myself put my shoes on and follow him out the door.

“Michael?” I asked curiously. “Trust me, Cora,” was all he said. I yawned tiredly, and followed him along the road. We walked toward the center of the town, and I saw crowds lining the streets. Many of the people looked strained and some were even crying. I did not take long to wonder at this, though, since I was still befuddled from sleeping so late.

When we got up to the hill at the edge of town, however, I saw what was about to take place.

Michael had taken me to see the crucifixion of Jesus.

“Michael, no. I can’t watch this,” I said anxiously. No matter how much I disliked Jesus, I couldn’t watch him die!

“Cora, I need you here. You are my rock, and I need you to lean on. This is a dark day, and I, too, am afraid,” Michael said, his voice breaking. I looked at him in bewilderment. Never had I seen my husband show such emotion! Already, tears were coursing down his cheeks, and I had never seen him cry before. I resigned myself to the difficult day ahead, and allowed him to lead me closer to the front.

WHACK. CLANG.

I heard metal hit metal, and I looked up ahead in horror. Mary’s son, the man called Jesus, was being nailed to the cross.

WHACK. CLANG.

My stomach lurched, and I was grateful that I had not eaten anything that day. The noise was horrible, and I could barely stand still I was so agitated.

WHACK. CLANG.

The third nail went through the man’s feet, and I looked at Jesus’ face. Agony and sadness crumpled the man’s face, and yet I could see his determination to not cry out. How could the man be so brave? It must have been excruciatingly painful, and yet he did not yell like the other men did.

For the first time in a long time, I saw something special about the man. Something that was not present in any man I had ever known.

Had I been wrong?

The soldiers hoisted the cross up, and Jesus hung limply from it, tears finally streaming down his cheeks. I looked to my right and saw Mary, my long-ago friend staring in horror at her song dying in such pain. Images flashed through my head, and I thought about how that could have been MY son. The pain inside my former friend was evident, and her face was streaked with tears, her chest heaving with sobs. I turned around, not wanting to watch Jesus die, and looked all around me.

There were more people than I had first realized. In fact, there were more there than I had ever seen gathered before. What hit me next was the looks on the faces of the people. Tears were evident on nearly every face, many were crying out to Jehovah for help. These people were followers of this Jesus, and I had never seen such a devotion to anyone before. It reminded me much of how my sweet Mary had been towards Jehovah before I had utterly abandoned her.

I turned around, and Jesus’ eyes met mine. In all of his pain, he still conveyed a compassion that broke my heart.

In that instant, I knew I had been wrong. Very wrong.

My knees buckled, and I fell to the ground on my face. Michael leaned down beside me, but I would not let him help me up. I sobbed, crying out to God to rescue me from my bitterness, and take my life instead of the life of the man on the cross. I cried for the years I had wasted and the people I had hurt, but most of all for the main barely breathing before me, who was being sacrificed for something he didn’t do.

“My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?” Jesus cried, and the anguish in his voice made me sob all the harder. Was that not what I had felt when I had disbelieved Mary? That God had abandoned me? How wrong I had been!

“It is finished.” Those quiet words, made everyone in the crowd look up and see that Jesus was dead.

The man who had healed my heart, now left the world, and I had not apologized to him. My grief overwhelmed me, and once more I pressed my face to the earth.
A soft hand on my shoulder made me look up, and through my tears I saw Mary.
“I have waited for you to believe, Cora, and now you have!” Mary said with hope in her voice. I was overcome with the forgiveness she was able to show me though it was people like me who had caused her son to be hung on a cross...

“Oh, Mary! How horrible I have been to you. I don’t know how you will ever forgive me, and now your Jesus will not even have the chance to listen to my confession of guilt!” I cried mournfully.

“Cora. He has heard it, and you are forgiven,” Mary said. I looked in her face and saw the truth shining in her eyes. Jesus had seen my sins and that was why he had died. So that I, a poor, bitter, begrudging old woman could be forgiven.
The weight of sin lifted from me, and I cried for all that I wish I could have told Jesus, but then Mary’s soft hand cupped my chin.

“It’s not over, Cora. It’s not over,” she said softly.

I did not yet know what she meant, but I let her take my hand and together we walked home, grieving for our Lord but hopeful for what was yet to come.

(I hope you have enjoyed my Christmas series. I have enjoyed writing it, and have felt God take my faith somewhere that it is not always at during Christmas when I am often preoccupied. I hope my words have given you a new perspective for the season. Merry Christmas!)

Cora's Story: Part 2

2010-12-18T08:50:00.000-08:00

(Continued from Part 1...)
(Thirty years later…)

“Hannah, come here. Quickly, now!” I yelled. I was weary, and could not bear to call for my child another time. My husband, Michael, was several towns away, looking for work to provide for our family. We were married twenty-five years ago, and have only two children. Hannah and Isaac are good children, though they are often disrespectful and rude. I was nearly past my child-bearing years, and I wished desperately that we had been able to have more children. But God must not have meant it to be so, and I tried to remain content.

For some reason, however, I was always angry about something, and I could not do anything about the bitterness that I carried about within me. Deep inside, I knew that it stemmed from my jealousy of Mary. She had given birth to the “Savior” and he seemed like a perfectly normal child. There was nothing special about him. Although he is grown now, I have yet to see him save the world. Mary had gone on to have eight more children, and I was jealous of her ability to have such a wonderful family.

I have not talked to Mary since that fateful day when she told me of her pregnancy. I let myself stay angry at her, and, even now, I have no intention of forgiving her. What she did was just too wrong for me to let go of. Do I carry a grudge? Perhaps, but she deserves it.

Hannah finally came in from outside, her face red from the cold. She went straight to the fire and began warming her hands and cheeks. I watched my daughter and thought to myself how beautiful she was. Nearly twelve, she was nearing the age of womanhood, when she would think of marrying and leaving me. I tried not to think about it, but I did know that it was inevitable.

“Why were you calling me, Mama?” she asked. “I need you to find Isaac for me. I haven’t seen him all morning,” I said. Hannah nodded and went off in search of her brother. Isaac was forever getting into trouble, though it seemed that trouble usually found him. I sighed at the thought of bringing up such a rambunctious boy, but I knew that Michael was teaching Isaac how to be a man. Though he was only seven, he had a love for life that I admired.

When I watched Isaac laugh so joyously, it made me realize that something inside of me had died; the part that loved life and looked for the good in every situation. Bitterness and anger had become such a part of my routine, that I did not even try to change my ways.

“Mama!” came the cry from outside. I pulled a shawl over my shoulders and hurried outside to see what was the matter. Hannah was hunched over something in our field, and I ran over to see who it was.

It was Isaac. Nearly frozen, he lay collapsed on the ground huddled in a ball. I felt his forehead. It was a fever higher than I had ever felt before.

“No,” I breathed. It couldn’t be my Isaac. My beautiful, lively boy was laying there, closer to death than I had ever seen before. “Hannah! Run and fetch someone. The doctor. Someone!” I yelled. Hannah’s frightened face melted my heart, and I lay a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. As she ran off, I lifted my sweet boy into my arms and carried him inside. I wrapped him in blankets and tried to get him to drink water, but all he could do was moan and tremble.

My son was dying.

Hannah came running back with a man I had not seen in a long while.

It was Jesus. The man who I had come to loathe.

“What are you doing here?!” I screamed. Jesus looked at me calmly, taking my hand and leading me to a chair. I could not speak. Why was he being so kind to me? He went over to Isaac and sat on the pallet next to him. He took my son’s hand and looked at him with a tenderness I had never seen before. Part of me wanted to scream at him to stop touching my boy, but something inside of me stopped and I watched in wonder as he breathed words that I could not hear into Isaac’s ear. What seemed like only a moment later, a short gasp came from Isaac’s lips, and his eyes fluttered open. I hastened to his bedside, and looked into his face.

His fever had broken.

I looked at Jesus in bewilderment, and he looked back at me with eyes that told of something I had never seen before. I still do not know what it was, but I do know that it was something I had never seen in a man here on earth. I looked up to thank Jesus, but he had already gone, slowly shutting the door and leaving without expecting any thanks.

My bitter heart melted only slightly, and I realized that maybe I could be wrong. Months later, I had come to think of the miracle as only a coincidence. Jesus had only been there at the exact moment Isaac’s fever had broken. It wasn’t his doing. It was luck. Chance. Coincidence.

My heart hardened even further, and I thought that nothing could break through the wall I had built around my heart. Nothing could touch me and erase the bitterness encasing my ability to forgive.

Nothing could break me.

Cora's Story: Part 1

2010-12-15T08:36:00.000-08:00

(Last year for Christmas I wrote a four-part story from Mary’s perspective about the birth of Jesus. This year, I am going to take a fictional perspective from a young lady named Cora, Mary’s best friend. No, she is not real, but I imagine that Mary must have had somebody like Cora in her life. So, without further ado, here is Cora’s story.)

It was unbearably hot. I could barely breathe from the oppressive heat, much less work inside my dirty, muggy house. I asked my mother if I could take a break and go visit Mary, my best friend. I was given permission, and so I began the five-minute trek to Mary’s home. While I walked I thought of all of the things Mary and I had done together. Since we were knee-high babies, we had played and laughed together. We were never separated for long, and I was grateful to have such a faithful, inspiring friend.

Mary was always sweet and kind, and I had rarely seen her become angry. I trusted Mary completely and knew that she was my faithful friend and confidante. Never had I had a reason to distrust her or doubt her words. After pondering all of this, I had finally reached Mary’s house. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I could smell bread baking, and I knew that Mary or someone had to be home. I knocked louder, and upon hearing no response, I lightly pushed the door open. Peeking inside, I saw a strange sight.

There was Mary, on her knees in the middle of her family’s house, eyes scrunched shut and tears pouring down her face. I thought that surely something must have happened to her. Had someone hurt her?

“Mary. Mary!” I cried frantically. Her eyes flew open in surprise, and I saw something in her eyes that I had never seen before: wide-eyed wonder. “Mary, what has happened? Is it your family? Say something!” I pleaded. Her mouth opened and closed without uttering a word, and I was clueless as to what had happened to my poor, beautiful Mary.

“It’s all right, Cora. I’m fine. More than fine, actually. I’ve just seen an angel!” Mary said, glowing in a way I had never seen before.

“Mary, you must be feverish! Let me help you to your bed…” I soothed. “No, Cora. I am not feverish. I am with child,” Mary stated calmly. It was now my turn to open and close my mouth soundlessly. My Mary, my pure, honest Mary was pregnant. How? What had she done? Was it her fiancé, Joseph’s fault? Who had done this to her.

She must have seen the thoughts racing through my head as she placed a hand on my shoulder and said, “Cora, I am a virgin still. This baby is born by the will of God. He is allowing me to be the mother of the son of God who will come to save the world from all of this sin and turmoil!”

Something inside of me snapped and I felt bitterness begin to flood my body. “How could you, Mary? How could you lie to my face like this! I may not be married, but I know of the way a child is conceived. That God gave this babe to you is a lie. A lie! How could you convince yourself of such nonsense? Do you really think that Joseph is going to believe that notion? Do you think he will be pleased with your news? I think not. Mary, how can you lie to my face?” I cried, real tears pouring down my face.

“Cora, please! I have not done what you say. I am a virgin!” Mary sobbed, pain and sorrow overshadowing her beautiful features. Anger rose up inside of me, and I shook Mary by the shoulders. “You lie to yourself, Mary. I cannot be friends with a hypocrite,” I said angrily.

Mary’s heart-wrenching sobs only doubled the pain in my heart, and I began to walk to the door. “Mary, I will not be back until you confess your sin and stop lying to yourself. I am no longer your friend,” I said coldly.
I put one foot outside the door and Mary said quietly, “One day, you will see, Cora. One day, you will know that I carry the Messiah.”

Bitterness hardened my heart and I sent one last angry look at Mary before stepping outside and slamming the door. My sweet Mary was a hypocrite and I would never look at her again. Never.
To be continued…

Neverland

2010-10-05T08:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking an awful lot about how I am going to have to admit that I am growing up. I am a junior in high school this year, and all I can think about is how much I DON’T want to grow up. I suppose that I am sort of excited for college, but all I really want to do is stay home with my family forever and ever.

I guess what I want is Neverland.

I want to be able to dance forever, always learning and growing in my ability to praise and worship God through ballet and pointe. Knowing I will have to give it up in a year and a half is very difficult for me to swallow. It has been such a part of my life since I was three years old, that I simply can’t bear to think about it.

Maybe I could dance in Neverland.

I want to stay here with my brother and sisters and continue our special dates to get smoothies, books, and ice cream. I want to always be within earshot of them if they should need me. My little brother is about to turn thirteen, and I know there will be trials ahead of him. I only wish I could stay here forever with my wonderful
siblings, so that we could grow in our faith together.

In Neverland.

I have wonderful friends that I know will be going places other than here, and I can’t bear to see us get split up. My dear friend Haley and I have been friends since we met in the library in first grade, and she will be going to the other side of the world to do mission work. I can’t imagine what it will be like to be apart from her for so long. I want us to stay together forever.

Only in Neverland.

I’m afraid. Truly, I am. I don’t know exactly what God has in store for me, but I know that I will have to face many new challenges that I do not think I am ready for. Others tell me that I am ready, but I doubt myself so much. I want a place where I will be accepted readily and can be loved by everyone, a place where I can serve others and bless them as well.

In Neverland.

I suppose what I really want is a place where I don’t have to face my age or maturity. A place where I could sing and dance all day. A place with my friends and family that would always be there for me. A place where I would always be loved and accepted, never an outcast or a stranger. What I want will not exist until heaven, so i will grow up and take on responsibility. I will face the future eventually.

But for now, I can find it in Neverland.

“I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime – until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” Isaiah 46:3-4

He Can

2010-09-21T18:37:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of things that I am struggling with right now. Not necessarily huge things, but they are things that are challenging me all the same. Many times when I have confided in someone, they respond with the usual, “You can do it!” But guess what?

I can’t.

Nope, not at all. I’m not being negative here, I’m just stating the fact. I am a sixteen year old girl that can’t do anything. By myself, that is… Thankfully, God can do what I am unable to do, and I could not be more grateful to Him.

This week I really struggled with the classes I am taking at the college this year. I have been very intimidated by English and Sociology, mostly because I feel so YOUNG. I was confident that I could succeed in the classes – until I started them, anyway. When I began my sociology class, I began to see all the different and strange opinions that these college students have. Sure, some of them agree with mine, but the majority of the opinions differ greatly from my opinions on life, faith, and God. I cried several times over the fact that this class is HARD. I felt totally unprepared for the strange topics I was given to write about. My mom helped me figure the class out, and I spent a few hours working on it. Through those hours, I prayed on and off for God’s help in this class. “God, help me be a witness. God, please help me to get a good grade. God, don’t let them be mad at me!” – these were the prayers running through my head. And then I realized something.

I can’t do this by myself. I am UNABLE. But, God can. He can help me when I feel afraid, when my beliefs are attacked, and when I am downcast. I can’t do it on my own!

I can’t, but He can.

There was also a time this week when I had to defend my faith harder than I have ever had to before. I argued and rationalized and witnessed for several hours, not realizing that I was missing a very important element. I was trying to witness and get this person to realize how very real God is, and I was trying to do this all by myself.

And guess what? I can’t. It is not up to me to convince a person to believe in God. It is not up to me to make someone believe. That is what God can do. It is NOT MY JOB. I am a messenger, yes, and I am here to plant seeds, but ultimately God will have to change that person’s heart.

I can’t, but He can.

Sometimes I feel very alone. Very scared. Very confused. Yes, I have friends, but a lot of times I do not call on them, or they are busy. I huddle in my room and throw a pity party, not realizing something very important.

I can’t face the trials in my life alone. I can’t do it BY MYSELF. I will be lonely all my life if I do not turn to Jesus when I am afraid.

I can’t do it alone, but He can help me.

I am so thankful that I am not alone. I have no words to describe the wonderful feeling of trust, faith, and hope all wrapped up in my love for Jesus and His love for me. I am so glad that God is big enough to save me from my sins. To save ME, a helpless and incapable young girl from loneliness.

Thank you, Jesus.

I can’t, but You can.

All the Right Things

2010-08-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

Our world today has so many negative and false views of Christianity today, that it is hard for others to know what is really right and true about the life of a Christian. For instance, it is commonly believed that most Christians are hypocrites and do not really live the life that they claim to.

Is that statement true? Do the majority of Christians really use the “do as I say, not as I do” mentality?

Unfortunately, I think it is somewhat common among Believers. No, the majority is not lying about their faith, but the fact that there are still some that do not follow what they claim is truth. Because of these people, though, it taints the world’s view of Christianity.

We were driving to church the other day, and I began looking around at all the houses in my neighborhood. I made a comment to my mom that we did not even know half of the people living in the houses next to ours. I began thinking about how we did not know there stories and whether or not they knew Jesus.

We arrived at church, which is not even two minutes from our house, and I began thinking about all the opportunities I have to invite my neighbors to church. I get so wrapped up in my own bubble, my own life, that I forget to think about others and what I can do for them.

It is so easy as a Christian to say all the right things about your walk with God, while completely forgetting that there are millions of people all around you that need to find the love of Jesus! It is so sad that for so long, people have walked around doing and saying all the right things, yet forgetting to reach out to others!

I am trying to make that change in my own life. I want to love Jesus, do what is right, and reach out to people all at the same time. At work, home, church, and even the grocery store there are opportunities to touch someone’s life!

Instead of living in your own “Christian bubble”, we need to try and touch the people around us in a way that may plant a seed that will later blossom into a relationship with Christ. If this means praying with or without your family when you go to a restaurant, do it. If it means smiling and being kind to those around you, do it. If it means praying for someone who looks like they are in need, do it.

There are opportunities all around us, but if we only say the right things and yet do not live it, then all our efforts are worthless.

“He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' " Luke 10:27

A Captured Heart

2010-06-29T20:27:00.000-07:00

This post is one I have started to write for two years. I know it needs to be said, but I am afraid of the comments I may get because of it. But God has put it on my heart that it is something that needs to be written. If you are reading this and are offended, please know that I am not posting this to be self-righteous or to make you feel bad. I post it out of love for you and for God. What I say here is not meant to make you angry or defensive… It is only to be thought-provoking and a small piece of advice.

Tomorrow, a movie comes out that many teens are extremely excited about. This movie is one that has been long awaited by many teens who have planned and waited for the midnight showing.

This movie (“Eclipse”) is the third in the Twilight series.

I have skirted around this topic for two years, because I know my view will not be popular. However, I know what it is like to be caught up in some guilty pleasure that I know is sin, yet cannot get away from.

My guilty pleasure is the show “Dancing with the Stars”. It pains me to admit it, and I do not want to, but I have watched the last couple of seasons, and I have watched it go from slightly unclean to extremely raunchy. I have been praying about this pleasure, and God has made it clear to me that it is a waste of time. Not only does it go against many of the Bible’s teachings, but it is filled with sexual tension and immodesty. It is not easy to give up, but I believe it is something evil that should be avoided by everyone.

It is the same way with Twilight. Girls have become so enamored with the idea of vampires, werewolves, and average humans that they have forgotten what reality truly is. They have become so caught up in the books that they overlook the sexual references, the detailed make-out scenes, and the explicit descriptions of body contact, and only think about the “good” aspects of it.

Whether or not you want to believe it, Twilight is emotional PORNOGRAPHY. It is something that draws you in, captures your heart, and makes you forget about the Bible’s teachings. I know many girls who have read the books countless times, and each time they talk about it, they speak of it like it an addiction and obsession. Like drugs or alcohol, these books draw the reader in and make them long for more.

It is sad to watch teenagers, even the Christian ones, become so enamored with something so fake. Vampires are not real, people, so why should you desire them? Vampires have long been associated with the Occult, so why should Christians make-believe that they are harmless? Perhaps they are not real, but they can still be extremely harmful to the hearts and minds of humans.

If Jesus came to your house, do you think he would approve of the Twilight books on your shelves, CD’s in your stereo, and movies in your home? I highly doubt it. If Jesus would go to the movies today do you think he would go to Eclipse?

All you have to do is look at the cover of the first book and see the evil that is inside. The apple on the cover should remind you of the fruit that Satan gave to Eve who gave it to Adam. This fruit is what allowed sin to enter the world. It was a temptation for both Adam and Eve, just like Twilight is a temptation for young men and women.

Matthew 26:41 says, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." This verse accurately describes the feelings of teens toward Twilight. They do not want to do what is wrong, yet there is something so enticing about these books that they choose them over what is right. They seem harmless at the beginning, yet they become something so addicting, that they become more real to the teens than the Bible itself.

If you have gotten this far, and you have felt a conviction in your heart, then please choose to give up these books. Please do not let them enter your mind and corrupt it. I am not saying that it will be easy for you to give up these books, but it something that God asks everyone to do – Acts 3:19, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” Ask the Lord to help you make it through your Twilight “detox” and to give you a time of refreshing and cleansing of your mind and heart.

After choosing to get rid of this area in your life, find something wholesome to replace it. Such as reading all the verses in the Bible about moral filth and immorality, or some good Christian fiction (if you need some suggestions, I can give you some good ones! I read a lot…)

Do not let your heart be captured by the evils presented by the world… Allow your heart to be captured by Jesus, who washes away your sins and allows you to begin anew.

To Save the Children

2010-06-23T13:29:00.000-07:00

I have always loved staying in hotels, whether on a vacation or other reason. Recently, I took a trip to Denver with my family, and we stayed in a hotel for two nights. The first thing I noticed when I walked into the bathroom was a sign hanging from the towels. Being a very visual person, I picked it up and read it. The sign talked about how this particular hotel was committed to reducing the amount of water, energy, and waste and that, if I wanted to help them in this plan, I could hang my towel up on the rack signaling the maid that I did not wish for my towel to be washed that day. I did not think much of this sign, until I went out to the bedroom and saw a similar sign lying on the sheets of the bed. For some reason, the signs turned me off. It was not until later that night that I realized why.

This hotel (along with many other places) was so consumed with the fact of saving the amount of energy used and protecting the rain forest, that they were missing something very important. I am not saying that what they are doing is wrong at all…
In fact, I agree that we should be stewards of the things God has given us and not waste the blessings that we have been granted. I think the rainforest is one of the most beautiful things ever created and, while it should be protected, should NOT be at the top of the priority list. What should be of utmost importance? I’m glad you
asked…

The answer would be this: Children.

Why are these people so concerned with the environment, and not the four-thousand babies that are aborted EACH DAY only in America? In my point of view, I feel like we have missed something that should have been placed first on America’s agenda.

Yes, saving water and other resources is a good idea… But it has become more important than saving the children.

50,000,000. That is the number of babies aborted every year here in America. Fifty million babies that were never given a chance to live, to breathe, to cry. Wake up, America! If you must leave behind the project of saving the environment so as to save the lives of unborn babies, than do it! If we use up all our energy, water, and other resources, then so be it! The lives of helpless, beautiful babies are far more important than whether or not to wash a towel after only one use. If America (and other countries) could only direct these projects toward saving children, not the number of sheets washed everyday in the hotels, the silent cry of the babies would be comforted. Abortions are rampant in America, and it is very difficult to watch a place with over 850 hotels worldwide direct their efforts to something with so little meaning.

“The project will support the employment, education and healthcare for the approximately 2,500 people who live there…” This is a quote directly from this hotel’s website, and it is speaking about a rainforest in Brazil. Perhaps we are providing employment, education, and healthcare for people in Brazil, but we are extinguishing the lives of fifty million babies a year.

The unborn children are crying out to you. Will you answer?

Labors of Love

2010-05-11T11:33:00.001-07:00

Next year I will be a Junior in high school, and I have begun to think about college, where I want to go, what I want to do, and if I even am going to go to college. There are a lot of decisions ahead of me, and I have been thinking and praying over them a lot.

However, the subject of college and graduating is not what has been first and foremost on my mind. Strangely enough, I have been thinking a lot about motherhood.

As my family celebrated Mother’s Day this last Sunday, I watched my mom and realized how much she does for her family. In truth, mothers should be celebrated every day, not only once a year! My mom is so amazing and wonderful, and I hope that one day I can be a mother just like her.

As I watched her converse and play with my siblings, I began thinking about the days ahead when I would be a mother to my own children.

Honestly, I cannot wait.

In a world where motherhood is sometimes dreaded and considered a burden, I look forward to staying home with my children, homeschooling them, and teaching them about the everlasting love of Jesus. I love children of all ages, and I simply cannot stop thinking with excitement about my future.

Several weeks ago, we had some dear friends come up who have two young girls (“E”, age 4, and “S”, age 2). The youngest latched on to me immediately, and I was able to carry her around, playing with her all day long. She was so sweet, and when I asked her what her favorite part of the day was, she looked up at me with her big green/brown eyes and said, “My favorite part was makin’ cookies wif you, Miss Mowwy!” It melted my heart, and made me wonder if one day my own child would say that to me. That night, S couldn’t go to sleep, so I took her in my arms and began singing hymns softly in her ear, stroking her hair, and whispering words of comfort until she finally drifted off to sleep. That was such a tender experience, that it made me think about the many nights where I will sing my own children to sleep with words from soft, happy hymns that my mom always sang to me when I was scared.

Last week, my mom was very sick, and had to stay in bed. My dad was at work, so I was helping my siblings with school and making dinner. At first, I dreaded it, but then realized that my mom does it every day without complaining while juggling whatever other problems we currently had. Cooking, cleaning, and teaching are all labors of love that my mom so sweetly goes about doing every day without a single word of protest or selfishness. So, as I made quiche and muffins, I remembered that every step of mothering is a labor of love.

Even the most unpleasant things, like changing diapers, working through sickness, and cooking when tired are small sacrifices that are made all in the name of motherhood. Somehow, my mom has taught me to look forward to every chore, without complaining, and they become enjoyable. Motherhood is something I look forward to every day, whether it is doing the dishes or rocking a fussy baby to sleep.

One day, my dreams will come true, and I look forward to that day already, even though I am only sixteen.

True to the Faith

2010-05-04T21:28:00.000-07:00

(The following is an essay I wrote long ago on how to treat immorality.)

Hollywood, California has become a place full of evil and immorality. The media has also become infected with this terrible secular culture, and most movies and television shows are no longer appropriate for any age. And yet even the Christians still watch these types of movies, filled with sex, drugs, violence, and sin. Many actors and actresses in the media live lifestyles that go completely against the Bible and Christianity, but most Christians do not think about these things. Christians have become comfortable with watching, breathing, and living sin, and no longer reject the evil that permeates these films and ideas. Should Christians support such media? Is it right to watch and enjoy movies with actors and actresses that live their lives completely against what God has said and commanded in the Bible?

Whether it is buying and watching movies or going to the movie theater, Christians must think about their choices. Instead of going to the store and picking out a movie that looks good, they must research it first and find out about the actors and actresses in it, deciding for themselves whether or not the movie is completely free from evil. 2 Timothy 2:22 says, “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” God wants us to stay separate from all forms of evil, whether they seem harmless or not.

Christians can be easily dragged into the evils of the media without ever thinking of the sin that is so rampant in it. Satan has molded the media to fit his standards rather than God’s, and has made it look harmless and entertaining in the meantime. This kind of deception is perhaps the most dangerous, because it is the hardest to detect. Christians must always be on their guard for such sin, making sure that they are not ensnared by evil.

Although there are many actors and actresses that live moral and upright lives, the majority has fallen into sin and live immoral, financially ruined lives. Lindsay Lohan, a young actress is an example of this sort of ruin. Starting out as a beautiful child actress and model, her career took off, but soon crashed when she was only eighteen. Lohan was arrested for several DUI’s, cocaine incidents, and car accidents, and yet every time she was released she went back to her old lifestyle. To this day, she is still ruining her life, never breaking out of the cycle of sin that she is trapped inside. On the other hand, she is a wonderful actress and beautiful girl. It is easy for Christians to see the good side of her and ignore the bad, but she is truly a messed up young woman.

Should Christians support people like Lohan? The answer is no, they should avoid all evil. Yet they should not cut sinful people off completely, for these people may never find Christ’s love if they are never told of it. Simply, Christians should show them love and compassion, but not support their choices and lifestyles. Instead, they can show them the love of God, and they may one day be brought to the everlasting love of Jesus and the Father.

It is difficult for Christians to make this kind of decision, because the media is so entertaining and enjoyable. To cut off this kind of connection is hard and a sacrifice, but at the same time they are following God’s will. Mark 14:38 says, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." This verse says that Christians must pray that they will be able to flee the evil that is so prominent and always follow what God desires.

Watching

2010-04-27T09:54:00.000-07:00

This past week I read the book “1984” by George Orwell. If you have ever read it, you know about the ‘telescreens’. These television-like objects see into the homes of the owners and plays only government propaganda. I thought the telescreens were quite an interesting object in the story, considering it was written in the early
1900’s, and began reflecting on what that would be like in today’s world.

Well, I hate to say it, but we actually have propaganda spewed into our homes every time we turn on our modern-day televisions.

Think back to the commercials and shows that you have watched this past week. My family does not make a habit of watching TV, except to watch a game show every now and then. Although those shows are not harmful in and of themselves, the commercials we see in between contain enough sex, drugs, and lies to indoctrinate us immediately. (This is why my family is constantly talking about the humanist and evil influence on today’s world. We HAVE to be able to recognize it when we hear it!) Have the shows you’ve seen had a lot of immorality and humanist ideas?

At first you might say no, but if you take a closer look, I can guarantee that you have seen something that is a lie. It might be that a character in your drama was immoral with several different men. This allows the watcher to think that it is okay, and that sex should not be saved only for marriage. Or maybe a character committed suicide, allowing the watcher to think that life is not a precious gift. Or maybe a husband and wife got a divorce shortly after getting married, conveying that marriage is not meant to be forever.

These ideas are not displayed only through the shows but in the commercials, as well. You absolutely MUST be on your guard at all times so that you are not brainwashed into thinking that these things are okay. Not only should you make sure to recognize the untruths displayed on television, but you should seriously consider which shows you watch and which are simply too inappropriate or humanistic to waste your time on.

99% of American homes own a television. I don’t know if this statistic shocks you, but to me it seemed unbelievable. If all Christians got rid of their televisions and watched only what was appropriate and praiseworthy, imagine the effect it would make.

I’m not saying everyone should simply throw their TV’s out the window, but it is something to seriously consider. A lot of evil and humanistic thought comes from the influence of television, and I’m not sure that the pros outweigh the cons (are there any pro’s?).

Please consider what you are watching…because you never know what might slip into your brain when you are not paying attention to what God wants you to hear, think, and see.

“Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway.” Proverbs 8:34.

Risen Indeed!

2010-04-04T05:15:00.000-07:00

(This is continued from Friday’s post on the death and crucifixion of Jesus. It is still from Mary’s perspective. Have a very Happy Easter, and remember that CHRIST IS RISEN!)

I walked around as if I had died, too. When my son gave up his spirit on the cruel, ugly cross, something perished within me. I cried out to God all day long, but was beginning to feel numb to His whispers. How could God have killed His only son? Surely there was no plan in this horrible deed!

He was dead for three days before I finally decided to visit the tomb. I simply could not bear the pain and suffering it would bring. My friend Mary Magdalene let me lean on her on the way there. She, also, was a follower of Jesus, and was much grieved by his death.

We finally got to the tomb, and I fell on my knees in despair. The ground began shaking, and I was sure it was punishment for being angry with God. However, Mary Magdalene felt it, too, her eyes wide with fear. I tried to stand up, but was knocked back down. What could this be? And earthquake, perhaps?

And then the stone that covered the tomb of my beloved son rolled away. Mary Magdalene and I both shrieked in confusion and burst through the small opening into my son’s grave room.

It was empty.

I cried out in despair, thinking that someone must have taken his body. Who could be so callous as to do something so cruel? And then I heard a voice that was quietly calling my name.

“DO NOT BE AFRAID!” the man, an angel of God, boomed. Those words brought a flood of memories back to me. Those were the first words I heard from an angel when he told me that I would bear the son of God.

Immediately, my trembling stopped. I knew that this brightly shining man was from God and had brought us good news!

“I KNOW YOU ARE LOOKING FOR JESUS, WHO WAS CRUCIFIED. HE IS NOT HERE! HE HAS BEEN RAISED FROM THE DEAD, JUST AS HE SAID WOULD HAPPEN. COME SEE WHERE HIS BODY WAS LYING, THEN GO QUICKLY AND TELL HIS DISCIPLES THAT HE IS GOING AHEAD TO GALILEE!” the angel said.

Excitement and hope, two feelings I had not felt for three days, began beating within my heart. My friend and I took one last look at the tomb, then began running toward the town, our feet nearly flying.

Before we got there, however, a man stepped out into the path, blocking our way. We skidded to a halt, and soon realized that the man was Jesus, my son! Joy sang from my heart, and I ran to hug him. He took me in his arms, and reassured me that all would be well. Then he said, “Go. Spread the news to all the earth!” Mary Magdalene and I heeded his words and once again began our journey of joy.

“He is RISEN! He is RISEN! Jesus is ALIVE!” I cried. The people in the street all stopped to stare, and many of them joined me on my delivery of the greatest news ever to be known to people. Shouting, dancing, and singing began, making the atmosphere seem almost like a party or holiday of some kind. People all around began clapping and shouting for joy, just as I had upon seeing my son.

Forty days passed in which I could not stop smiling and singing for joy. But on that fortieth day, I woke up knowing that something bittersweet was about to happen. I walked out of my house, and headed for the place where I knew Jesus would be meeting his disciples.

When I got there, a large crowd was gathered and was walking behind Jesus, who was leading them to Bethany. I did not know exactly what was happening, so I followed.
I somehow worked my way up beside Jesus, and he gave me one last loving look that I would not forget for the rest of my life. I smiled at him, and let myself fall back into the crowd once more.

When we reached Bethany, Jesus raised his hands and began blessing the crowd. A silence had fallen over the crowd, and I was able to hear every word Jesus spoke. Then the crowd began worshiping my son with song and dance, and Jesus began rising up into the air.

He was ascending into heaven to be with his Heavenly Father.

As my son began to disappear into the clouds, my heart did not become burdened, but happy, for I knew that no one could hurt my Jesus any longer.

For he was in heaven with his Father who truly did have a plan for the crucifixion.

The Sacrifice

2010-04-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

(In remembrance of Good Friday, I wrote this post from Mary’s perspective as she is gazing on the cross. Most of it is embellished from how I think she must have felt, but it is the true story of God’s only son’s crucifixion.)

I was taking a walk in the beautiful sunshine when I heard it. The cry came from not one person, but many! A steady wailing came from several streets over, and I ran to see what could have happened. Thoughts flashed through my head faster than I could interpret them: Had someone died? Was there a stoning going on? Neither events were uncommon, but I was afraid all the same.

“Mary! Have you not heard? Were you not there?” my friend Ada asked. I looked at her in puzzlement and her eyes got wide and fearful. “Oh, Mary…it’s Jesus. He’s been arrested,” Ada cried.

Those words alone were enough to knock me to my knees. I had known something would happen to my son, the only son of God, but I had prayed that nothing would. From the crowd’s murmurings, I gathered that Jesus had already been tried before the Sanhedrin, and they had passed him off to Pontius Pilate, the governor.

I followed the crowd, not knowing if I was walking or running, my heart beating wildly. I caught a glimpse of my son, and saw that he was heavily burdened and in pain. My heart broke for him, wondering if he knew exactly what was going to happen. We got to the place where Pilate was, and Jesus was put before him. My heart beat in time to the words, “Please, God. Please, God,” and I could think of nothing else.

“Are the things these people say about you true? Are you the king of the Jews?” Pilate asked. Jesus replied that he was and Pilate looked at him in bewilderment. Then Pilate shouted, “It is Passover, the time where I release one prisoner. Which do you want? Jesus or the murderous Barabbas? Who shall I turn over to you?”

The crowd thundered and screamed, “WE WANT BARABBAS!” My heart sank to my knees. I knew what would come. Surely my son would be thrown in prison for life.

“And what should I do with this man called Christ?” Pilate asked, looking fearful of their answer. “CRUCIFY HIM!” the crowd shouted.

Time seemed to slow to a stop all around me. A crucifixion? They wanted to crucify my son, God’s son? No! That could not be what they said…they were only going to throw him in prison, right? The sound became deafening in my ears, and I realized that the crowd was serious about my son’s crucifixion. Did they not see that he was the son of God?

Pilate brought out a bowl of water and washed his hands, signifying that he had nothing to do with Jesus’ death. I couldn’t believe how cowardly he was being! Perhaps he had no power over the raucous crowd, but to kill an innocent man? That was too far!

Jesus was then made to walk to the place where he would pick up his cross. The soldiers beat and mocked him, leaving scars on his face and back. My perfect child was being brutally mocked, and the crowd was letting him? Except for the few hundred people who were sobbing over the coming death of Jesus, the rest of the city was allowing the only Son of God to be killed.

My son was so weak he could not carry his cross. A friend had to help him, and I was eternally grateful for the burden of it being taken from my son. Every step he took was determined, but sad. I could see in his eyes the great pain he was bearing, and not from any physical source.

Every step I took led me closer to the cross. Every breath brought me one step closer to seeing my son die. I could not take it anymore. I had to talk to my son. I ran ahead of the crowd, pushing and shoving my way through. I got up to where Jesus was, although a few feet away, and I cried, “Jesus!”

He looked at me, and somehow seeing his determination brought me a peace and calm that transcended my soul. He nodded at me that he was not doing something against his will, and I breathed the words, “I love you,” in his direction. A small smile lifted his lips, but it came from sorrow rather than happiness.

Once more, the crowd swept me away, bringing me closer to the moment I dreaded most. Nothing could compare to seeing my son die…nothing at all. Not the moment when I found out I was pregnant by an angel, not the moment when I told my fiancé and parents, not the moment when I gave birth to the Christ-child.

The nails were driven into his hands and feet with three resounding pounds. My heart broke with each one as I watched tears flow down my son’s cheeks. “God,” I whispered, “I do not know what you are doing!” Anger and pain flowed over me, but a whisper came from the God I loved: “I am with you, daughter.” The anger eased, though the pain tripled, as my son was hoisted above the ground.

A mocking sign over my son’s head read, “THIS IS JESUS, THE KING OF THE JEWS.” Oh, how I wanted to rip it down and stomp on it! They did not believe it, it was only sarcasm. Then a cry came from my son.

“My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?” Jesus cried.

I began sobbing at those words. The hopeless, confused words of the son of God. The one who was being crucified unfairly by people who had no idea who he was.

Then Jesus cried, “It is finished!” and let his head drop one last time. He was gone.

I stayed many hours at the foot of the cross, crying and asking God why this had happened. My heart was full of misery and sorrow, and I knew I would never forget the day that the son of God died on a cross.

Did God have a plan? Was He even there? Once more whispers in my heart soothed my spirit, and I knew for certain that God had a plan.

Identity

2010-03-11T10:10:00.000-08:00

(I realize that this blog is more rambling than usual, but it something I had to write. Please bear with me as I pour out my thoughts…)

I am a people-pleaser by nature. I always have been. When I was little, if I was corrected by my Sunday school teacher or got scolded for talking I would be devastated. I want so badly to please the people that I respect, yet I still want to stand up for my beliefs.

It is very hard for me to take criticism, simply because I think that when I do something wrong that I have let that person down. While this may be true, most criticism comes out of love and a want for me to improve in my spiritual life. I have come a long way in listening to others thoughts about me, but I still stumble.
When criticism is given unjustly, my heart is broken. When a person judges me unfairly, I weep inside. Sometimes it is hard to know that someone dislikes me or doesn’t care for the REAL me, and I often wonder if I have done something wrong.

But I must stand strong. I cannot let others run all over me simply because they don’t like me or have listened to gossip about my life. I must learn to look to God for my self-worth, not the world’s view of my life.

MY IDENTITY IS IN CHRIST.

I didn’t know I struggled with this until the last few months. I thought I knew who I was, and was prepared to always defend my beliefs and my identity. But it has been severely tested, and I wonder sometimes if standing up for myself is worth the pain and the trouble.

But God has told me again and again to look to Him for my value. I am a sinful human, and sometimes I am so overcome with my wrongs and troubles that I forget to look to the One who created me to be beautiful on the inside. The song “Mirror” by BarlowGirl has helped me remember that although the world may see a strange, crazy girl, God sees my heart that has been washed clean by the blood of Jesus.

Luke 16:15 says, “He said to them, "You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight.” It is so easy to justify myself in the eyes of the world, but I remember that God knows my heart and loves me unconditionally.

When I am beaten down by those who do not respect me, I must remember that God knows my innermost being. 1 John 3:20, “…whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything.” My heart may condemn me, but God is greater than my sin and my sadness.

If you have ever had trouble comparing yourself to others or have wanted to be something that you know you are not, please listen. It is hard to overcome our minds which deceive and torture us with thoughts on our sin and our incapability to do anything, but God allows us to focus only on Him, ignoring the people who jeer and laugh at us for our beliefs. God is in front of us, and if we look at Him, we will never stumble.

Jesus was laughed, beaten, and jeered at in a much more horrible manner. Yet He endured it. We must follow His example of loving kindness even in times of trouble.

Job 11:15, “…then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear.”

Moving the Line

2010-03-02T14:16:00.000-08:00

Imagine with me that a man is about to start a race in which he has to run a short distance. His opponent is formidable, and he knows there is no way to win. So, he goes to where he is supposed to finish and picks up the paper line that marks the finish of the race and moves it three feet backwards.

What is my point in this silly story? Well, I relate it to our present society, and how easy it is to let our standards slide.

Imagine that you have made a promise not kiss a man outside of marriage. You start dating someone who does not have that same standard, and you fall deeply in love with this person. You know what you have decided in your heart, but somehow, an excuse works its way into your mind. Then one day, you kiss this person. In this situation, you have just moved your “line of conviction” back three steps. If you have no problem with moving it, then you will certainly move it again. Pretty soon you will be doing things that you told yourself you never would do outside of marriage.

Another example would be drugs and alcohol. You tell yourself that no one can tempt you, that no one can cause you to drink or do drugs. And then someone you know hands you a drink or a packet of drugs. You look at that person and think, “Well, they don’t look drunk or stupid. I guess it is okay.” Then you start going to parties, getting drunk on the weekends, and spending your savings on the drugs that you desire so much. This is another example of moving the line backwards. Although you had a standard set in your heart, it only took Satan’s excuses to set you on a road of addiction and pain.

Then there is the example of a person who does not know where their line stands. They try out dating without any real standards and experiment with drinking and drugs without firmly deciding that they are wrong. These people’s lines move constantly, going through spurts and phases. Although this person may eventually find the path of Life, they will make many mistakes in the process.

YOU MUST KNOW WHERE YOUR STANDARDS LIE. I cannot stress this enough! If you do not have specific convictions and a determination to keep them, then Satan will run all over you and your life will become something you never imagined.

Deuteronomy 8:11 says, “Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.” This verse stresses the fact that we must not forget God while we live our lives! Excuses can ruin even the best of men, making them believe that “just this once” is a worthy defense.

Standards must be set and carried out if you are to remain strong and unwavering in your faith. Moving the line is easy and must be avoided at all costs. Though it is hard, we must fight. Though excuses pervade our thoughts, we must ignore them and keep pressing forward in our Heavenly Father’s light.

Keep your standards where they are or move them forward, but never let them slide back to a place where you have ruined your life.

Be back soon!

2010-02-16T12:27:00.000-08:00

I am taking the next two weeks off for prayer, so that I can come back to you with more blogs... I am truly out of blog topics right now, and need a little vacation. Thank you for being faithful readers!

See you March 2nd...

Thoughts on Dating

2010-02-09T06:23:00.000-08:00

As Valentine’s Day approaches, it seems that more and more people are pairing off. As I looked back at my blog one day, I realized that I haven’t really said what I think about dating, marriage, etc. Please do not be offended…these are my personal views, and you have the right to agree or disagree with it.

1. Dating/Courtship

I am not going to date until college. This may seem crazy or impossible, but all I see in young relationships is heartbreak and impurity. I know there are some that are beautiful and pure, but I do not want to make a mistake so young. Also, it takes away from my thoughts on school and I just don’t think it is necessary to date at an age where you can’t get married. What’s the point?! The purpose of dating/courting is to lead up to marriage, and I will not date until I reach the age that I could (legally) get married. I also will date for several years, so that I do not rush into anything in blind love. Marriage is tested by the trials of courting, so that is why I will not date any less than a year.

When I do start dating, I will never be alone with him in an apartment, house, or dorm. This simply leads to a temptation that I want to avoid like the plague. It is a prudent choice that will help keep me from the sin of pre-marital sex. I also will not date a non-believer. I do not want to fall in love with a man that will not share my faith, and could drag me away from my God.

2. Marriage

I am saving my first kiss for my wedding day. Most people look at me in a surprised manner when I say this, but it is true. In my lifetime, I want to only kiss the one man I marry. I simply don’t want my lips tainted with the kisses of other men, but want my husband to know that I held out completely for him. This promise also holds that I will be pure as well. This choice comes from Hebrews 13:4 which commands all people to remain pure until marriage.

I am writing letters in a book, having started when I was fourteen, and I plan to make this part of the wedding ceremony. I will present it to my husband, showing him the inner depths of my heart and the many times in my life that I have prayed for him, whether I knew his name or not.

These are my thoughts on dating, and they may be slightly extreme, but I know that holding out for the man I will marry will forever be special and pure, causing no past issues with immorality to come between us. I do not know who God has in mind for me to marry, but I know that I can’t wait to meet him.

(I urge you to make your own outline of what your standards are for dating, so that you are not confronted with a question or problem that you are not prepared to accept or reject. Being prepared is always a good thing!)

Brainwashed?!

2010-02-02T09:29:00.000-08:00

Several people have told me or my parents that I am brainwashed by my parents’ views. This really makes me mad. Although I have been greatly influenced by my parents’ choices and decisions, I really CAN think for myself.

No, really.

My views are not copied from the same page that holds the views made by my parents. I have shaped and formed them through the fires of trial and mistakes. Yes they are similar, but I can think for myself, thank you very much.

My modesty standards are different than my mother’s. There is nothing wrong with hers, but I have decided for myself what I will and won’t wear, and she respects my decisions. Hers are neither higher nor lower than mine, simply different.

My thoughts on dating are also different than my mom and dad’s view used to be.
Although I have not gone into this view (just wait until next week…) I can promise you that it started out as something much different than it is now. God has opened my eyes to many things throughout the years, and I have changed with every lesson from Him.

Although several have said that I am not old enough to think and make decisions for myself, I can assure you that I am and I can. They may not always be the right decisions, but they are ones I can make all the same. I don’t understand how someone can say that I am not old enough to think for myself now (at sixteen), and yet the day I graduate I will somehow be old enough to make my own decisions. What magical transformation makes me more capable overnight?! If I don’t start trying out my beliefs before I turn eighteen, how will I ever be ready for the real world? The mistakes I can make now to learn a lesson will have consequences that are far less great than those I can make when I am older.

“I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw,” says Proverbs 24:32. I am not brainwashed, I simply have a very similar Christian worldview compared to that of my parents. I am not perfect by far, but neither am I stupid nor helpless. I lean on God for my worldview and my answers, and since my parents do as well, they become very similar.

I am not brainwashed. I am a student of Christ and a follower of my Lord.

In the Desert

2010-01-26T12:31:00.000-08:00

I often feel like I go through spurts in my Christianity. It might be through a time of intense prayer or closeness to God or the complete opposite.

This summer I went through a worshipful spurt. Every time the radio turned on or I went to church, I would close my eyes and feel like it was just me and God. I loved this phase…it grew my spirit immensely and allowed me to take steps toward God that I never could have imagined possible.

In October, I was greatly convicted that I needed to pray intensely about everything, no matter what it was. I would pray on my knees, head bowed every night before bed. Usually I prayed for a wide array of things, but sometimes I focused on one person or issue. I think my greatest weakness is my prayer life, and this time was a great lesson in the power and trust involved in prayer.

What stage am I in now, you ask? I currently am struggling a lot, not necessarily with any particular issues, but this time of year always gets me down. The holidays are over, and I am settled in for a long Colorado winter, where spring feels so far off. I am in the desert of my Christianity, and I must work hard to get out.

I am not clinically depressed, just sad and longing for warmth and light. My problem is that I don’t look to the light, but simply resign myself to the fact that it is gloomy winter instead of face the light.

What light? The light from Jesus’ face that radiates through all the seasons of my life. Not just the ones that are easy. God still loves me, even if I feel like He is so far away.

I think the song, “Tunnel” by Third Day truly sums up what I am living for:

“There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shinin' bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
So keep holdin' on

You've got your disappointments and sorrows
You ought to share the weight of that load with me
Then you will find that the light of tomorrow
Brings a new life for your eyes to see

So remember what I've told you
There's so much you're living for”

When I am going through a time of struggle or sadness, I always look to this song. When I am in the desert, God speaks to me through it and helps me to see that I will not always be where I am if I trust Him and work to leave my desert of loneliness.

God is at the end of my tunnel, and I am always going to strive to reach the light. 2 Chronicles 7:16 says, “I have chosen and consecrated this temple so that my Name may be there forever. My eyes and my heart will always be there.” God is always there, and He has chosen me.

That is what I will hang on to during my time in the desert. I am making my journey across it, however, and will soon be out of my struggle, because God’s light is at the end of my tunnel.

Just Think!

2010-01-19T20:33:00.000-08:00

Last week I got on Facebook and was utterly confused at what I saw. Most of my female friends had posted a status simply listing a one or two word color (for instance all the status would say was “pink”). I emailed a friend, asking what was going on, and she wrote back and told me that everyone was posting the color of their bra to promote breast cancer awareness.

My first reaction was to laugh, but the more I thought about it, the more it mortified me. I realized what these women and girls were doing was not right at all! I’m sure they did not mean any harm by it, but I was not at all pleased with what was going on.

What did they think all those men and boys were thinking about? All it was causing them to do was picture many (even Christian) women in their bras! How can this possibly be appropriate? Not only was it awkward and inappropriate, but it did absolutely nothing for breast cancer awareness! It did not donate money or anything toward trying to find a cure for cancer. It was a pointless, immature game to get women to reveal a personal secret.

And what about the married women? Did they think that their husbands wouldn’t care that something only they should know about was posted on the internet? How do you think that made them feel?

As you can probably see, I was furious. Instead of getting women out to do something about breast cancer, the creators of this game caused them to take part in something that could ultimately make men stumble. Men are visual creatures that cannot always help the thoughts that race through their heads when they see immodesty. The women that posted their bra colors were causing Christian men to stumble into a trap that could ultimately consume them. The path to pornography is easily followed, and much harder to escape.

1 Corinthians 10:32 says, “Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God.” This silly “game” meant to promote breast cancer awareness only caused millions of men to picture Christian women and teens in their bras. Instead of getting women to donate or share their experiences with cancer, they did nothing but speak of their bras in a public forum. I cannot believe what the men had to do to stay away from temptation and keep their thoughts pure.

Please, before you post, say, or wear anything in front of men, think about what the ramifications could ultimately be. Think about if it could lead men into sin, whether physical or mental.

Please, just think.

"But I don't..."

2010-01-12T08:17:00.000-08:00

It is always nice to have a reputation that people recognize. Especially when it is regarding something good about you. One must be careful, though, that you don’t get a bad reputation. Most people would define a bad reputation as one that is full of immorality or a bad attitude. I, however, am not immoral and do not have a bad
attitude (well, only sometimes…), and yet I have a bad reputation.

What is it you ask? I have a reputation for all of the things that I don’t do.
Although this is not a bad thing in and of itself, I would much rather be known for the things that I do. I hear all the time about the things that I don’t do such as go to parties, date, have a boyfriend, read Twilight, watch (many) movies, complain about my parents, and talk about boys. I would rather people thought of me as a good babysitter, dancer, writer, worker, and Christian.

How do you get out of this kind of bad reputation, though? Perhaps you must actually do something! As I sit on the couch writing this, I wonder what would happen if I actually lived it. It is so easy to write what I want people to hear, but not listen to it myself. Easy to say, not so easy to do. I want to practice what I preach and get out there and do something amazing! I do not want to do it for me and my reputation, but for God. My generation has the chance to change the way people feel about teenagers. When the word “teen” is brought up, it is usually accompanied with groans and knowing looks. That is not the way I want to be thought of! I don’t want the word teen to taint my reputation just because I’m sixteen years old.

So, I’m on a mission to change the world. Yes, you might think I’m an overachiever, and perhaps I am. But I don’t care. I want to be known because of the things I do for God! Not the things that I DON’T do because I am a Christian! 1 Timothy 4:12 says, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.” I can set an example by the things I do!

It is hard for me not to get this reputation because there are so many things I don’t do, but I want to be known most of all for being a follower of Jesus. It does not matter to me what else I am known for as long as my love for Jesus outshines it all.

1 Corinthians 8:3 says, “But the man who loves God is known by God.” It is not at all important that I am known for things on this earth as long as I am known by God. So, instead of changing my image on earth, I will change my image in God’s eyes. Ultimately, all that matters is where my trust lays, and mine is with Jesus Christ. I still want to do great things and change the world, but I am not worried about what others think about me.

What does God think about you and your reputation?

Richly Blessed

2010-01-05T15:00:00.000-08:00

Today is my 16th birthday. Over the past week, I have had more surprises and loving gifts than I have ever had before.

On New Year’s Eve, we were over at a friend’s house, playing games, eating food, and just hanging out. My dear cousin Hana called me on the phone and we began catching up on each other’s lives. I heard the door open behind me, and there stood my cousin. My parents knew that she was what I wanted to have more than any present for my birthday. We ran and hugged each other and I (of course) started bawling.

I am richly blessed.

January 2nd, I prepared to go to work. I didn’t want to go, because I wanted to stay with Hana, but I knew I had no choice. Little did I know how clueless I was! Dad picked me up from work, rushing me a little because we were “going to a movie”. I got home and walked in the door, almost throwing my iced tea, when 45 of my dearest friends and family shouted “Surprise!” My house was decorated in a Hawaiian theme (my favorite) and a beautiful cake with butter-cream frosting lay waiting to be eaten. My parents had planned a huge blessing party for me filled with prayer, love, and friendship.

I am richly blessed.

After my heart stopped racing from the surprise and love that filled the room, my dad led me to a seat in the center of the room. Then, my family and friends gave me verses, memories, and thanks for being myself, my personality, and my trust in God. I could hardly keep from crying at the overwhelming love that I felt.

I am richly blessed.

Then on Monday, I had to leave Hana at the airport, because it was time for her to go. I was absolutely sobbing when she left, and had a hard time keeping myself calm (I failed miserably). I was crying so much, that a security guard stopped me and asked if I was okay and then proceeded to make jokes to try and cheer me up. I realized that Hana’s and my friendship is so deep and so full of love that it could only have come from God. I am so glad to be her friend.

I am richly blessed.

So through all these blessings and surprises, I have learned to not take for granted the fact that I have many friends who love and appreciate me for who I am. Through all this I have said:

I am richly blessed.

Another Layer, Another Lesson

2009-12-29T07:58:00.000-08:00

As the beginning of a new year rolls around, I often contemplate what I have learned over the past year. Most of the time, I find that God has shown me many things and I have either chosen to learn them or ignore them.

While my family was driving home from church this week, I was looking at the road which was becoming quite rough and had many potholes. Now, this road had been fixed two years ago, and I was surprised that it was already so bad. I then began thinking about how the road is often like my spiritual connection with God. I begin in a state that I believe is perfect, and yet God wears down the layers of sin that still coat my life. It may make my road a little bumpier, but in the end it is all for good. Like the cars that have worn down the road near my house, God has worn away the layers of evil that I have failed to recognize.

Through all this “wearing away”, God teaches me lessons in trust and prayer. All lessons revert back to the Bible, and I can choose whether or not I want to accept this lesson from God. Sadly, I do still ignore a great many teachings from Him, because I am scared of what they will do to my life. And yet, when I take a big step in God’s direction, He rewards me with a strengthened relationship with Him.

So what have I learned this year? I have learned:

-A- How to work hard.

My job has taught me more about a strong work ethic than anything else ever has. Working in a place where everyone is in a different mood has helped me come out of my shy shell every now and then and be a friendly, smiling employee. I am so thankful for my job, and hope to continue there through college.

-B- To have God’s joy!

I think one of the most important things I have learned this year is to find joy in every situation. Although I do not always succeed, I know that God’s joy radiates through the happy and sad. Smiling most definitely comes from God, and I aim to use this gift often! Like my sweet cousin Esther, I want to laugh and smile through everything.

-C- To trust Him in everything.

Through the many good times this year, bad times have been lightly sprinkled. Throughout these times I have questioned God and wondered when He will come through for me, and every time I am reverted back to the Bible and its many answers. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…” Proverbs 3:5, has become my rock that I cling to.

-D- To pray through all.

When 2009 began, my prayer life was practically non-existent. It was not because of the lack of time I had, rather it was because I chose not to pray. I decided to remedy that, and I have found strength through my newfound prayer life. I have a long list on my desk, and I every time I think to pray, I look at that list and ask God to fulfill that person with His all-consuming love. This has been a very good technique, and I have loved growing even closer to God.
This year has been one filled with joy and God’s light, and I am so thankful to be beginning another year where God will teach me even more! I look forward to His lessons, and am thankful that He is slowly wearing away the layers of sin that once engulfed me.

May your new year be filled with happiness and God’s presence!

Psalm 25:5, “Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour, and my hope is in you all day long!”

The Journey to Bethlehem - Part 4

2009-12-22T07:44:00.000-08:00

(The final week of the Christmas story from Mary’s perspective. Merry Christmas!)

The pain gripped me with such force that a small sob escaped my lips. Joseph had settled me onto a bed made of straw, and was watching me with wide eyes. I knew I had to be brave for his sake. The terror in his eyes was evident, and I did not want the birth of a child we would raise together to be a bad experience.

After breathing through the pain for several hours, I knew the time had come. God’s Son would be born tonight, in a stable filled with animals and dirt. As the baby’s head appeared, the pain could not keep the joy off my face. Although I had feared this day for nine months, I no longer felt inept. Having attended many births in Nazareth helped. I knew what to expect, but the miracle of life was even more amazing when it was my own child being born.

“Joseph! He’s almost here!” I cried in excitement. Joseph ran to my side, grabbed my hands and offered his support while I brought Jesus into the world. An infant’s cry pierced the silent night and I looked up to see Joseph holding the baby. The wonder and love in his eyes made me weep with joy and I thought back to the miraculous events that had led up to the birth of Jesus.

Joseph handed the child to me, and I could see tears trickling down his cheeks.
Never had I known my husband to weep! His happiness was evident to me, and I, too wept when I looked at my child’s perfect face and body. I tore linens into strips and swaddled him. Bringing him close to my heart I whispered, “Jesus, you are born this night into a world filled with darkness. Yet you have brought light!”

At that very moment, a light pierced the surrounding darkness. Looking through the slats of the stable, I saw a star, brighter than all the rest twinkling in the heavens. I laid my baby in the manger, an inadequate bed for the Son of Adonai, yet felt a peace when I watched the face of my newborn slowly drift off into sleep.

A knock outside shattered my reverie, and Joseph got up to see who came. Three finely dressed men walked in carrying gifts for the baby. The baby! How had they known? A laugh bubbled softly within me. Most likely because of their faith in a coming Messiah, of course!

Another knock led a bewildered Joseph to let in several shepherds who had heard from the angels that the Messiah had just been born. As I watched the grown men gaze upon my beautiful baby, I knew that this was the happiest night of my life. Although I was not sure I would be a good mother, I had no doubt that I loved my baby more than words could express.

After our evening guests had left, I watched Joseph pick up Jesus with a tenderness I did not know he possessed.

“Mary, he’s beautiful,” Joseph whispered, tears threatening to spill over once more. I nodded and placed my hand on his. He looked at me with more love then I had ever seen before, and I knew that he would be a good father.

Jesus was brought into the world that night to a poor family of Nazareth, and yet I knew that God had special plans for him, plans that would make him more special than anyone else on earth. God chose me, a young girl, to mature into a woman so that He could fulfill a mighty work: the birth of His Son.

That night would live in a special place in my heart, and no one could ever take away the joy I felt at bringing that small babe into the world.

The Journey to Bethlehem - Part 3

2009-12-15T07:43:00.000-08:00

(Continued from last week – Mary’s Perspective.)

We’ve been traveling for over two months and I am exhausted. I can tell that Joseph is, too. I can’t believe he has walked this whole way, letting me ride the donkey! I can’t imagine how exhausted he must be.

I am nearly nine months pregnant, now. I can’t believe how quickly it has gone! Although it has been difficult, I cannot wait to bring this babe into the world.

With this excitement comes fear, though. I am so afraid of the pain of childbirth, but I cannot let my fear get in the way of God’s will. My mother’s instructions relieve some of my trepidation, but I still can think of nothing else.
Joseph has been kind to me, letting me stop as often as I need to stretch my legs. The long months on the road have put so much stress on him, and yet he has never lost his temper or been rude to me. I truly have found a gem for a husband.

Early this morning we reached Bethlehem! It seems like so long since we have seen other people and eaten real food! After many months of eating the same foods, we will finally taste fresh fruits and vegetables! I have been craving something other than the salted meat and dry bread that has made up our meals for so long.

I climbed off the donkey and shook my legs, excited to see my husband’s birthplace.
A catch in my back kept me from straightening for a moment, and Joseph looked down at me in concern.

“I’m all right, Joseph. Just tired and sore!” I said. Joseph sighed with relief, and tied the donkey to a tree. Then he grabbed my arm to support me and we began walking through the town. Every now and then, Joseph would point out something that he remembered, and even tell stories about his childhood.

It was then that I realized how little I knew about my husband. Although we’d known each other for ten years, I never thought to ask him many questions. To do so would be inappropriate, but now that we are married, such questions are not unseemly! The rest of the day we took turns asking each other questions, and I learned much about my sweet husband.

On the way back into town, my back pain began getting worse and worse. Joseph once again glanced at me in concern, but this time I could not reassure him.

“Mary! What is happening? What is wrong?” Joseph asked. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, but I could not deny the fact that my labor pains had begun.

“Joseph, please go find us a place to stay. I think the baby is coming!” Joseph looked at me in horror, and began running toward the nearest inn. But then he quickly ran back out again. I was in terrible pain, and I did not know what Joseph was doing. He had been in four inns already!

“Mary, there is no room for us! The only place available is this farmer’s stable. I’m so sorry!” Joseph gasped, out of breath from worry.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. The son of God would be born in a dirty stable. And it would happen tonight.

The Journey to Bethlehem - Part 2

2009-12-08T09:56:00.000-08:00

(Continued from last week… Mary’s Perspective. Part Two in a four-part series.)

I was six months pregnant when it happened. I was walking down the street, on the way to my dear friend Maya’s house, when Joseph ran from his house in my direction!
He had not spoken with me since the day I told him that I was pregnant. I was very surprised, and even more so when he started calling my name!

“Yes? Is something wrong?” I asked. Joseph shook his head no, and then motioned me into his house. I stepped in, my legs shaking with fear, but Joseph quelled my fright with one loving look.

“Mary! An angel of the Lord appeared to me in a dream last night, and I believe your story! The son you will bear truly is the son of the Holy Spirit,” Joseph said calmly.

I broke into tears of relief. Finally, someone believed my story! Then questions flooded my mind. Would he take me back as his wife? Would he support the child that was growing within me?

“Joseph, what can this mean for us?” It may not have been a very proper question for a girl to ask, but I had to know. Joseph slowly reached for my hand, covering it in his scabbed, carpenter’s hands, and smiled at me. I knew that no longer would I have to worry for the baby. He would have a home and a father!

I gave Joseph one last grateful look, then walked out of his house with more joy that I had experienced in many months. So great was my relief, that I almost forgot that I was on my way to Maya’s house. With one hand on my stomach, I proceeded on my journey. I had not seen Maya since the day I saw the angel, but I knew that she surely would know of my pregnancy by now.

I was right. When I knocked on the door, Maya answered it, all the color draining from her face when she saw me.

“Hello, Maya! I have not seen you in many months! How are you, my friend?” I asked cheerfully. Maya just shook her head and began to close the door. Having received this response from several people since my shocking announcement, I knew I had to stop her. I put one hand on the door and met Maya’s cold eyes.

“Why are you shutting me out?” I asked tearfully. Maya motioned me inside with a sigh, and proceeded to tell me what her grievance was.

“I should not be talking to you. You are pregnant outside of marriage. How could you do such a thing? My father has told me to stay as far away from you because or your choices!” Maya yelled loudly.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I ran to Maya to give her a hug. She pushed me away, as tears began rolling down her cheeks.

“I used to know you, Mary, but now I cannot be your friend. Please leave my house,” Maya said coldly. I had no choice but to let myself out. All the joy from Joseph’s acceptance of me was gone. I had no one who believed me except my betrothed. The rejection from so many of my past friends overwhelmed me, but I did not let it show.

As I made my way back to my home, I heard the pounding of horses’ hooves. Seven horses with Roman soldiers came barreling into Nazareth. I had to run out of the way, for fear of being trampled! What could their hurry be?

“I have a message from Caesar Augustus! All people must journey back to their homeland and attend a census there! You must leave in enough time to complete this journey!” a soldier cried and then galloped off to the next town.

I gasped when I realized what this could mean. A tap on my shoulder made me turn around too quickly and I bumped into Joseph.

“Mary, as my betrothed, you must journey with me to my homeland. We must go to Bethlehem,” Joseph said solemnly. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, nervous and excited. I nodded my head, and made plans with Joseph to leave in a week’s time.

I walked home quickly, making a mental list of all the things that had to be done. I then realized that my baby would not be born in my quiet, safe little town. It would be born in Bethlehem! This realization scared me, but I knew that I was in God’s hands. It was His child, and He would make sure it was born safely.

That week was spent packing up all of the provisions and clothing needed for the trip. My mother who had not hardly spoken with me since I became pregnant sat me down and told me all the steps that I would go through when I was in labor. Although the thought terrified me, it was good to have a woman’s perspective on what was going to happen.

Early in the morning, Joseph helped me onto a donkey, and loaded all the provisions as well. Goodbyes were said, and we set out on our journey.

The journey to Bethlehem, where the son of God would be born.

The Journey to Bethlehem - Part 1

2009-12-02T13:51:00.000-08:00

As we get ready to celebrate Christmas, it is always good to stop and remember the true meaning of Christmas. It’s easy to get caught up in the shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning, and typical hustle and bustle that comes with December 25th. So, to commemorate the birth of my Lord, I will be writing a four week series, retelling the events that led up to the birth of Jesus from how I believe Mary would have felt. This does have basis from Luke 2 and Matthew 1, but I have fictionalized it greatly to tell the story in a more personal way. Have a very Merry Christmas!

(From Mary’s Perspective)

I grabbed the pitcher and began making the half mile trek to the well. It seemed we were always in need of water on the hottest days! I did not like walking in the heat, but I tried to be cheerful about it all the same. My friend Maya came out of her house as I passed and offered to walk with me to the well. I denied her offer, knowing she was doing it to be nice. She nodded her head goodbye, and I carried on
with my task.

As I reached the well, I found it odd that no one was around. Typically, there were several mothers with children drawing the water for their families. I thought no more of it, however, and dipped my jar into the full well. As I drew it out, I had a strange sensation that someone was near. I turned around and dropped my pitcher to the ground in fright. An angel stood before me, smiling!

“Do not be afraid, Mary, for I have great news! You are to bear a son and he shall be called Immanuel, God with us,” the angel Gabriel said. I was so frightened, and many thoughts were racing through my already confused mind. Yes, I was engaged to a man named Joseph, but I was still a virgin! What could the angel mean?

“How can this be? For I am a virgin!” I cried. The angel smiled and told me that I would become pregnant by the Holy Spirit. I was calmed, somewhat, and then Gabriel was gone. I took a deep breath to steady myself, now thinking of how I would tell Joseph and my family. Babies born out of wedlock were terribly mistreated, and the mothers condemned to death in some cases.

I drew more water from the well, and started home, dreading what was to come. Although I was terrified, a wonderful peace settled around me. I was to bear the Son of God! How could this be? I was not a particularly perfect girl, nor did I seem special in any way. I was just Mary, betrothed to Joseph in a small town called Nazareth. Yet God had chosen me, and I felt so very special because of it.

I had finally reached my home, and knew that I needed to tell my family as quickly as possible. I set the jar of water down, and sent a quick prayer for strength up to God. I walked into my house, and saw that both my parents were in the kitchen talking quietly. And there in the corner, was Joseph! God had obviously arranged this gathering, and I was to tell them my news at that very moment.

“Father, Mother, Joseph,” I whispered, scared nearly to death. “I must tell you something.” They all looked at me with worry written across their faces, and I knew this would not be easy. I took a deep breath and began again, “As I walked to the well today, an angel of the Lord appeared to me! It was most wonderful, and he said that I am to become pregnant and bear the Son of God!” From the looks on their faces, I knew they thought I was crazy.

“How could you! What a lie you have told! How could you betray your betrothed and become pregnant by another man? What a wicked girl you are,” my father yelled. Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I realized that my family would not accept my explanation. Both were God-fearing people, but such a thing was unheard of. I bowed my head meekly, accepting his criticism, although not agreeing with it. My mother ran from the room, sobbing angrily.

At that moment, I felt the hand of God comforting me and telling me to trust Him. Joseph looked me in the eye and I could see the heartbreak and betrayal that he thought I was doing to him. Then Joseph said, “Mary, I don’t know why you would betray me like this, and I should have you stoned. It is not against the law to murder an adulteress, and if I had the mind to do it, I would. But I think I would rather divorce you in quiet so that you are not hurt.”

I could contain it no longer, and began weeping with a broken heart. My father sternly told me to leave until I could regain my composure, and I ran outside and all the way to the well. I looked around thinking of all the things that were happening because of the baby growing inside me. I did not know how I would deal with it! Overcome with emotion and sadness, I threw myself to the ground, sobbing like I never had before. Then I remembered that God had chosen me, a poor young girl to bear His son. The tears stopped flowing as I raised my hands to the heavens, crying out to God.

Then I made this commitment: “I will bear this child, O Lord! I will bear him for you!”

Giving Thanks

2009-11-24T09:27:00.000-08:00

It is the season to be grateful, and I have so many things to be thankful for! Remember on Thanksgiving that you have been blessed with so many things that you take for granted. Don’t let anything slip by you unnoticed! Recognize every blessing and give thanks for it.

Five Things I am Thankful for:

1. My Faith
You have no idea how much my Lord Jesus means to me! Without Him, I would be lost and sad most of the time. Jesus is my Savior, and He guides me every step of the way. Without His forgiveness and purpose, I would be a meaningless mess, but because He has a divine purpose for my life, I am no longer afraid.

2. My Family
Without my family, I would be so very lonely! Dad: Thank you for working so hard to fulfill my needs, and for being an example of Godly love! Mom: Thank you for always being ready to listen. Whether I need advice or just to vent, I am so grateful for you! Noah: Thank you for being such a fun brother. I love you so much, and want to be your best friend forever! Lexi: I have so much fun playing dress up and dolls with you. Let’s keep our relationship strong!

3. Dance
There are so many things that could prevent me from dancing, but God has allowed me to keep worshiping Him through dance. I love all my teachers and thank them for helping me grow in my technique and strength. May I always dance for God, and not let my focus be shifted from Him!

4. My job
I love my job, even if it is sometimes hard. The values and lessons I have learned through it have taught me so much. I have learned how to be a gracious, smiling server, even when the grumpiest of people comes my way. Thank you, Lord, for my job!

5. Being Homeschooled
What a blessing it is to be able to escape all the influences and distractions that teens face at public school. Not only can I go my own pace and learn everything well, but I can use curricula that gives God credit for being the Creator of the universe. Thank you, Jesus, for this opportunity!

I give God the glory for all of my blessings, and want to love and serve Him all of my days. What are you thankful for?

I, Judas

2009-11-17T10:12:00.000-08:00

I have always disliked the story of Judas Iscariot in the Bible. Judas started out as a close follower of Christ, but in the end betrayed Jesus into the hands of an angry mob who crucified God’s son on the cross. Jesus lost His life and spent three days in Hell because Judas wanted thirty pieces of silver. Judas, overcome by guilt, hanged himself. This story is depressing and leaves no hope for Judas Iscariot in the end.

There are many characters in the Bible who choose money over good intentions. Ananias and Saphira are another example of people who choose money over truth and life. They, however, were not overcome with guilt, but were struck down by God because of their lying, greedy ways.

It occurred to me several Sundays ago while worshiping that I am no better than Judas, Ananias, or Saphira. Every time I choose my ways over God’s ways, I am betraying Jesus. I am a traitor and a liar, and I deserve the same ends that Ananias, Saphira, and Judas met. Why has God allowed me to live when I should be struck down for my evil ways? Why has God given me grace?

The answer comes in the name of Jesus Christ. Because I have repented of my many sins and chosen to place my hope in Jesus, my sins are forgiven, and I am given eternal life. Jesus provides the only lasting hope in this world, and it can be obtained by everyone. God gives hope to all who choose to believe and live their lives according to His ways.

Deuteronomy 30: 19-20 says, “Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him.” Choosing God means choosing life! I do not want to be like Judas and let myself be overcome by evil. Judas chose suicide instead of redemption. Although what he did was of the utmost evil, God would have forgiven and washed him clean if he had chosen to repent. Instead, Judas ended his own life out of grief and guilt without accepting God’s redeeming love.

Judas may have chosen death, but I have chosen life in Jesus. Instead of letting my sins overcome me, I have let Jesus take them away. Because God sent His only son to die on the cross, my sins can be washed away and I can have eternal life in heaven with the other believers who have chosen the free gift of life.

Although I started out like Judas, I have been redeemed. I, Judas, was a traitor and a liar. I, Judas, sinned often. I, Judas, betrayed my Lord every time I chose the world’s ways over God’s ways. I, Judas, have chosen God’s ways. I, Judas, will be given a new name when I reach my heavenly reward. I, Judas, no longer bend to the world’s ways. Although I still stumble, I am covered by God’s love.

Five Things I Have Learned (while working at a fast food restaurant!)

2009-11-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

In May, I interviewed twice for a job at a Christian fast food restaurant. I was in need of a job, and this seemed like a perfect situation. God blessed me with the job, and I have enjoyed it immensely. Throughout this new experience, I have learned many things; some good, some bad.

#1 – Parent’s with Children

Mom’s and Dad’s with Children are very appreciative when you carry their food to their table. This is a rule at my company, and I have gotten much gratitude from overwhelmed parents because of it. When a mom walks in with children, we automatically tell them that they can take a seat and we will bring it to their table. I have even been asked by one dad if I would watch his kids for a few minutes while he went back to the car to look for his wallet!

#2 – Efforts of the Customers

I have encountered many cranky, cantankerous customers, and I certainly can’t wait until I no longer have to deal with them. Every now and then, however, a customer will make a point to call me by name and ask how I am doing. It doesn’t matter if they know me or not, they just know that I make an effort to be cheerful and welcoming, so they try to reciprocate the feeling. It makes my day when someone makes a point to ask how I am doing… Most people tend to want to get through ordering right away, instead of be polite and friendly.

#3 – Two Different Attitudes

There are two kinds of people that come to my register: those who are impatient and difficult, and those who are the exact opposite. I love dealing with customers who are polite, but I dread dealing with someone who is impatient. I try to be sweet and calm with everyone, but let me tell you, it is NOT always easy! I am not the fastest employee (although I do try), and I have had many people ask me what the holdup is with their order. I had one lady tell me to make her ice cream “faster next time!” I always feel terrible after encounters like this, and make sure to do better. It is obvious that people either choose to be patient and willing to wait, or demanding and unreasonable. It’s no wonder why people can be so cranky!

#4 – Messed Up Orders

I have been known on occasion to mess orders up. I do not do it on purpose, and it is not always my fault, but it has been known to happen. My company’s policy is to assume that the customer is always right, even when it is obvious that they are not. One day, I messed up a lady’s order and she asked to speak with the manager. I was extremely anxious, but my manager came over to me, explained the situation, and asked for my side of the story. Thankfully, I did not get into any trouble (it wasn’t even my fault), but the lady was extremely angry with me. Several weeks ago, another woman’s order got overlooked, and she waited around for ten minutes. I finally looked up and realized that she had not gotten her food. I went over to her and apologized profusely, afraid that she would be very angry, and she just looked at me and said, “It’s alright, honey! I’m not going to bite you! I’ll be coming back again, don’t you worry.” I was extremely grateful, and finally made her order right, but I was absolutely thrilled that she was not angry. It is very difficult to work with upset customers, but patient customers are truly a blessing!

#5 – Hard Work Pays Off

I love my job, and dearly want to keep it through college, so I have made a point to always work hard. Several of my managers have complimented me on always keeping busy, and I have maintained a perfect change count since I have worked there. The owner and operator of my store once told me I was amazing. Because I have dedicated myself to working hard and not being lazy, God has blessed me. I am not afraid of being fired, because I know my managers and operator appreciate my work. When a manager corrects me, I take it to heart and make an earnest effort to fix it, instead of ignore it.

I have learned so much through my job, and look forward to working because of the environment and opportunities to do great things for God. Although it can sometimes be difficult, I enjoy the new experiences and challenges that it brings.

Long Lasting Joy

2009-10-27T16:01:00.001-07:00

I have been contemplating a lot lately why the teenage generation is never happy. It seems that no iPod, television show, or clothing item is ever good enough, so they keep buying more and more stuff. It also seems like a typical teen’s time is often spent playing video games, reading the latest books, and watching television. So why is my generation so unhappy? We have all the modern conveniences, but still are not satisfied!

Then I realized that it is because the things they are filling their lives with only make them happy for a short time. Material possessions and wasted time are not going to fill the hole that eats them up inside. I don’t know why they think buying more stuff is going to make them feel better about themselves, but I know that it will only last a short time.

I also realized that happiness is only temporary. However, God’s joy is eternal. I have blogged before about my cousin Esther, and how much joy she brings to my aunt and uncle. The joy Esther has is because she now has parents who love her and are bringing her up in God’s light. This is the kind of joy that will last forever, because it is of God.

I know from personal experience that the afterglow of a good book, movie, or conversation only lasts for a little while before it fades into the forgotten. I wish I could capture my favorite moments in time and bottle them up to save forever, but the only way to do that is to allow God’s joy to penetrate everything.

One of the most joyful people I have ever met obviously has let the joy of God fill her life. Her husband died almost a year ago of ALS, and she has six children to take care of all by herself. I have never heard her complain, however, even though her life has been made immeasurably hard. She lets the joy of heaven seep into every crack of her life, and chooses to see the positive side of things rather than the depressing aspects that life has thrown at her.

It is very hard for me to choose to be positive all the time because I am not an overly cheerful person. I’m not saying I’m negative or cranky (well, sometimes), but I am definitely not a perpetually smiling person. This is definitely something I need to work on. I don’t really know how to be joyful all the time, but I am learning.

The Bible has lots to say on joyfulness, but one of my favorites is Psalm 5:11: But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them; that those who love your name may rejoice in you.” Because I love Jesus and am saved by His death on the cross, I have joy inside me. I don’t have to ever be sad or worried, because His joy overshadows my life.

I know how hard it is to stay positive all the time, but that is definitely something my generation needs to work on. There is a hole inside each of us that begs to be filled with something. You may choose to fill it with electronics or clothes, but Jesus is the only thing that will fulfill you completely. Choose to be content with what you have so that you may radiate the joy of Christ in everything you do. Although happiness lasts only moments, God’s joy will last forever.

Mighty Things through Willing People

2009-10-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

If you have ever read the story of David and Goliath, you know that David defeats Goliath in the end with only a stone and a slingshot. But what is not focused on, is that David had three older brothers named Eliab, Aminadab, and Shammah. Even though there were three older men, God chose David to be his servant, so that the Israelites and Philistines could see that mighty things can be done through those who are willing to do them.

But what about David’s brothers? 1 Samuel 17:8-11 says, “Goliath stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, "Why do you come out and line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not the servants of Saul? Choose a man and have him come down to me. 9 If he is able to fight and kill me, we will become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will become our subjects and serve us." 10 Then the Philistine said, "This day I defy the ranks of Israel! Give me a man and let us fight each other." 11 On hearing the Philistine's words, Saul and all the Israelites were dismayed and terrified.”

The last sentence is what I really want to focus on. It says that Saul, the King of Israel and all the people of Israel were terrified! Yes, Goliath was big, and yes the challenge seemed insurmountable, but isn’t God capable of overcoming anything? It reminds me of the song I used to sing when I was very little, “My God is so big, so strong and so mighty. There’s nothing my God cannot do!” Apparently the Israelites were not so keen on the idea that God might want to use them to defeat the giant.

This got me to thinking about which I am: a willing person like David or an untrusting, fearful person like the rest of the Israelites? I hope I am a willing servant of God, but I know I have a hard time trusting God to take my life into His hands. I have a problem with letting go of my control over my life, and it is not something I am proud of. Somehow I have convinced myself that my life is in my control, when it was in God’s hands in the first place. God created me and watches over me, and yet I still will not relinquish my hold on my life.

When I finally let God take my life into His control, I feel wonderful and free. Until something out of the ordinary happens that I do not like. Then I backpedal on my promise to God and take my future back into my own hands. This leaves me a coward, which is not something I strive to be.

It is so hard to give God control over everything in my life, even though I am so terrible at controlling my own life. I am not wise nor do I have the experience to keep my life on the right track, yet I am so sure that I am better at being in control.

The people of Israel are just like me. They were unwilling to do the difficult and more terrifying things, so they chose not to allow God to do amazing things through them. I most certainly do not want to be like the people of Israel. I do not want God to see me as a coward who does not trust Him enough to let Him work a miracle through me. I want to be like David: A willing servant of God.

Goliath was killed with a single stone and slingshot by a man who had barely grown out of childhood, all because that man trusted God enough to let Him work a mighty miracle through him. If I am to be like David, I will have to give up my grasp on what I think is better. God is God and I am not, so I best listen to him over my own ideas. Although it is not easy to give up control, it is what God wants me to do. God will be able to do powerful things through me, but only if I trust Him completely.

Sources of Hope

2009-10-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

A little less than a year ago, a man was elected to be president of the United States because he promised to bring hope and peace to a nation that was hurting and becoming chaotic. This man soothed many people’s fears by promising to do the impossible and restore order in a hurry. This man, Barack Obama, has not brought hope to the world, and many are now disappointed in him.

I find it interesting that people can so easily put their faith in a man who is no more capable of restoring order to a quickly deteriorating culture than they, themselves are. Why should we trust any human being when we know they are no more proficient than ourselves?

As a Christian, my faith has been tested by the inauguration of a president who I oppose completely. The decisions he has made have not lined up with God’s word, and are not restoring order. I have asked God in my prayers why he would put such a man into office. But then I remember. I am not putting my hope in a mortal, I am putting it in God Almighty.

I know God has put President Obama in a position of power for a reason, whether or not I think it is a good idea. God is in control, and I can put my hope in Him, alone. Although I do not know why God would let a man make the decision to fund abortions overseas with taxpayer’s money, I know there is a reason.

I have a hard time respecting President Obama because of the decisions he’s made. Just last week, he won the Nobel Peace Prize, even though he has not done anything amazing or peaceful. If the millions of babies aborted each year could vote, do you think they would vote for a man who has furthered the murder of innocent babies? I highly doubt it. President Obama did not deserve the Nobel, but he accepted it anyway.

It is things like this that make me angry and upset. How could he accept such a high honor, even though he has not done anything remarkable besides become president? How he could he be so prideful?

And then I stumbled upon this verse: “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God,” Romans 13:1. Once more, God brings me back to the fact that HE has placed President Obama in a position of power! God does have a reason, even if I don’t see it yet.

Psalm 25:5 is an excellent verse about hope: “Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.” This verse also points me back to God, for my hope is in HIM! I no longer have to be discouraged because of the leaders that are governing America… I am not trusting them to rule my country, I am trusting God, the Savior of the world to guide and lead me!

Although I have strayed from my typical blogs about standing up for what is right and being different, this is a topic that has been heavy on my heart. Remember to put your hope in God, and not in this world.

Psalm 42:11, “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my SAVIOR and my GOD!”

Breaking the Barrier

2009-10-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

Lately I’ve been noticing that there is a wall that keeps teens from overcoming different things such as low expectations, pre-marital sex, and the downhill slide of our culture. This seems to be a very prominent problem that no one seems to want to change.

How come there is a barrier that is restricting teens today? Who put that in place, and why aren’t people trying to overcome it? I think it is the teens that allowed this wall to be built. This barrier gives teens an excuse to not work hard and do big things.

I kind of feel like Marlin and Dory from “Finding Nemo.” In the middle of the movie, Dory and Marlin have to break through the “EAC” (East Australian Current) in order to continue on their quest. The EAC is a current of turtles all swimming in the same direction at high speeds. Dory and Marlin have to jump off a sea turtle’s back in order to get outside the current. As soon as they have accomplished this, Marlin and Dory sit there watching the current go by.

I feel like I have just jumped off the turtle’s back and am waiting outside the current for everyone else to follow. I sit there waiting and waiting, but no one will join me. There is always one who jumps outside the current, but then quickly dives back in when things get uncomfortable.

I daily have to make the choice to go against the cultural norm to be different, and it is not easy. It is sometimes a very lonely decision, unless you are fully relying on God. You can make the decision to be different, but it won’t make a difference unless you are being different for Christ! That is a critical element to not being lonely.

I have broken the barrier of low expectations in several different ways. First of all, I am homeschooled. That automatically makes me different. I value family time above all activities, and my mom is my best friend. I would much rather be best friends with my mom than a peer, because she can provide comfort and wisdom. Being friends with peers is not a bad thing, but it is easy to be pulled into things by those who are no wiser than you.

I also choose to keep my body as pure as possible. Whether it is choosing not to curse or use mild profanities or going to the point where I am saving even my first kiss for my wedding day, people often look at me and think I am STRANGE. I’m pretty accustomed to being thought of as “weird”, and it doesn’t really bother me anymore. In a culture where sex, drugs, and profanity is rampant, I am definitely breaking the barrier.

My country is being held captive by low expectations, and I am determined not to let it ensnare me. I am willing to work as hard as possible to reverse the idea that teens are not capable of working hard or being young adults. A “teen” is really just an overgrown child.

When someone calls me a “teen”, I say, “No, I am a young adult.” I am determined not to let my age get in the way of my abilities. Just because I am in between the ages of 13-18, does not mean I have to sink to that level! I can be excellent in all my work, whether hugely important or something small like keeping my room clean.

Please understand that because someone calls you a teen does not mean that you have to act like it. Our generation needs to raise the expectations of our world so that we can make a difference for God in everything we do. Make the decision to break the barrier of low expectations so that you can do great things for Jesus now, without having to wait until you are an adult. God does not care if you are 14 or 65…He created you to do big things now.

The Battle Against Complacency

2009-09-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago, the pastor at my church talked about not settling for “good”, and deciding to strive for “excellence”. This is an issue that God has put upon my heart, and I now realize how often I stoop to this worldly concept.

When I was still in public school, I could easily make A’s by exerting as little effort as possible. I never had to study very hard, and I never learned what hard work really was. Thankfully, when we started homeschooling, my mom broke me of that dangerous habit. She realized that I was not being excellent in all my work, so she began to change the way I looked at my schoolwork. I am not saying that I am perfect now in that respect, but I do think that I am much better than I used to be. I no longer say, “How can I get away with as little work as possible and still make a good grade?” Instead, I think to myself, “How can I do this in a manner that is pleasing to God? How can I do this excellently?” My mom is not afraid to tell me when she can tell that I have been slacking, and I am so grateful for it. I do not want to grow up to find that I know nothing about working hard.

Why am I so worried about this topic? Because our world has become complacent. If I am to change the world, than I must not be complacent in the least. What if a missionary to Africa said, “Well, I’ve brought four people to Christ, that should be enough,” and then returned to the USA to be a couch potato? Wouldn’t that defeat the whole purpose of bringing people into God’s Kingdom? I for one, do not want to be in that category of Good-enough-ers (and yes, I just made that word up).

Everyone has settled for “good enough” at one point in their life. We have to realize that we will not ever be respected if we do not work hard to be excellent. I do not want to be known as “lazy” or a “slacker”.

How do we change this? Complacency is not an easy rut to get out of, believe me. It takes determination and perseverance. You must first determine to change your ways and then persevere until you reach your destination. The battle against complacency is ongoing, however, and you will always have to strive to be excellent. Although we will never be fully excellent until Jesus comes back, we must still try while we are here on earth.

It has been said that we should not strive for perfection, since we cannot attain it until we reach heaven, but that is no excuse for becoming complacent. We must still strive for perfection, so that we may glorify God through it. It doesn’t matter if we cannot reach it, we still have to try.

Jesus was here on earth for less than forty years, and He was able to strive for perfection the entire time. Jesus did not settle for “good”. Instead, he strove for excellence. I, too, want to have that reputation. God has put me on this earth for a reason, but He will not be able to use me if I become complacent and settle for less than God has planned.

All of us have to make the decision to resist complacency and strive for perfection, no matter how hard it may be. God did not put us on earth to be “pretty good”. Follow the example of Jesus and pray to Him for strength and endurance. The battle may not be won for many years, but we do know who wins in the end. Make the choice to fight against complacency and not settle for any less than your best.

The Presence of Him

2009-09-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

It made me shiver. I was awestruck, scared, and yet very happy. I lifted my hands in worship and just stood there for the entire song wondering what I should do. I felt like I had a choice. I could jump from my ledge of security and take that one step into the completely foreign world of wonder, or I could take a step back and hold onto the familiar.

That was the first time that I had felt God’s presence with absolute certainty. There was no doubt in my mind that God was lifting me in His arms and holding me close to His heart. He was trying to tell me something, but He was asking me to first trust Him completely.

I seriously was about to fall over with the amazement that wracked my body. I was in absolute awe at what I was experiencing, and wanted to just stand still and stay there forever. The decision God was asking me to make left thoughts churning in my head. I wondered what I should do, and I once again felt a gentle nudge from God telling me in no uncertain words that He wanted me to leap into His arms with no doubt left in my body.

This decision was one I have been holding back from for a very long time. I was comfortable where I was in my little bubble, and didn’t want anything to change. Lately, though, I have felt God nudging me toward a deeper relationship with Him.
For a long time, I prayed my normal, rote prayer (“Thank you for this day and for everything you’ve given me. Please help this person and that person…”), and even skimmed my Bible instead of studied it. About six months ago, however, I made the decision to try to work as hard as possible to further my relationship with Jesus.
It was not easy for me to make some of the changes that I did, but it has overall been a wonderful thing.

When I went to church and felt God’s all-consuming presence, I knew that He was pleased with my efforts. I knew that God wanted me to keep drawing closer to Him. I knew that God was there, and that He wanted me to leap off my ledge of comfort and fall into His arms. There was no doubt in my mind that God was there, and I felt like God was confirming my faith over and over again.

That experience has changed something inside me. I no longer want to stay comfortable; I want to spread the love of God so that others may have an experience like that, too. If only I could make people feel God in the way that I did, I am sure even the strongest atheist could believe in my Lord.

So jump off that ledge! Don’t take time to analyze what will happen, just do it! God will catch you in the arms that created the universe. All you have to do is take that first step. He loves you, and will not let you fall. I hope one day you can have an experience like I did. It is amazing and scary at the same time, but I would not trade that one moment for all the chocolate in the world. But my story is not over.

There were so many emotions running through my body, making my fingers tingle and my arms shake a little while raised in worship. I decided to take that step toward the unknown, and I was no longer afraid to do it. As I leapt off my ledge, I could feel God catching me. In that amazing moment, I heard the God of the universe say four words that have resonated throughout my entire being since that experience. All He had to say to me was summed up in those four words, and I have the need to find proof that He exists. I am absolutely certain now, that He is there in heaven and on earth. And that amazing revelation was summed up in four words. Those words were, “Molly, I love you.”

Level of Commitment

2009-09-15T06:56:00.000-07:00

I had an experience this past week which made me seriously examine my level of commitment to my faith. While I will not go into details since that would be gossip, I will say that it was a time in which several people said Christians tend to be hypocrites. It was said that Christians say one thing, but then live their lives in a way contrary to their words.

If you have ever read “The Pardoner’s Tale” by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will notice how Chaucer feels about hypocrisy. To him, it is the greatest of all sins. While I’m not sure what level of sin it is, I do despise hypocrisy with my entire being.

Or do I? Don’t I sometimes give Christianity a bad name when I don’t stop to help someone (such as the story of the Samaritan in the Bible) in need?

I realize now that my level of commitment needs to be blatantly obvious to everyone around me. If I become a hypocrite, I only show people that all Christians may really be hypocrites as well.

Peter in the Bible also had to examine his level of commitment when Jesus asked him this question: “Peter, do you love me?” Peter replied that he was Jesus’ friend, but Jesus asked him twice more if Peter loved him. Jesus was trying to get Peter to examine his own heart and see if he really was fully committed to Him.

Sometimes I can identify with Peter so well! He, like me, was a sinner and struggled with being completely sold out to Christ. I do that every day, and as much as I hate feeling that way, I still don’t take my level of commitment further. For some reason, I continue to sin over and over, turning my back on Jesus and discouraging people from turning to God.

Why do I do this? It is because I am afraid; afraid of taking a leap into the unknown, and afraid to take the plunge into living by God’s word alone. No longer could I fall back on my excuses and safety nets nor could I change my mind if I leapt out of my comfort zone.

So am I ready to take that risk? Oh yes, because eventually it will lead me to the greatest Reward ever known: eternal life. All of the fear inside my body will eventually dissipate because I know Jesus is holding my right hand, ready to lead me on the path He has made! His plan is so much better than mine, even if I think mine is always better.

Peter was only willing to be the friend of Jesus, but I want to go further. I want to say, “Yes Lord, I love you with my entire being!” and not be stretching the truth at all. It will not be easy, but Jesus does not call us to live lives of ease. Instead He says to “take up your cross and follow Me”. Jesus’ cross was a burden and a trial, and yet He faced it with grace and love as His life ended for three long days… If Jesus calls me to be crucified, whether literally or figuratively, I am now ready to do it, not by myself, but with Him at my side.

Are you ready? Then jump off the cliff into His arms, and take your level of commitment further than you have ever been.

That the World May Know

2009-09-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

As Tina walked through the mall, she noticed a Christian bookstore. She figured that it would be good to stop in and see what new devotional books were out. Tina had been a Christian since she was eight, and had always made a point to do a devotional in the morning before she went to school. Walking around to the teen section, Tina noticed Rita (a girl from school) looking at the large array of Bibles. Rita looked up from the table and smiled in Tina’s direction. “Hi! What are you doing here?” Rita asks. Tina answers that she is looking for a devotional book. When Rita looks surprised, Tina asks her what she is thinking. “Oh, I just didn’t even know you were a Christian!” Rita answers.

First of all, Rita and Tina are two figments from my imagination. This is not a real experience, conversation, or encounter. This is not even a story I have been told, so please do not think I am writing about you.

However, I am not saying this won’t ever happen to you or me, because I think it can. That is, unless we do something about it. Our world has taught us to hide our personal beliefs and fit in without causing a stir. I agree that it is harder to be conspicuous, but I do not think that this is necessarily a bad thing.

I often discuss how we need to be different and be world-changers instead of go-with-the-flow-ers (if that’s a word…), but that is not what I’m after today. Although these are still important subjects, there is an even more important issue that I have not addressed much.

Let me start out with this question: If a person off the street could look over the past two days of your life, could they tell that you are a Christian? Or would they be surprised to find this out? I sure hope that in my life, it would take only five minutes for them to see that I am a Christian, redeemed by Christ’s love, and granted freedom from my sins!

I do not go to public school like Tina, but I have plenty of opportunities to reveal my Lord and Savior through the way I live. I have a job that grants me a plethora of instances in which to show the love of Jesus. I dance at a studio where I can openly reach out to those who are hurting or sad. Even going to the store with my family can be a place to exemplify Christ!

I can honestly tell you that if Rita had told me instead of Tina that she was surprised I was a Christian, I would have been utterly heartbroken. I want my life to be a living testimony to the wonders of my Lord, and if I knew that I wasn’t doing a good job of it, I would want to immediately change the way I was living.

John 13:15 says, “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” If we live like Christ, people will notice. Like Tina, our culture has told us to fit in with the rest of the crowd, not stand out and shout to the corners of the earth what the Son of God has done for us.

If you walked down the street, would people notice that there was something different about you? Or would they just pass you by without even a glance? Rita gave Tina a major wakeup call. Tina had been a faithful Christian inside of her home, but in the world, no one could even tell that she was a follower of Jesus.
Is this not what has happened to us? Have we decided to keep God boxed in at home only? Isn’t it true that Jesus has washed us clean on the inside, and yet we don’t let anyone else find out about this redeeming love?

So, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Let the world know that you are a Christian, and proud to be so! Scream of His glory and power and strength! Make a difference in our dark world! God will win in the end, but we are put here for a purpose.

Are you like Tina? Have you hidden the light that burns so brightly inside you? Or are you going to take off the mask and live like you are a Christian inside and out?

"But it's NORMAL!"

2009-09-01T07:41:00.000-07:00

I am actually a very shy person, believe it or not. I often hear someone say something that I think is wrong, but I do not usually give that person a piece of my mind. This blog is the outpouring of my soul in written form. I take all the instances in my own life that bother me, and I correct them for others to see and learn from. I do not back down from my beliefs, but I’m not very outgoing or loud about what I think deep down inside. Even though I’m quiet, however, I have quite a reputation for being abnormal. This doesn’t really bother me, because I do not strive to be “normal”. I strive to be different in the eyes of the world.

I frequently hear the phrase “it’s normal”. Typically, the context centers around something that has been deemed “okay” because it is “normal”. I want to shout, “Just because it’s normal doesn’t make it okay!” but I can’t for fear of offending someone and losing a friendship.

What do you think is considered “normal” in our society that isn’t okay in the sight of God? I can think of many examples, but I will specifically talk about five of them.

#1 – Teenage Attitude
This is one in particular that has bothered me for a very long time. I often hear people say, “Well, he’s a teenager!” or “I can’t wait until she’s out of this teenage phase”. It drives me crazy, because I know that “teenagerism” has become normal, though it did not start out that way. There was no such thing as a teenager back in Bible times! You were either a child or an adult. Because there was no intermediate stage, it forced the children to be mature and competent. Do you think maybe we should revert back to that??? It’s hard for me to hold my tongue when people refer to their teens as “normal”. A normal teen should choose to be a young adult, and not an overgrown child.

#2 – Public Displays of Affection
You almost can’t avoid it. I’ll be walking down the street, and there will be a couple either my age or younger holding hands, hugging, or kissing. I don’t have any problem with married couples doing these things, but it does bother me that nearly everyone my age has a boyfriend/girlfriend and is not shy about showing affection in public. It’s sick, gross, and very “normal”. That does not make it right. I don’t have a problem with dating or courting, but I do prefer it be done when it can actually lead to something. Honestly, I don’t see any point in dating until a person is old enough to get married. I don’t think having a boyfriend just because everyone else does is a very good reason.

#3 – Cussing
I have never understood why using mild to severe language is so “cool”. It does not appeal to me in the least, and even if I wasn’t a Christian, I most likely wouldn’t use bad language. Actual swear words really bother me, but the take-offs of those words (such as “crap”, “suck”, “freaking”, and more) are what really bother me. Who said that one was a curse word, but the other was okay to say? Who makes up these rules anyway? These words frequent most teenage conversations, and are extremely rude. Just because this is “normal” still does not make it “good”.

#4 – Immodest clothing
Sometimes I wonder what fashion designers are thinking. Some of the latest styles are weird and ugly, but that doesn’t stop teen girls from buying them anyway just because they are “trendy”. I am not very fashionable with my clothing (and frankly, I don’t care), but I am especially bothered by immodesty. This problem is rampant among teen girls, and it is mainly because they follow the examples of latest Hollywood sensations. Whatever is “cool” to wear, teen girls buy. I don’t know when this cycle started, but I have a feeling that it’s been going on for a very long time. “Normal” clothing nowadays is provocative and flashy, and I am not going to buy it just because it is “cool”.

#5 – Laziness
It seems to me that if a teenager can do as little as possible and still get away with it, they will. I used to be like that, but then I realized that no one respected my work ethic. I now can say that I do try to work as hard as possible. Don’t get me wrong: I still succumb to laziness, but I’m working on it. I don’t know what happened to working hard and doing your best, but it has obviously been thrown out the window with modesty and clean language. I know it’s “normal” for a teenager to sleep in until 1:00 PM on a Saturday, but maybe the day would be better spent working hard or at least spending time with family. I was complimented by my manager at the place I work for always keeping my hands busy. This made me feel good and bad at the same time. I was glad my manager was pleased, but sad that I was the only one who did work the entire time I’m there. I hope that just because being lazy is typical, that there are still a few souls out there who are not afraid of hard work.

I am obviously “different”, but I am not afraid to be so. I will not give in to the “normal” trends when they are wrong, and I don’t care what kind of weirdo other teens think I am. I’m not afraid of being different, as long as it is right and good in God’s eyes.

How many Christians...

2009-08-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

…does it take to change the world?

On Sunday, my family went to a very special Colorado Rockies game. The Rockies are known as a Christian Team, and every summer they have “Faith Day”. Basically, you come to an afternoon game, and stay afterward for a certain Christian music artist concert. This year, MercyMe was asked to do it. As we found this out right around my Dad’s birthday, we decided to buy him an experience instead of a present. He was very excited and we all anticipated it eagerly. We had a great time at the game (the Rockies won 4-2), but the concert was amazing. Although the sound was slightly distorted, we couldn’t really see the stage, and there were some loud, obnoxious kids behind me, I found it to be one of the most thrilling experiences of my life. Worshiping with 20,000 fellow Christians is something that brings goose-bumps to my arms and pitter-patters to my heart! We sang “I can only Imagine”, “Amazing Grace”, and ended on “I Love you Lord”. To hear 20,000 people who have hearts similar to mine was a heart-stopping experience. I felt like Jesus was standing right on home plate just beckoning for me to run to Him!

Being with that many people who know Jesus made me wonder why our country is in such bad shape. I mean, honestly, we are no longer leaning toward being a Christian country. Abortions take place every day, gay marriages are legal in some states, and euthanasia is being talked about. If we were truly a Christian country, these things would not be taking place.

I think our world has gotten this way because the Christians have let it become that way.

I know that sounds a bit harsh, but if each of those 20,000 Christians at the baseball game had gone out and done something to change a small part of our world, don’t you think it would have made a noticeable difference? And if every Christian no matter what country, spent their lives reaching out to others and spreading God’s word, wouldn’t it make a huge difference? I’m almost positive that it would.

We as Christians have become lazy and content with sitting back and letting someone else do the hard work. We don’t want to have to face persecution or rejection, so we sit at home reading our Bibles but not acting upon what God commands us to do.

1 Peter 2:16 says, “Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants for God.” Does this verse say, “Do as little as you possibly can while still believing in God”? NO! It says to live as servants to God. We must obey our Lord and follow wherever He leads us.

I want to commit to being a world-changer. I want to do something to make my country become a Christian nation. Paganism and corruption are rampant, but I can stand against it. It will not be easy, and it will take a lot of prayer and persistence, but I believe God will bless me on my journey. I hope to be successful, but even if I fail, I know God will be pleased.

So…How many Christians does it take to change the world?

Terms of Respect

2009-08-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

Before reading this blog please watch this video…

Now, most of you probably have heard of this incident with Senator Barbara Boxer. It has been plastered all over the news and the internet. My dad was the first one who showed me this clip, and I was very angry at Senator Boxer. Well, I didn’t like her in the first place because of some of the things she has done, but this angered me greatly.

How could she ask an army general to not call her “MA’AM”?? The poor general was just following protocol and she has the audacity to tell him that she’s worked hard for her “title” and she would rather he use that term rather than “ma’am”! I couldn’t believe she would say something to a man who has worked with great diligence to earn his title! Do you think if she called him “sir” that he would ask her to call him “general” because he worked hard for it? I think this is absurd. Apparently Senator Boxer doesn’t know that “ma’am” is a term of respect, not a put-down.

It angered me to know that Senator Boxer could put down a man who fights for her own country. And yet, the general complied with her haughty request, and called her “Senator Boxer” instead of “ma’am”. I don’t think I could have done that. If I was in the general’s place, I would have called her “Senator” but with a lot of sarcasm.

I respect the general greatly for obeying her when it would have been easy to disregard her wishes. That takes a lot of self-control!

This whole incident concerning titles and terms of respect got me to thinking. I paralleled it with the times in the Bible when Jesus walked on this earth. Do you think Jesus was called by the names that were respectful to Him? Shouldn’t he have been called the Messiah, Almighty, Prince of Peace, and the Son of God?

And yet He was beaten, and mocked. The soldiers called Him the “king of the Jews”, but it was not meant as a term of respect, it was a slam against who He was. The soldiers did not believe that He really was God’s Son, so they mocked Him mercilessly. Throughout His time on earth, He was scorned, beaten, crucified, and disregarded. Jesus deserved the highest of praise, and yet He accepted the lowest of insults.

Should Senator Boxer be so concerned about her title? She is but a woman on earth for a short time only, and yet she is concerned about what she is called. Jesus should have been called Christ, and yet He was called a liar. Jesus was not concerned about His title, but about what kind of legacy He was leaving behind.

Jesus showed that a title does not matter here on earth. We are all equal in God’s eyes, therefore no one is higher than another. Perhaps Senator Boxer should be more concerned about what she does in office rather than what name she is called by.
Jesus should have been called the Lion of Judah, the Word of God, Christ, the King, and the author of Life, and yet we still scorn His name. Perhaps we should all take a lesson from Him.

Apples

2009-08-11T17:39:00.000-07:00

This week my cousins are here. I have been enjoying my time immensely, and have learned some great things from all of them! On Thursday night, my cousin Johanna and I stayed up until 3 AM just talking about the things that we struggle with. If you know me very well, you will know that I am NOT a late night person! I can barely keep my eyes open past ten o’ clock, so staying up until three was a big deal for me (and yes, I paid for it dearly the next day…). Johanna thinks just like me in so many ways, we can almost finish each other’s sentences! We talked a lot about what is wrong with this world, how purity of mind is just as important as purity of body, but mostly about what we are tempted to do. We both agreed that when we are tempted, we feel dirty inside, regardless of whether we fell into the temptation or not. Johanna said that even though she usually resists temptation, it still leaves a mark on her heart. I agreed with her completely, and felt that finally someone understood how I felt when I was tempted!

Although we may feel dirty, being tempted is not a sin. Really. It is when we give into that temptation that it becomes a sin.

We have to get used to the idea that we are going to be tempted. Temptation entered into the world the moment Eve took a bite of the apple. Satan now has the power to tempt us with whatever he can use to make us stumble. He cannot make us actually fall, but he can place the stumbling blocks right in our paths to trip up our lives.

Although I wish it was not so, it is a part of my everyday life. I am tempted daily, sometimes more than once. I am tempted to cheat on my schoolwork, struggle with my parents, lash out in anger at my siblings, make up a story to be funny, compromise my standards to fit in, do a job sloppily, not live the life that God intends for me, and so much more. Although these are only some of the many temptations I face, these are the ones I struggle with often.

Everyone has different temptations, so I think it is a good idea to write them out. That way, when you feel that tug on your heart to give in to that temptation, you can resist! Find some scriptures that counteract your temptation so that you can use the Word of God which is sharper than a two-edged sword to battle it! It will not be easy to overcome.

The story of Adam and Eve has always been one that brought tears to my eyes. I have often felt angry at them for giving in to temptation, resulting in their banishment from the Garden of Eden. I have often wished that I could go back to that day and tell them to resist so that I can live in the luxury of the Garden where there is no pain or death. But God has a plan, and it will bring Him glory. The apple was instrumental in the time of Adam and Eve, and we could not have been warned against temptation in a better manner.

There are many apples in our lives, and we must learn to resist them with all our might. Remember: To be tempted is not a sin! Do not feel angry at yourself for being tempted. Just make sure you are resisting that apple with all your might, so that your actions will not lead to sin. Jesus was able to resist all temptations, so we can, too.

Drastically Different

2009-08-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with the fact that I am so very different from other people my age. I’m not complaining, it’s just hard sometimes.

I love being with my family and I enjoy their presence. I enjoy movie night with my family much more than I ever enjoy a movie night anywhere else. I don’t really care for hanging out with big groups of people because I am pretty shy. Unfortunately, when you are a fifteen-year-old, a lot of things are done in big groups such as church camp, retreats, and other church activities. I choose to stay home with my family instead, so I can’t ever seem to get to the point where I’m accepted within a group of people.

I also am homeschooled, which makes me drastically different from others. My values are different from other Christian teens, I don’t always agree with everything that is done, and sometimes I am even made an outcast just because I am so different. I have been pushed to the outskirts many times based only on the reason that I am not like the others. People don’t know how to relate to me (even though I can carry on a conversation, quite well), so they don’t even try. It’s hard to be homeschooled for this reason, but I wouldn’t give it up just to fit in. I have a feeling that even if I did go to public school, I would still be different.

I wear skirts. Skirts that go below the knee, and sometimes even to the ankle. Not every day, but I LIKE wearing skirts. I had a girl come up and ask me once if I was Amish. Yeah, that was kind of weird. It’s not that I have anything against wearing pants (I even wear shorts as long as they are modest), I just truly enjoy wearing skirts and dresses. I even dress up to go to church. Most people my age don’t wear anything different to church than they would to go to a ball game, but I do. I think it’s a sign of respect toward God, and that’s just what I have always done. I wish people wouldn’t judge me based on my clothing. Aren’t we supposed to look past the outer layer? I have no problem with people who wear jeans to church. In fact I don’t think I’ve ever even thought about it! I just wish people wouldn’t think I’m weird because I wear skirts two or three times a week!!!

My mom is my best friend. I know that’s pretty unusual in the world today, but for me she is who I turn to! When people ask me who my best friend is and I tell them that my mom is, they all look at me in disbelief. I don’t have to have a bunch of friends I can turn to because I have my mom! I wish more girls realized how wonderful a close mother and daughter relationship can be!

I’m not allowed to watch certain movies, listen to certain music, or read certain books. And I’M OKAY WITH THAT. Yes, really. I don’t care if it’s “popular” or “cool”. My parents set my boundaries and I completely trust their judgment. I know that if they say, “Molly, don’t read this,” that it is for my own good! I don’t go behind my parents’ back and do things that I know are wrong, because their rules are for my protection. AND I’M STILL OKAY WITH THAT.

I may have become an outcast in this world, but ultimately, that doesn’t matter. It may be hard for a time, but I know it is more important to be doing the things God wants for me to do! The standards of this world will be thrown out and trampled on the day Jesus returns, so I need to live up to His will, not my own.

I would appreciate prayers and encouragement, because it will still not be easy. However, I am determined not to let that make me give in to what I know is wrong.

“And if on some point you think differently,that too God will make clear to you.” Philippians 3:15

One Foot Out

2009-07-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

Almost two years ago, I attended a mother and daughter retreat with some wonderful people from my church. My mom and I were excited to go, and anxious to learn something new. We had read the description of the retreat online, and decided that it sounded like a great idea. We drove to Denver with some friends, excitedly speaking of what we were expecting out of the retreat. I often have expectations that never work out the way I had planned, and this is one of those times. We arrived for the first evening of lessons, and were sadly disappointed with what we saw. There were hundreds of teenage girls not even bothering to sit with their moms, even though it was supposed to be a mother/daughter event. This saddened both my mother and me, but we did realize that our relationship is not usual, so we didn’t think much more about it. When the speakers began to talk and tell about some very serious subjects, our hearts broke even more. The speakers may have said that they were passionate about spreading the love of God, but they seemed to make every subject easier to do nothing about. The speakers gave talks that centered a lot around worldly problems and they even gave some worldly answers. One of the speakers even used the Lord’s name in vain several times! They did several giveaways, and the screaming of hundreds of teen girls scrabbling to get the best prize was excruciatingly annoying. It was honestly hard to tell if it was a Christian conference or a mad house.

Although this experience was a long time ago, it still burdens my heart. I went to this conference hoping to learn more about Jesus and how to encourage a great relationship with my mom, but instead I got only eye-candy for the world. It was very hard to learn something from people who you definitely don’t want to be like! The girls there were not eager to learn about God, but only to get a cool prize or the latest CD. They seemed to have forgotten completely the reason for going to a conference about God, and the speakers seemed to have been disillusioned by the world’s charms.

I kept wondering throughout the whole conference if these people had never heard John 15:19? Had they never heard that we are supposed to be in the world but not of it? I was horrified that a Christian conference could be taken in by the world and Satan’s disguising tactics.

Jesus tells us that he has chosen us to be out of the world, not of it! This means that we must set ourselves apart from Satan’s worldly ploys that take in so many Christians every day. We must make a conscious choice to stay separate from the things that are so easy to make a part of our daily lives. It is not easy, but we will be rewarded for it.

It is interesting that we obviously have one foot here on earth for a short time, and yet we still have one foot in the heavens. God lets us reside on earth for any number of years no matter whether we live for Him or for ourselves. God could easily force us to serve Him, but He gives us that choice. God puts us here on earth so that we can bring glory to Him. Therefore, we must have one foot in the world (but not of it), and one foot in Heaven (but not of it until the day of our death). If we choose not to glorify God, then our eternal punishment with far outweigh the pleasure we may have experienced here on earth.

Although it is sad that so many people have two feet planted firmly into the world, we cannot sit idly by and do the same thing. We must get off our worldly cushions and glorify God through all that we have.

On the Surface

2009-07-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that lasted a little while, but when you stopped talking you realized you really hadn’t said anything of lasting importance? Have you ever taken a class on an important subject and had a teacher who just barely covered the needed information? Or have you gone to a church that ignores the touchy subjects and preaches all fluff?

These things surround us every day, and yet we do nothing about them. I am blessed enough to have a wonderful church with a minister who leaves no subject untouched. My minister says what needs to be said and does not sugarcoat the words so as to make them easier to swallow. I’m so glad I can ask him a question, and he will give me an honest, godly opinion.

Although I have a wonderful church and don’t have to fight very many battles within my congregation, I do face instances everyday that hurt my heart and my soul. For instance, a little while ago, I was in a Bible class with many teenagers my own age. We were asked to find a book of the Bible, and as I flipped to it, I saw many of the Christian teenagers around me going to the Table of Contents to find the book of the Bible. This saddened me that they had not become familiar enough with their Bibles to know the order of the books. (I learned them when I was young by putting them to a melody of a song. And yes, I still sing the song in my head sometimes when I’m trying to find something!) I didn’t think much of this until the Bible teacher asked how many people had read their entire Bible. (Note: This was not a class of new Christians… These were mostly people who had grown up in the church all their lives.) I raised my hand expecting every hand to go up. Of about twenty people, only three or four raised their hands.

This surprised me greatly. I had no idea that so very few high school Christians had read their entire Bible. I didn’t know it was so unusual to have read the entire Bible, much less many times! I just assumed that every Christian had done so at some point in their life. That’s when I realized that the expectations are so low in the present culture that even Christians have succumbed to them.

It hurt me to know that even Christians who had grown up in Christian families were not taking the time to delve deeper into the Word of God.

I have often watched Christian teenagers listen to a powerfully impacting message and say they are going to change and try to do better. Unfortunately, it seems to last not much longer than a week! The hearts of teens today are so hard; it takes many blows to break them down into what Jesus would want. I feel bad for the ministers and teachers who pour their lives into changing teens, only to see results for a little while. It must be so discouraging at times.

And then something else hit me so hard, I was about knocked over.

I realized how self-righteous I was being! I was condemning all these people for not living up to God’s expectations, even though I was also failing miserably! Yes, I may have read the Bible many times, have quiet times daily, and pray, but how many times have I listened to a heart-wrenching sermon and only said, “Hmmm. That’s interesting. Someone should do something about that!” Why can’t I be the person to change that! Why can’t I make a ripple in the pond that will not just scratch the surface, but dig deep into the very core of the lives of people! I want to make a difference!

But I don’t know how. Or at least, I don’t want to know how. I want God to just do it all for me instead of having to work hard and serve others with my life. This is what my flesh desires, but when I was baptized, I made a commitment to serve not my flesh, but my LORD.

I’m challenging you today to choose to find a way to make a difference in someone’s life. If that is by being a good example to your fellow believers, then go for it. If it is serving as a missionary in Africa, then go for it. But whatever it is that God calls you to be, do it for Him alone. Don’t do it so that someday you will have a YWAM Heroes book about you. Don’t do it to make yourself feel righteous. DO IT FOR GOD.

The world may be a place where no one goes deep enough to learn about God and serve Him wholeheartedly, but that doesn’t mean you and I don’t have to.

A Firm Foundation

2009-06-24T11:07:00.001-07:00

It seems to me that our world is falling apart.

That sentence is not an exaggeration; rather it is an observation that has been made by many people. So many things are going wrong nowadays. Abortion is no longer looked upon with disdain, euthanasia is becoming more widely accepted, teenagers are idiotic, and marriages are much shorter than God intended. All of these things have become normal and even expected. It breaks my heart to know that I am not a “normal” teenager, but one that is highly unusual. A “normal” teen would be doing things that I would not even like to describe.

All these things have led me to a conclusion about why our world is falling apart. We have taken a world created by God, and sucked all the godliness out of it. God’s design has been thrown out the window, and worldliness has taken its place.

Think of it this way; a builder is given instructions by his superior to build a brick house. While in the midst of the building process, the builder begins to get cocky. The builder begins to value his own ideas over the plans the superior has given him. When the time comes to place the bricks in the mortar, the builder decides that Jell-O would be a better substance for keeping the bricks in place, so he substitutes that in place of the mortar. In the end, the house comes crumbling down.

Is that not what we have done in our world? Have we not become cocky and decided that we are a better judge of our lives than God is? Haven’t we completely rejected the plans God has given us only to trade them in for plans of instant pleasure but future heartache? Why are we so set in our OWN ways?

It disgusts me to see how even I as a Christian think I know better than God does! I often make split decisions without consulting God, and I always regret them later. Sometimes my selfishness takes over, and I decide that I will just do what I want so I can have that instant gratification.

God has given us all consciences to guide us in everything that we do, but we often shut them out so we don’t have to take the time to see if our choices are good ones. We need to listen to our God-given consciences so we will not make choices that will require future consequences! Perhaps that little voice in each of our heads is there for a reason! Perhaps we should listen to it once in a while!

One of my favorite analogies in the Bible is that of the man who builds his house on a rock opposed to the man who builds his on sand. When we choose to follow the plans God has given us, we are choosing a firm foundation…one that will never falter. But when we choose our own directed path, it is only a matter of time before the sand shifts beneath our feet.

I hope you and I alike will be able to make the conscious choice to build upon solid rock and follow the plan God has prepared for your life. I pray that the world will see that they are replacing the mortar with Jell-O and will decide to change their wicked ways.

Resounding Words

2009-05-26T18:28:00.000-07:00

I have always been imaginative. I lie in bed at night and think up stories and imagine just about everything. I like to imagine I’m in a certain time period and how I would deal with a certain situation. I wouldn’t say I’m super creative (believe me, my artistic ability ends at stick figures), but I’ve always loved to pretend I’m something else. My sister and I still play dress up together, and yes, I still enjoy it.

When I’m lying in bed at night thinking about things and making up stories, I often dwell upon the day that I meet Jesus. I don’t consciously make the choice to think about it, but it just seems to happen. This day obviously hold great importance for me, and it is no wonder that I find it so fascinating. For me, it is just one of those things that I can never create as amazing as it really will be. Believe me, I’ve tried, but it is completely beyond the grasp of the human mind.

Several months ago, the minister at my church preached about going to heaven and the day that we all meet Jesus. For some reason, I had never thought of it that way. I had always thought that only Christians met Jesus, but I was wrong. On Judgment Day, EVERYONE will meet Jesus, whether they go to heaven or not. I have often reflected upon the phrase, “Well done, My good and faithful servant.” It has always been special to me, because that phrase is what I live my life for. It holds special importance for me, because it is what I desire with all my heart to hear. The sermon brought an interesting thought to the forefront of my mind: What will those who are not Christians hear on Judgment Day?

This was something I had never thought of before. Perhaps they would hear something along the lines of, “You have fallen short of My glory,” or “You have displeased Me.” Either phrase would send the toughest man weeping and begging on his knees. I can’t imagine what it would be like to see the disappointment in the eyes of Jesus. Can you see now why my life is lived to hear only approving words from my Jesus?

Imagine with me, if you will, what it would be like to die and moments later be standing before the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Pretend you have lived your life well; making good money, having a good family, and for the most part, morally. Yet you somehow managed to skip over the pieces containing God. You didn’t really care whether or not Jesus was real, but you lived a good life nonetheless. The minute you see the face of Jesus you realize how horribly wrong you were. You realize the many years you lived on earth were all for naught. Absolutely nothing you did was worthwhile, and you have failed in the eyes of God.

Does that not create a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach? Do you really want your life to end up that way? I’m assuming you don’t.

Whether you live your life morally but without God, or immorally and still without God, you will still hear those same words: “You have failed Me.” Make the choice today to hear the words: “Well done, My good and faithful servant!” It is a choice you must make. Do not delay, for you do not know how long or short your life here on earth is. This is the most important decision anyone can ever make, so choose wisely.

Reflections

2009-05-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

This past week was my first taste of summer vacation. It was nice not having to get up and face a day full of Geometry, Government, Economics, Latin, Biology, and many other things. Although I love school, I also love to sleep late in the morning.
While I enjoyed my first summer days I reflected a lot on this past year. This was my first year in high school, and a lot of things happened. Most of these things were good, but even the bad things made an impact on my life.

At the beginning of the school year, I found out what it meant to truly have to work to get good grades. I have always been able to get good grades with little effort, and it was a shock to me to suddenly find that my work was hard. I learned very quickly that high school is NOT all it’s cracked up to be. It may be some of the best years of my life, but the constant studying, writing, and confusion got to me, but I was able to work through it (sometimes through tears) and get the grade I wanted. (Note to readers: If you follow my blog, you probably have noticed that I have not been posting as often as I used to. This is mainly due to an intensive Literary Analysis course. I wrote so many essays, I did not have any creative energy left to put into my blog. I apologize, and promise to post more faithfully this summer.)

In addition to learning how to work hard and do my best, I learned how prayer works. Around Christmas, a dear man, Mr. Scott flew to Jesus, leaving behind six children and a wife. I have never prayed harder in my life. I wanted God to heal Mr. Scott and make everything perfect again. But God didn’t. He took Mr. Scott home, and left the family all alone. And yet, I finally came to understand that I shouldn’t mourn for him! He was in heaven and made whole. Through a dark, sad time of my life, I learned that God’s plan is perfect, and I should never try to override His authority.

One of the hardest things that happened to me this year was finding out that my closest friend is moving to Fiji. This friend has truly been my kindred spirit through some very difficult times in my life. This friend has helped me stay away from the things that make me stumble and has encouraged me every step of the way in my spiritual life. For one to three years, I will have nearly no contact with her, and will no longer be able to enjoy her companionship. I love you, my friend, and am praying for you with all my might. Through this difficult experience, I learned that I do not lean on God hardly at all. I like to be in charge, and I like to know exactly what is coming up ahead. God showed me that I cannot always be in control. I have to let go and let Him take the wheel.

In March, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a chronic nerve disorder that causes severe fatigue, joint pain, and brain fog. I felt sorry for myself for quite a while, and felt pretty sad. Fibromyalgia never goes away, and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life. I was sad for a long time, and then I realized that God has given me this condition for a reason. I do not have any idea what that reason is yet, but I am sure it will be revealed to me eventually. God once again showed me that His plan is perfect and I should never doubt it.

Although all these things so far have been bad, there have been many good things, too. However, it seems that the most important lessons are learned from the more difficult things. This year, I have learned: what true joy is from my cousin Esther, what it is to be seven years old in the Lord, how important and supportive my family is to me, what complete forgiveness feels like after a rocky friendship, and what an awesome God I worship.

Thank you to all my readers for sharing my journey in Christ, and for supporting me along the way. Please leave comments, as they are a great encouragement to me.

A Bleak Surrounding

2009-04-26T18:21:00.004-07:00

Our country is headed for a recession. Only 4% of Americans have a Biblical worldview. Drug use is becoming rampant among junior high students. The majority of high school students do not graduate with their virginity still intact.

We are living in a very bleak surrounding.

If you turn on your television, you will see reports on the news of absolutely horrible things that are happening to people every day. You will see murder, cheating, lying, and a world with no hope. We may be great at keeping our world “green” but we sure aren’t keeping it moral.

I do not watch hardly any television or read any of the popular books because they are so filled with evil. Lying has become okay, and truth has become relative. Christianity has become scarcer and Agnosticism and Atheism is growing.

If you are not a Christian, I don’t know how you can keep on living. Obviously the
world is not what it should be, and it will come to an end someday. If the world keeps getting steadily more evil, what is the point in prolonging your distress? Wouldn’t it be easier to just give up hope and die?

I have good news and bad news. This world will come to an end. It will get worse and evil will appear to prevail. This is not the bad news, however, because Jesus is coming back to take his followers to a new earth that is emptied of evil and is perfect because God made it! Revelation 21:1 says, “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away and there was no longer any sea.” Can you imagine what it will be like to go to a completely new world?! This is the good news: If you believe and follow Jesus Christ, you will go to the new earth and live with Him forever. The bad news is this: if you do not believe, you will go to hell and will suffer eternal separation from God.

This is the bleak surrounding. As humans, we can handle turmoil in our lives, a bad economy, and poverty. But we cannot handle complete separation from God. It is God’s will for all people to love and obey Him, but because we are idiots, we reject God’s will and try to make one of our own. The separation of heaven and hell is great, and there is no way to do over your life once in hell. Do you really want to die not believing in God and then stand before Him on judgment day knowing that you have rejected Him all your life? How terrible it will be for those who did not believe and finally see that they were the ones who were wrong. Can you imagine what the screaming will be like when their fate is announced?

In a world that is falling apart, it seems as if there is no hope. Yet in a world where evil is rampant, there is a shaft of light piercing the darkness of Satan. This light comes from the only one who emanates absolute truth, agape love, and amazing grace. This light is our Redeemer, Savior, and Everlasting Hope. In a world with no love, no truth, and no trust, God shines his glory to those willing to accept it. I plead with each and every one of you to receive the truth before it is too late. Do not let the bleak outlook of the world envelop your senses. Do not let Satan win the battle over your life now, for Jesus will prevail in the end.

An Eternal Holiday

2009-04-13T10:05:00.001-07:00

Did you have a good Easter? Was your day filled with presents and candy? Or was it spent worshiping God’s Son who died for your sins?

It amazes me how the world can simply remove the true meaning of Easter from the world and convince so many people that it is about the Easter Bunny or egg-dyeing or candy. How many people do you think woke up this morning with a stomach ache from all the candy and food? How many people didn’t enjoy their day just because they knew it would be over too soon?

All the world gets after Easter is a stomach ache and a bummed spirit.

But there is good news, too. If you are a Christian, you know that we celebrate Easter for a much more wonderful reason. We are celebrating the resurrection of Christ who takes away the sin of the world! Without this monumental occasion, there would be no eternal importance to Easter, Christmas, or Good Friday. The world misses out on an extremely important part of one of the most important holidays!

Can you imagine celebrating Easter only for the food, candy, and gifts? Can you imagine never knowing what Christ did for the world and how we can enter eternity in heaven through it? Can you imagine that kind of spiritual darkness?

I have been raised in a Christian setting my entire life, so I don’t know what these things truly feel like, though I believe it would be truly horrible. God has made it our mission to make sure no one has to live in that type of ignorance! I think it is crazy how people say that Christians are the ignorant ones… Aren’t we the ones that truly understand what life’s importance is?

What did you do to spread the message of Easter? Did you invite someone over to your house to share the marvel of Christ’s resurrection? Plan ahead next year if you didn’t, so that you may share the joyous news of the empty tomb!

It saddens me to walk into Wal-Mart, Target, or just about any store and see only chocolate bunnies, sugar coated peeps, and creamy eggs. What about the cross? What about the true meaning? Why can’t the world see that not every holiday is just about the material things?

It is up to us as Christians to expose the true meaning of Easter to the world. There will be many who will refuse to see it, but many hearts will be touched by the message they have never heard. We all must try harder than ever to expose the world’s temporary pleasures and instead reveal the everlasting meaning of Christ.

“He himself bore our sins, in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed!” 1 Peter 2:24

A Bunch of Smart Idiots

2009-03-22T19:48:00.000-07:00

Recently, my family watched the documentary entitled: “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed.” This was produced by the popular comedian Ben Stein who used his own money to fund a movie that supported the Christian perspective of intelligent design. In this funny, but rather shocking movie, Ben Stein goes around asking evolutionists and intelligent design supporters and professors about their viewpoints of how intelligent design is being stamped out of public school systems, colleges, and America as a whole. Some of the remarks that come out of the evolutionary scientists’ mouths are shocking and frankly, they made me mad. One professor stated that religion should be kept separate from science, and should be something that people do on the weekends as a hobby, not something that should play a role in a person’s entire life. Another said that man did evolve, but not for a purpose. They were put on earth simply to be born, live, and die. What a lame existence! Yet another stated that religion should be slowly eradicated so it would stop causing
problems between people.

I think Ben Stein met and talked to a bunch of smart idiots.

It struck me though, that the evolutionists were so sure that they were right and that the believers in intelligent design were absolutely 100 percent wrong. It didn’t matter what anyone said to them, they would not be swayed in their judgment. One professor said that he went into a high school biology class a Christian, but after reading his text book and taking a semester class from an evolutionist, he gave up his belief in God and became a devoted Darwinist. Sadly, this same man was diagnosed with a brain tumor late in his life, and this still did not shake his belief in Darwin’s theory. I don’t know if this man is still alive, but I pray that he found (or finds) God’s truth before his death. The evolutionists were not willing to even listen to a creationist’s perspective they were so sure they were right! I think that happens a lot in a Christian’s life, because they are so sure they are right about something, but are not willing to listen to another side. I agree that sometimes it is dangerous to let an idea enter your head, but shouldn’t we at least give a person with a different view the opportunity to tell us why they believe how they do? We may even come to find that we are wrong!

I think what struck me most was what that one professor said about church and religion becoming something one does on the weekend, and the weekend only. It’s like when people are “Christian” on Sunday, but Monday through Saturday don’t count. I don’t think on Judgment Day God is going to judge us on what we did only on Sundays. Religion is not a hobby or a social club; it is something to take seriously and live out every day. So many churches have enough activities to fill a person’s social calendar, but they are not meeting the people’s spiritual needs. I don’t want a church that just gives me stuff to do… I want one that will help me grow in my EVERYDAY relationship with Christ, and my spiritual walk with God! If I never mature in my faith, what is the point? The humanist view of how church should be something that is enjoyable, fun, or entertaining is ruining many churches throughout America.

I find it sad and disturbing that politicians are trying their hardest to separate religion from government, when our own Declaration of Independence names God as our Creator! The Declaration does not say, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by that which they evolved through with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” No! It says, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” The authors of the Declaration were not trying to separate religion from government, they were trying to ensure that they always went together! The idea that man was created by God was not even questioned. I think it is sad that the theory of intelligent design isn’t even the primary scientific explanation that is taught in public schools today. I don’t think Creation is looked upon as a scientific theory (or law), but it is seen as a stupid, unbelievable idea that the Christian fanatics thought up.

I wish I could say that one day everything would be better, and creationism would be re-established, but I’m not so sure. Our country needs every Christian to fall to their knees in prayer for it, or it may become worse than a Communist country. Please join me in praying for America and its future.

A Common Misconception

2009-03-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

My parents are gone for ten days on a Caribbean cruise. As much as I would like to be on that cruise with them, I would really have them back here so they, my siblings, and I can be a family again. I miss them a whole lot, and look forward to their daily calls just so I can hear their voices. I love my parents so much, and wish they were here with all of my heart.

Now most of you who know me can tell that my family is extremely important to me, and I would do anything for them. Being homeschooled has made a huge difference in how I view my family. When you are with them all day every day, it’s pretty lonely when you have to spend ten days apart from them!!

It seems to be expected of teenagers in the world today to treat their parents with disrespect, disregard, and as if they have no real value. I can’t tell you how many times I have walked through the mall or into a store and heard a teenager complaining about their parents, saying how unfair they are, and how they just don’t understand them. This always makes me wonder if I have ever said anything disrespectful to a friend about my parents. I try not to, and hope to succeed until the day I die.

Why is it that teenagers are predisposed to dislike whatever they say or do? Could it be because of the television shows on today? Could it be because that is just what has come to be expected?

My dad came home from work the other day and told me about an incident he had had with a coworker. I can’t remember how the conversation started, but basically my dad had said how he was glad I wasn’t like other teenagers. The man asked how old I was, and proceeded to tell my dad that there was still time for me to become like the rest of the world. My dad said that I would never become like that because he had told me not to, and the coworker said that it doesn’t matter how hard a parent tries, the child will rebel at some time (break curfew, talk disrespectfully, etc.)
My dad just told him that he was sure it would never happen to me (thanks, Dad!) and the guy just laughed as if my dad was ignorant.

It hit me that even the parents expect their teens to rebel at some point! Maybe it’s not all the teen’s fault after all, though it is mostly their problem. The parents have just stopped trying to teach their kids how not to behave, because everyone else acts like it, so why not? I thought that was pretty sad.

I love my dad so much for sticking up for me and my reputation. He told that man that he has told me how not to act, and that I am obedient enough to follow his direction. I’m sure the guy though my dad was crazy, but maybe he will be surprised in a couple of years when I am still not in trouble.

I am hoping to break the trend of going against my parents, because I have come to realize that they really DO know more than I do! They have lived much longer than I have, and have the wisdom that I have not yet acquired. Proverbs 16:31 says, “Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.” (See Mom? Those gray hairs are for a good reason!!) I love my parents so much, even though I sometimes do things to hurt them. When I disobey them, it is usually because I have come to see through the world’s perspective of the parent/teen relationship. I hope I can stay faithful (with the Lord’s help) to my promise to honor my parents no matter what the circumstance.

If you get to read this on your cruise ship in the middle of the Caribbean, Mom and Dad, I love you very much and wish you were here with me right now! I can’t wait until Sunday to see you! I love you, and want to try to be the best teenage daughter you could ever have.
Love you,
Molly.

Just Hike It Up

2009-02-18T20:10:00.001-08:00

It seems to me that one of the biggest problems in our world today is modesty. Not one person can even walk into Wal-Mart without needing to cover the eyes more than once! It doesn’t even matter that it is the middle of February, and it’s freezing outside… The inappropriate clothing is still prominent.

I think modesty is so important because of the many boys in the world. When girls walk around half naked, it exposes them to something that they do not need to ever be exposed to. No matter how hard they try to stay away from girls like that, they still cannot keep their eyes from accidentally seeing something. I want to respect my brother’s in Christ and all the boys of this world in the way I dress, so as not to influence them to do evil.

Now, my modesty standards are probably higher than those of the average person, but I don’t think that’s a problem. I would like to share with you what I believe is Biblically appropriate and I personally would wear. If you know me very well, you know that I am SUPER modest, and don’t even own something that I feel uncomfortable in. So here it goes…

My Modesty Standards:

A. Shirts

1) No v-neck shirts without a camisole under it.
2) When I bend over, nothing must be exposed.
3) Not too tight.
4) No spaghetti-strap shirts or skinny strapped tank-tops.

B. Pants

1) Not too tight.
2) Shorts are not any shorter than one inch above the knee.
3) When I bend over nothing is exposed.
4) When I sit down, no one is embarrassed.

C. Skirts

1) Not any shorter than past the knee.
2) When I sit down, no one can see up my skirt.
3) Not too tight.
4) Can walk without looking like a penguin.

D. Dresses

1) Not form fitting or clingy.
2) Past the knee.
3) Modest neckline.

Now I realize that most people would classify this as over the top, but this is what I feel is right, and what God wants me to wear. Every time I try something on at a store I ask myself this question: “Would I wear it to church? Would I wear it in front of my youth group or my minister?” I do not buy anything that I would not feel comfortable wearing at my church. With this simple technique, I keep myself from buying anything that might be even in the slightest inappropriate.

Girls and modesty do not seem to go together any more. I hope that I can be an example to them in the way I dress, even if I am a bit uptight about it. If I could tell the girls of this world one thing, it would be to hold the front of their shirts when they bend over. It’s really not that hard, and it saves all the other people in the room a lot of embarrassment.

To Find the One

2009-02-04T14:26:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, I was struck by a song that was played during the offering. I came home and looked it up and found that it was written by Paul Alan and is called “Only to Bring you Back”. Here are the lyrics to the chorus:

“I left the ninety-nine, to find the one. And you’re the one! I walked a thousand miles in the desert sun, only to bring you back.”

I love the chorus because it makes me think of the world today. We Christians have the opportunity every day to make something more important than God. We can turn to money, possessions, other people, and just about anything you can think of, but we have chosen to make God the center of our lives.

So many times I have found myself prioritizing something above God. When I catch myself, I am so ashamed, and I wish I could run and hide. Yet, I know that I must turn to God for forgiveness. It is very hard for me to admit my mistakes to anyone, even God. It is so easy in the world today to find something that consumes all of my attention. If I flip on the television, I see a million things that I “NEED” to have. I think commercials come straight from the Devil! They try to make us want something that will take away our focus from God.

When I was eight, I finally figured out why I didn’t feel complete. I was trying to find something to fill this empty place inside me, but I didn’t know what. My parents helped me find that I wanted to become a Christian. They took me on long walks around the neighborhood teaching me about God’s love and Christ’s ultimate sacrifice. I made the decision to be baptized, and my dad did the honors in our bathtub on May 18th, 2002. I had turned to many different things trying to find that one that would complete me forever. I looked to my not-always-good friends for affirmation of who I was, turned to buying stuff when I felt like I didn’t have enough (when I really had way more than I needed), and many other things trying to figure out what it was that would fill me up. I may have only been in 3rd Grade, but it is amazing what you can feel at that age. I finally found that it was my soul that was not complete. When I went under that water in the bathtub and came back up, I was complete. I had found the one in the ninety-nine that would confirm my identity forever. I found that my identity is in Christ, not in the world.

Even now, after I have been a Christian for six and a half years, I still turn to the world on occasion. I look back at the ninety-nine and wonder if they are really any better than what I have right now. Sometimes, I even go as far as to test it out and see what they are like. Fortunately, I am able to recognize my mistakes and go running back to bow at the feet of Christ.

The song I heard on Sunday voiced what I often feel, but could never explain before. I realize that I do want to leave those that are of the world, and join the ONE and ONLY ONE who will fulfill my life forever. I encourage all of you to make this leap, and make the goal of your life to find the One who was, is, and will forever be there for you.

Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

My Dad is Awesome!

2009-02-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

Guess what my dad did today? He took me and my sister to the father-daughter dance (Butterfly Kisses) at the Lincoln Center DURING THE SUPER BOWL. My dad may not be the biggest football fan, but it still made me feel good.

This has been a tradition in my family for the last eleven years. On Super Bowl Sunday for the past eleven years, my dad has taken me to Butterfly Kisses to show me how much he loves me. When my sister was born, he offered to take us to two separate dances so as to preserve our alone time with him, but we decided to go together.

These past eleven dances have been the highlight of my year with my dad. I love spending time with him, and I love that he wants to spend that time with me.
Last week, Dad pulled Lexi and I into the living room and bent on one knee. He pulled out the tickets to the dance from his pocket, and asked us if we would go with him. Do you know what he is trying to teach me? He’s trying to show me how a man or boy should treat me when I am old enough to court (which according to him is thirty-five). He doesn’t do it just because it’s a tradition! He does it because he wants me to set my standards high so I don’t settle for a man that is not meant to be my husband.

My dad has taught me so many things. He’s taught me how to change the oil in the car (yes, I really do know how), do a job well (he is Mr. Perfectionist!), how to understand the subject of Economics, and lots of current events. But the most important thing he has taught me is what to expect from a guy. Because I have his example, I don’t give a second thought to those who are not up to my standards.

So many teenage girls do not have a father figure in their life. Whether it is through divorce, death, or something else, these girls have a higher chance of settling for just any boy. A dad’s influence in his daughter’s life is so very important. Without this, a girl will not know what to look for in a husband.

My dad is a great example of respectfulness toward women. I love watching him with my mom. He makes a point to kiss her as soon as he comes home from work, he buys her thoughtful gifts, and he tells her she is beautiful (which she is). My dad shows me how my husband should treat me when I get married. I hope to find someone just like my dad when I grow up. He is such a good man, who has set a great example for me.

Thank you, Dad, for being there for me whenever I need you. You have shown me the importance of finding the right man, and how to set my expectations high. Thank you for building up my self-confidence by frequently telling me I look beautiful. It may seem small on your part, but it means the world to me. I love you, Dad, and hope to dance with you at Butterfly Kisses for many years to come. You’re the best, and I love you very much.

Here are the pictures from before the dance:

Lexi, Dad, and Me.

We love you, Dad!

Excited for the dance!

The dog wanted to pose, too :)

Do I look stupid in this picture?

Good or Evil?

2009-01-26T06:57:00.000-08:00

Is man basically good or evil?

Until now, I was absolutely positive that man was basically evil. This is what I had always heard and believed, but I found something that could contradict that. Keep in mind: I don’t have an answer for this, I’m just speculating.

Genesis chapter 1 verse 27 says, “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” If we were created in the image of God, then we are not evil, we are good! After all, God is the epitome of perfection and goodness. From this verse, I can conclude that man is basically good.

Unfortunately, you must look at the Bible as a whole, and not pick out just a few verses. Genesis chapter 8 verse 21 gives a different view of this discussion: “The Lord smelled the pleasing aroma and said in His heart: ‘Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood.’” This is God’s covenant to Noah after the Flood and its destruction of the earth. So God is saying that man is basically evil from the moment he is born. Doesn’t that contradict the first verse?

I know the Bible never contradicts itself, so this cannot be the answer.
The only conclusion that I can come to is that, when Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, the sin that entered their lives completely wiped out the purity of mind and body that God had given them. Since they allowed sin to play a part in their lives, they fell from God’s grace, and were no longer allowed to be like Him.

I suppose this is how the human race lost their goodness. We are still made in God’s image, but when we choose the world over God, we become evil inside. Thankfully, Jesus paved the way to perfection, and this can be attained by repenting and being baptized. If Jesus had not come, there would be no hope for regaining our status of goodness.

I still am unsure of my conclusion, but I think man starts out good, but when he allows sin to enter his life, he becomes evil and the only way to become good again is by accepting Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. I could be completely wrong, and if you have another opinion, please leave a comment. These are only the conclusions of a fifteen-year-old who is not wise enough to make these speculations without some help. Please leave your opinions for me to think on and take into consideration.

1 Corinthians 11:7a: “A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God.”

What We Take For Granted

2009-01-23T10:32:00.000-08:00

This post probably won’t make sense to you unless you have ever been so sick you just wanted to die, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t apply, or grosses you out!

This week, I was sick. I don’t mean just a little cold that is more annoying than debilitating, I mean REALLY sick. I had Influenza B, and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to go to heaven as much as I did on Monday. This type of Influenza basically starts out with the worst stomach flu imaginable, and then progresses into a really bad cold. All day Monday, I couldn’t keep even a sip of water down. I have never been so thirsty in all of my life! All I wanted was a drink of water, but I didn’t want to risk it.

It occurred to me in my semi-conscious state that I take water for granted WAY too often. If you’ve ever gone an entire day without a sip of liquid, you know what I mean. How many times a day do I go get a glass of water, take one sip, and dump the rest out? A little too often, apparently.

This got me thinking about what else I take for granted. There are so many things that I do not appreciate for their true value.

It is only when you are deprived of something that you begin to see its true importance.

How true is that statement? Sometimes we don’t care about something until it is taken away from us. This applies to people, possessions, and many other things. Not long ago, a family moved away from my church. I had babysat for them a couple of times, and really loved their kids. I did not realize what a part of our church body they were until they left. It was not until I wasn’t able to hug the kids that I realized how important they were to me.

And what about Jesus? It was only when he was hung on the cross that people came to see Him as the Messiah. Imagine how guilty you would feel if your whole life you had scorned Him, and then you come to find He is truly the Messiah! Jesus was taken for granted in possibly the worst way ever. His pain was immense at the hands of those who did not believe.

This week, I had to read the Diary of Anne Frank and write several essays about it. I love this book, and was glad to read something so interesting. Anne also took many things for granted and did not realize it until she went into hiding. She was deprived of so many things, and only realized their importance after they were taken from her. Her worst struggle was loneliness, because she could only see the eight people in hiding with her every day. How horrible would it be to be deprived of people?! I am not much of a people person, but I could not live without any interaction with people.

Think about it this week, and make a list of all the things you take for granted. I promise you that it will make you feel tremendously blessed. Isn’t it amazing how much we have that we don’t even know about?

The Carousel of Life

2009-01-12T15:03:00.001-08:00

This weekend, my mom and dad took me to a big shopping mall in Denver. Colorado Mills is the BIGGEST mall I’ve ever seen, and even has a beautiful carousel in the middle of the food court.

My parents went to stand in line for lunch, and I stayed with our coats, purses, etc. I watched the carousel go round and round. For some reason, I have always been attracted to carousels, and I even still ride them when I get the opportunity. I may be fifteen, but I’m definitely still a kid.

As I watched the looks of pure glee on the children’s faces, I thought about my own experiences. I’ve always loved getting to choose which horse to ride on (I always pick a white or black one…don’t ask me why), and seeing the world spin by me. I love the look of joy on the children’s faces as they mount their horses.

And then, I looked at the faces of the parents.

Most of them looked like they couldn’t wait to get off. Now, I know that the “carousel song” can get extremely annoying after a while, but these parents didn’t even try to enjoy the ride. They just stood by their children, and looked cranky.

It seems to me that the culture these days wants us to rush everything. We are encouraged to experience everything we can, and hurry through life. The ads on the television are all about things you have to have NOW; you need this NOW, if you don’t have it, come get it NOW.

While we cannot prevent “now” from happening, we can choose to slow down and see God’s wonderful creations. So often, we take life in chunks at a time and miss the little joys God gives to us. I so often miss beautiful things that could really bless my life if I took the time to see them.

Having a daily devotional is something I try and do every day. I have made it a requirement that I must have my Bible reading done before I start anything else (schoolwork, chores, relaxation time, etc.). This helps me to slow down and focus on what God has for me to learn that day. It truly does help me stop and “take time to smell the roses”.

As I watched the carousel go around, my heart yearned to tell the parents to stop and enjoy the moment of fun. I wished I could tell them that eventually, they are going to jump off that carousel of life, and never be able to get back on. I wanted them to know that they should enjoy the time with their children, because they will not be young forever.

So often, we get caught up in the carousel of life, and we feel like it will never let us off. If we have a good attitude, and make something good come from everything, life will not be so unbearable. It is only when we make the carousel turn too fast that it becomes too much for us to handle.

A Change of Perspective

2009-01-07T11:44:00.001-08:00

If you’ve ever had a birthday (and I’m sure you have!) you know what it is like to look back on the past and see how your life has changed.

Monday was my fifteenth birthday. All day, I kept thinking how my perspective has changed throughout my life. So much has happened in the past five years, and through it all I have come to see things in a very different light.

Up until fourth grade, I went to public school. I never thought about homeschooling or what it would be like. All I knew was public school. I went to Traut Core Knowledge School, and had many good teachers. My Kindergarten teacher was such a sweet and calm lady, and she taught me so much. My first grade teacher, Mrs. Schmidt, was a great support to me as a Christian. I would have to say my second grade teacher was my absolute favorite. Miss Elder (now Mrs. Hanlon), showed me that I didn’t have to rush through everything. She even made me do an assignment over because it wasn’t neat. (Yeah, I was mad then, but it has helped me ever since!) I was definitely the teacher’s pet in third grade… Mrs. Ashley was a great teacher and a wonderful influence. My fourth grade teacher was horrible, but one out of five isn’t bad…

The last day of fourth grade was very strange for me. My parents had decided to homeschool me and my siblings starting that very next year. I was terrified at the prospect of doing something so drastically different. I didn’t know what to make of it, and I cried a lot. That first year of homeschooling was very hard (especially for my mom!), but at the end of the year, I was absolutely in love with homeschooling. I even admitted to both my parents that I was wrong and they were right.

That began the start of my perspective change. I had been yanked out of my comfort zone and thrown into something completely different. I adjusted, but it wasn’t easy.
Slowly, I saw a change in my family as well. We began to have what we call “family worship” every night before bedtime. We read either a devotional book or shared what was on our hearts. This was a very good change, and has brought my family closer than ever before.

As we became more involved in the homeschool community, we began to see the pros and cons of public school. Last year’s homeschool conference (CHEC) brought the issue of worldview into my life in a very dramatic way. The messages of the speakers all revolved around worldview and spiritual legacy. My parents began to think about what Jeff Myers (a wonderful speaker on the homeschool circuit) calls “passing the baton” and what Doug Phillips (leader of Vision Forum) calls a “multi-generational vision”. I could see that my parents not only wanted to teach me what I needed to get into college, but what I need to pass the love of Jesus on to my children.

So much has changed for me in my fifteen years of life, and I am so grateful to all the people who have shown me these things. I want to thank my mom and dad for wanting to pass on a spiritual legacy to me and my siblings more than anything else in the world. I hope this next year of my life will bring about more good changes!

Whose Expectations?

2009-01-01T13:14:00.000-08:00

I apologize to my four readers for not posting in two weeks… I have been very busy with the holidays, and not in a writing mood! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are enjoying 2009!

Have you ever felt like you are being bombarded with a subject or something in particular? In the past two weeks or so, I have kept seeing the word “expectations” everywhere. I don’t usually stop and think about it, but it hit me rather hard.

If you know me very well, you know that I have a hard time making friends and reaching out to people because I am shy. Not painfully shy, but reserved enough that I don’t talk in public unless I am spoken to first. This has been a real problem for me since I was little, and especially now since I am in high school.

About two and a half years ago, my family decided to find a new church. We found Dayspring, and placed membership after about six months of visiting. If you have ever changed churches, you know that it is very difficult to fit in at first. Although it does not compare to moving to a different state, it is still hard. For me, it was weird to come in and suddenly be an outsider. I had gone to our previous church for nine years, and there was only one other girl in my grade level, so it was not a struggle to be accepted. When my family joined Dayspring, I was going into seventh grade, so I was placed in the middle school class. Almost every kid in the class went to the same school, was in the same class, and had grown up together. I did not know what they were talking about half the time, and felt like I was standing at the zoo looking in at the animals, but not able to connect with them in any way.

Right now, I am in the high school youth group and am the only homeschooled kid. It is incredibly hard to try and fit in, and pretend like I am just like them. For two years I have tried to make them like me (which is very difficult when you don’t talk out loud very often), and have hoped that one day they will see that I am no different than they are. I am not saying that the kids in the youth group are mean or pushy (they are actually very nice), but they can tell that I am vastly different from them.

Two weeks ago, it hit me.

I don’t have to be like them! I don’t have to pretend that I know what public high school is like. To live that way would be a lie! It’s okay to be different.

I am a people pleaser, and it is not always a good thing. I strive for acceptance and want to make everyone happy. I don’t like being an outcast, and I have cried many nights because I am so different from the other teens my age.

I’m slowly starting to realize that it is okay to be different. God made everyone unique in their own way, and we should not be ashamed of how we are. If we don’t like who God made us to be, we are insulting His creation.

The expectations of this world are drastically different from what God wants. The world is like a candy mold; we have to fit in just right, or we will stick out conspicuously. God wants us to follow his ways and not compare ourselves to anyone except Jesus Christ. It is His example we are to follow, and no one else’s.

Please don’t get me wrong. I would not trade homeschooling for anything in the world. I don’t mind being different, and not all homeschoolers are outcasts. I have chosen to be different, and it is okay. I am just one case in a million, so don’t base your view of homeschooling solely on my account.

I think one of the biggest expectations that the world has is friendship. The world expects us to be friends with our peers. I do not have very many friends that are my own age. (Yes, a shocker, I know.) My very best friend is my mom, and she is twenty years older than me. The world does not expect any teen girl to have a good relationship with her mom. The world doesn’t frown upon it, but it is not expected or normal.

On Tuesday, I went to Starbuck’s with my dear friend Candice McLaren. She is a young mom with five children. Obviously, I am only fourteen, don’t have children, and can’t even drive! And yet, Mrs. McLaren has reached out to me, and has befriended me. She has shown me so much about God, and has acted not only as a friend, but as a mentor as well. I am dearly grateful for her friendship. The world may think it is weird for me to be such good friends with someone in a different stage of life, but I think it is cool.

The teens of this world get into so much trouble nowadays. I can only wonder if it is because they only look to their peers for advice. I think having a friend that is a lot older than you will help you gain wisdom and knowledge.

Not only am I friends with people over twenty, I love children, too! A little girl at my church, Sarah, is one of my dear friends, and she is only six years old. In fact, on New Year’s Eve, I played hide and seek with her for nearly an hour. I did not do it just because she asked me, I did it because I wanted to.

Well, now that you’ve read this blog, you probably think that I am totally nuts. I just want to say that this year, I am not going to try to fit into the image of the world, I am going to be who God made me to be, and reach out through who I really am. I am so grateful that God has shown me my mistake, and I am going to strive to compare myself only to God.

He joined the angels today

2008-12-17T20:49:00.000-08:00

He joined the angels today. He is in no more pain and has no fear. I can just picture him standing up from his wheelchair and running into the arms of Jesus. His pain is gone forever, and he is rejoicing with his heavenly family.

Mr. Scott passed away this evening around seven. I was at church at the time with my family when the news came. I was expecting it, but a sharp pain still stabbed my heart. I do not hurt for Mr. Paul in any way. He is at peace and cannot be made happier. I hurt for the family and what they must be feeling. I watched the four little girls run around the church building playing for a few minutes while those of us who knew what had happened stood watching. I saw the childish joy spread across their faces as they played Hide and Seek with the other kids. All I could think about is how the smiles are going to slide off their faces when they learn of their father’s death. I grieved inside at the thought of little Sarah, only five years old, growing up without a daddy. I hurt for Mrs. Scott and what she must have felt as her husband breathed his last. I cried inside at the thought of David becoming the man of the house at nineteen. I cried for their pain.

And then I remembered how Mr. Scott must have felt the moment he saw the face of Jesus. What is it like to run into Jesus’ waiting arms and hear the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant!”? What does the embracing Jesus feel like? I only know that one day, it will be my turn. I cannot imagine the joy that will well up inside me.

Mr. Scott may be gone from this earth, but his memory lives on. This next year will be terribly hard for the Scott family, but they know that they can lean on Jesus, and He will comfort them. I ask that if you read this, please intercede daily for them. They will need support and strength, and prayer is the best way to go about it. It is the Christmas season, and it will be incredibly painful for them. Pray for peace and comfort.

God has relieved all of Mr. Scott’s pain, and he is rejoicing with all the people in heaven. He has never been happier, and will be waiting for the arrival of his family. His death may be a loss for this earth, but an eternal gain in heaven. Do not grieve over his death. He knew where he was going, and it does nothing to grieve over him being in heaven. Instead, pray incessantly for the family that is left behind. Their pain will be much greater than Mr. Scott’s ever was. If you had someone close to you die, you know the pain of being left here on earth. It is possibly the most gut-wrenching feeling you will ever experience.

I have often seen a plaque that has this saying on it: “If tears could build a stairway, and memories build a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven, and bring you home again.” Personally, I think this is horrible. If a person you love was suffering and died, would you really wish them back from heaven? In heaven, they are dancing on streets that are golden, and worshiping God at His holy throne. If they have been made perfect, how could you wish them back?

My point is, do not wish for what cannot be. Mr. Scott has been made perfect, and will rejoice for eternity. It does no good to wish him back here.
Thank you, God, for relieving the pain of Mr. Scott. Bring peace and comfort to the family, and let them see the joy of Mr. Scott as if they were there with him. Amen.
I want to pay a tribute to Mr. Scott through this blog, and not depress those who read it. I have written a poem for him, and would like to share it here.

He joined the angels today,
He has no pain and no more fear.
He joined the angels today,
And God has wiped away his every tear.
He joined the angels today,
And has been made whole and new.
He joined the angels today,
And has left this earthly view.
His joy has been made complete,
And he is praising his God of love,
He’s dancing with the angels,
And singing to the Lord Above.
He joined the angels today,
For an eternally wonderful stay.
He joined the angels today,
And his joy outshines the sun’s brightest rays.
I will not wish him back,
For he is happy and perfect, too.
I will not wish him back,
Because his body has been made new.
And now, I can rejoice for him,
No matter what the day,
Because he joined the angels today.

URGENT PRAYER NEEDED

2008-12-16T16:49:00.000-08:00

Most of you who read this probably know what is going on, but even if you don’t, please pray anyway.

Mr. Paul Scott has been living with ALS for quite a while, and his life is drawing to a close. He is on a ventilator, and his kidneys are failing. He is in so much pain, and needs prayer desperately. It is not too late for God to work a miracle. It has happened before.

The Scott family has six children: David and Coyote, who are in college, Anakin in fifth grade, Tabitha in fourth, Maya in second, and little Sarah just barely in Kindergarten. Mrs. Jacqueline Scott is a woman of great faith, who has stayed by her husband every step of the way. She is an awesome woman of faith, who is a hero in every way. She loves her husband with all her heart, and is heartbroken at the prospect of losing him.

This dear family goes to my church, and is a great example of acceptance and unconditional love. It is the Christmas season, and it is incredibly hard for them right now. Your prayers are most needed and appreciated.

When you pray, I want you to pray for his healing, but most of all for God’s will to be done. His pain is so great, it would not be kind to ask for him to hang on a little longer. If God lets him live for a little while longer, ask that it will be a pain free time. Ask God to do what is best, not what is most convenient. If you were dying and in a great amount of pain, would you want to go and meet your Lord and Savior, or suffer?

God works in amazing ways, and it is not too late to ask for a miracle. If it is God’s will for this man to die, then we can praise him. If it is for him to live, we will still praise him. The word “praise” is mentioned 351 times in the Bible, and it is not only when things are going well. Look at Job; his life was filled with tragedy, but he never slandered the name of the Lord. God does not ask us to praise him when we want to, but to praise him forever (see 2 Corinthians 11:31).

Pray for this family. Ask for strength and peace for the children, and the same for Mrs. Scott. This family will be hurting for quite some time if he dies. Ask God for His will.

Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three come together in my name, there I will be with them.” If we all pray, God will answer us. Please! Get on your knees and pray fervently for this hurting family.

I believe that God can work a miracle if we ask Him to. His answer may be no, but we can try.

Cookies or Christ?

2008-12-14T10:20:00.001-08:00

I love the Christmas season… It’s my favorite time of the year. I love the lights, trees, decorations, cookies, and the fun atmosphere. To me, Christmas is the most joyful season of all, not because of all the things I listed above (although the cookies are pretty important), but because I celebrate the birth of my Lord and Savior.

I have talked to many people who don’t celebrate Christ’s birth on December 25th, because some religious experts think he was probably born in the summertime. This always irritates me. For one thing, we don’t know when Jesus was born. Besides, does it really matter? As long as we’re celebrating Christ’s birth, does it really matter? I don’t think that when we get to heaven Jesus is going to say, “Well, my birthday was really July 27th.” Seriously, I don’t think He’ll care.

I want you to ask yourself this Christmas what you are focusing on. Are you worried about getting your Christmas cards out on time? Do you not have all your presents bought and wrapped? Are you worried about the number of people that are coming over on Christmas day? If you are, then you are not getting into the real spirit of the season. This whole holiday was created to worship the Baby that was born in a manger. Stop yourself and look around you. If you go to the mall, you can tell who is focused on stuff, and who is focused on the Birth. If you see harried women frantically running from store to store trying to get the best deals on the most things, then they are focused on the presents. If you see kids dragging their father to the toys and saying, “I want THAT one!” then they are focused on getting exactly the right thing. If you see a family walking leisurely making small talk and not hurrying, they aren’t worried about how many presents they are getting (or they have all their shopping done. Ha, ha.). If someone was watching you walk around the mall, what would they think? Are you consumed with the worldly aspect of Christmas, or are you focused on the true meaning of Christmas.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the Veggie Tales called “The Toy that Saved Christmas”, but it really captures the world’s perspective of Christmas. The children are so consumed with the toys they will receive, that they forget the real meaning of Christmas. So, a toy named “Buzz-saw-Louie” tells everyone in Bumblyburg that Christmas is not about the toys and material things that the kids will get, but about the birth of Baby Jesus.

Isn’t that what we Christians should do? Shouldn’t we proclaim to all the world that Jesus Christ is born? I challenge you to tell one person who doesn’t know what God has done for them about the birth of Jesus Christ. One person. That is all I’m asking. I think that you will find that it is very fulfilling.

If you are a Christian, focus on the manger scene. Think about the heavenly Baby that was sent to us in human form to save the world. Can you imagine what Christmas would be like if you did not have the joy and hope that the birth of Jesus brings? I think it would be extremely depressing after all the gifts are unwrapped and the cookies eaten. When everything is gone, so is the joy of giving and receiving presents. To the unbelievers, it is all over, and there is nothing more to celebrate. We as Christians can celebrate Jesus’ birth all year long for the rest of our lives.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, good grief!

2008-12-09T16:40:00.000-08:00

About a week ago, there was an article in my local newspaper that absolutely astounded me. The title is “Survey: Students cheat, steal in alarming numbers.” Evidently, a survey was taken of nearly 30,000 students at 100 random high schools. This caught my attention (because I am in high school), and I proceeded to read the article and was shocked at what I found. Here is just a piece of it:

“In the past year, 30 percent of the U.S. high school students have stolen from a store and 64 percent have cheated on a test, according to a new large-scale survey suggesting that Americans are too apathetic about ethical standards.”

As Charlie Brown would say, “Oh, good grief!” I couldn’t believe what that tiny little paragraph said! 30 percent have stolen from a store, and even more shockingly, 64 percent have cheated on a test. What is this world coming to?

It really was the last sentence of that paragraph that caught my attention ( “…suggesting that Americans are too apathetic about ethical standards.”). If you have ever read my dad’s blog, you can see that this last phrase is his whole point. My dad is trying to make people wake up and see the world through Christ’s eyes. If Jesus lived in our world today, do you think he would say we are “too apathetic about ethical standards”? I personally think he would! We as Christians should be able to stand up to the low standards, and create ones that are right in God’s eyes.

The article goes on to say things such as: “These kids have more opportunity to cheat. Their professors didn’t have the resources that they do now, so the temptation is greater.”

I don’t think that the temptation is any greater than it was twenty years ago. I think that today’s high school students are just weaker. We may have more opportunities to cheat or steal, but doesn’t 1 Corinthians 10:13 say that no temptation is too great to overcome? Doesn’t it say that God will always provide a way out?

God is not going to leave those who serve Him to fight off the evils of this world. When you are trapped by a temptation, turn to Him and He will help you do the right thing. If we do not succumb to the world’s mindset, it will not be nearly as difficult to resist temptation.
Here’s some more statistics to boggle your mind:

-- 35% of boys and 26% of girls admitted to stealing from a store within the past year.
--20% said they stole something from a friend.
--23% said they stole something from a parent or relative.
--38% said they cheated two or more times on a test.
--36% said they plagiarized an assignment from the internet.
--42% said they sometimes lie to save money.

The saddest part of the entire article is toward the end. “Despite such responses, 93% of the students said they were satisfied with their personal ethics and character, and 77% affirmed that ‘when it comes to doing what is right, I am better than most people I know.’”

If you are a high school student, do not strive to just be better than your friends. You are to work towards being like Christ. If you set a limit on how good you can be, you will never grow in your relationship with God. Don’t fool yourself; you should never be satisfied with how close you are to God. There is always room for improvement.

Choose to be different; it is not a bad thing. If you try to fit right in with everyone else, you will compromise your witness. You cannot tell people to do the right thing and then not do the right thing yourself. No one will respect your witness if you live the life of a hypocrite.

God wants you to follow His will for your life, and I can assure you that it does not include cheating or stealing. But if you have already cheated or stolen, there is always room for forgiveness.

Laughter

2008-12-01T13:12:00.000-08:00

The day of Thanksgiving was one of the most joyful I have ever had. Maybe it was because of the great food. Maybe it was because of the time I got to spend with my wonderful cousins. Maybe it was even because I didn’t have to worry about my problems!

But I know the truth: It was because I got to meet Esther.

This girl is two years old, and was adopted from China. She is my Mom’s-brother’s-wife’s-sister’s-daughter. (Whew!) I had not yet had the chance to meet her, and was really looking forward to it. I had heard about her from my cousins, but was anxious to meet her in person. I knew that her adoption from China was a wonderful story, and was very eager to hear it from Esther’s mother and father (Joyce and Dayton). When Joyce, Dayton, and Esther showed up on Thanksgiving day, I could see that they were so thankful for this sweet little toddler. I later learned that she was born in China and found abandoned in a garden. Joyce and Dayton adopted her when she was nine months old, and she has been a joy to them ever since.

I was so excited when the doorbell rang, and Esther walked through the door. I could not believe how adorable she was! Her sweet face was graced with a broad smile, and her eyes lit up with happiness. I knew instantly that I was going to like this little girl nick-named Essie.

The more I got to know her, I realized how often she laughed. This little child was so joyful and so beautiful, I could not imagine how thrilled her parents must have been when she was presented to them as Yang Fu Yuan. I cannot imagine the emotion of having a long-awaited baby placed in your arms. It is obvious that Joyce and Dayton have fallen in love with her, even though she is from a drastically different culture.

I could not get enough of her laugh. It came straight from the belly, and made every person in the room giggle out loud. My cousins and I thought up every possible way to make her laugh again and again and again. She was so happy, it did not take much.

Every person in the house sat around in the living room that night, not knowing what to do. It did not take long until we were all thinking of something to teach Esther. My mom began to teach her how to bow, and that kept us all laughing for quite a while! Essie began playing “Simon Says” with anyone who would participate, and it began growing later and later. The more we laughed, the more giddy Esther would become. Her infectious laugh spread throughout the room and had all of us rolling on the floor. Her beautiful smile shone and had everyone in a happy mood. Joyce finally announced that Esther truly did need to go to bed, and we soon followed. The next morning, it was as if everyone had a hangover, but not the usual type. We were all still giggling and happy. When we saw Esther the next day, the first thing we were greeted with was a bow and a giggle.

You would not believe how much a little laughter can affect someone. The two days that I spent with this sweet little girl were some of the best of my life. Her giggle showed me that I can be joyful if I only choose to be. I am not typically the laugh-at-everything-am-always-happy sort of person. I tend to be rather pessimistic. My pastor said several weeks ago that we choose to be either happy or sad. He asked this very thought provoking question: Are you joyful or jaundiced? I know which one I am, and I am not proud of it. If you know me well, you probably know that I am not happy all the time (although I don’t think anyone is) and don’t always look on the bright side.

I sincerely want to choose joy over sorrow now. I am going to work on this for as long as it takes so I can be like Esther. I don’t think anything has inspired me more lately than the laughter of my adopted cousin Esther. Her laugh has spread into my life and changed me.

Thank you, Essie, for your impact on my life! I know you can’t even read yet, but you are such an amazing girl. I know you will change many people throughout your life, and I can only say that I am thankful you were adopted by a family that can appreciate the laugh that God has given you. Live for God, sweetheart, and don’t let anything keep you from laughing.

My Scientific Ramblings

2008-11-28T18:45:00.000-08:00

WARNING: If you are not a science freak like me, you can go right on ahead and skip this blog.

I love science. This year I am doing Biology, and am loving all of it. I hope to one day be a Physician’s Assistant, so I guess it is a good thing that I like Biology.

This week, I learned about the scientific process of osmosis. The definition of osmosis is: the tendency of a solvent to travel through a semi-permeable membrane to areas of higher solute concentration.

If that went right over your head like it did mine, here is a simpler explanation. Osmosis is when you have a barrier (in this case a semi-permeable membrane) that separates two solutions. Both solutions have different amounts of molecules. Only certain molecules are allowed to pass through the membrane into the other side. The molecules that are not able to pass through are simply caught in the membrane, and filtered back out. When the molecules that are allowed make it to the other side, the water (or whatever solution you are using) levels change along with the concentration levels.

If you don’t understand this, don’t worry. It took me a while to understand it, too. I will not be offended if you stop right here and don’t read any further.

Okay, so I have finally reached the point of this very scientific blog.

While I was reading my text book, I started thinking that osmosis is kind of like the kingdom of heaven. Only those who have repented and been baptized may come into heaven. The same goes for osmosis. Only very specific molecules may pass through the membrane to make it to the other side.

Now most importantly you must understand that the membrane will only allow certain
molecules to pass through. It WILL reject the others.

God is not going to make exceptions for those who do not follow Him. We have to repent and be baptized (Acts 2:38) and live according to His will. God is kind, but he is also just. We do not deserve His offer of eternal life, yet he gives it to us readily. We need to make sure that our hearts are just right so we can pass through that “semi-permeable” membrane into the kingdom of heaven. Trust me: you do not want to be rejected.

Okay, so if you actually made it to the end of this blog, you are probably thinking that I am totally nuts (which I am). Yes, it is true, I am a science geek. This is probably the weirdest observation you have ever read, but I thank you for taking the time to read it.

And so ends my scientific ramblings.

Seize the Day!

2008-11-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

When I was in fourth grade, I had a really hard time. I was still in public school, and my teacher was horrible. I was very unhappy, and even considered running out the classroom door and all the way home. This was just a fantasy, but one that I thought about often. My teacher was fired at the end of the year after my class got up the courage to go talk to the principal together, and the next year my family decided to homeschool.

My fourth grade class really was a wonderful group of kids. We really became like family that year because of our teacher. It’s not that we became rebels and specifically set out to work against her. Don’t worry; we were much too scared of her to do anything like that. Instead, we relied on each other to get through our day. If you asked me today who all was in my class that year, I think I could name every single one.

One of the students in my class really sticks out in my mind. His name was Doug, and he was a very nice boy. He was taller than everyone, and very quiet, but he could be funny when he wanted to be. I guess you could say our friendship started in the lunch room. I had gotten waffles and sausages, and I couldn’t eat all of my sausages. Doug asked if he could have them, and I said yes. Unfortunately, we both forgot that we weren’t allowed to share food. The lunch lady walked by at just the wrong time, and saw Doug stabbing his fork into my sausage. She began reprimanding me for sharing my food with Doug, and I told her I was sorry. Doug stood up for me, and told the lunch lady that it was his fault: he had asked for the sausage. I didn’t really know Doug that well, but we were pretty good friends after that. To be honest, I was really scared of the lunch lady.

Doug and I weren’t close or anything, but he would tease me, and I would tease back. He was a football fan, and tried valiantly to get me to understand the game. Poor guy, he never did succeed.

One day, we were asked to write a story about a character (or characters) in a book. I chose to do Adam and Eve. I don’t really know why I picked the subject, as it is not my favorite Bible story, but I guess it was the first thing that popped into my head. I wrote my story, used my best cursive, and colored a border around each sheet of paper, and then turned it in. I don’t really remember how this came about, but Doug asked me if he could read my paper. I let him, and as he read, he began to frown. I asked him what was the matter, and he told me that he had never heard the story of Adam and Eve. To my 10-year-old mind, this was shocking. I thought everyone had heard about Adam and Eve! Doug began asking me lots of questions about the story, and I answered them, but not really to the best of my ability. I was very confused at how Doug could not have heard the story, and I didn’t really want to talk about it. I answered his questions, but not with very much interest. I was embarrassed, and I just wanted the subject to drop.

Oh, how I regret that day. I should have looked him in the eyes and told him everything I knew about the Bible. I should have told him about Jesus and His love for everyone who chooses to accept it! I should have done better. My heart aches for what I could have done. I so badly want to go back and change what I did. I could have planted the seeds in him so that one day he could choose for himself to be a follower of Christ. How could I have been so stupid?

My point is, no matter how busy you are, take the time to talk to people about God’s love. Don’t shrug them off and act like it is a burden. You will regret it. I regret it, and I was only 10-years-old. We must take every chance we have to show God’s love to those around us.

I’m reminded of a song by Carolyn Arends that applies to this blog: “Seize the day! Seize whatever you can, ‘cause life slips away just like hourglass sand. Seize the day, pray for grace from God’s hand, and nothing can stand in your way. Seize the day.”

Don’t wait until it’s too late. Seize the day, and spread God’s everlasting love.

Are you truly thankful?

2008-11-19T12:11:00.001-08:00

I don’t think we realize how blessed we really are.

I do not like the word “lucky”. I think luck is a figment of our imagination. We are not lucky, we are blessed.

Lately, I’ve been able to see how blessed I am to have my family. I have an AWESOME family. Maybe it’s because Thanksgiving is approaching. Maybe it’s because God has just put it on my heart. I don’t know, but I am so thankful for them.

Thank you, Dad, for being a wonderful father. Thank you for working so hard for us, so that we can have a wonderful life. Thank you for giving me the correction that I need, and showing me how to look at things through a Christian perspective. And I thank you even for helping me re-write my blogs so that they aren’t so offensive to other people! (Ha!) I love you so much.

Thank you, Mom, for taking the time every day to teach me. Most women would not want to give up their lives so they can homeschool their children. Thank you for making that sacrifice. It is worth it! I am deeply grateful for our late night talks. You always know when I need a shoulder to cry on. You have amazing insight and I am so glad I have you to turn to for wisdom and guidance. I love you more!

Thank you, Noah, for being such a servant. Your heart is as big as the world, and I think you will be able to do amazing things with it! I am so thankful that you are my brother. You are a wonderful 11-year-old, and I thank you for helping me when I am down. I love you.

Thank you, Lexi, for being the joy of my day! What would I do without your happy outlook on life? You have taught me so much about choosing joy over sorrow, and I thank you for it. You have brought so much love into my life. I love you, too.

So many girls my age are only concerned about themselves. I have had countless teens come up to me and complain about their parents, and whine about how unfair they are. If you are a teen, look around at your family through God’s eyes. Are your parents really as bad as you think? The answer is probably no. I know that being a teen is awkward and tough, but imagine being a parent of a teen. (Are you laughing yet?) We put our parents through so much heartache, and we don’t always apologize. This Thanksgiving, look around you, and be thankful for what you have been given.

So many times, I have seen girls my age out with their mom, just shopping or doing something of the sort. I see annoyance in their eyes as their mom asks them questions about their likes and dislikes, and about what is fashionable. Don’t treat your mother like she isn’t as smart as you. The fact of the matter is: you don’t know everything. You have not lived as long as her, and, if you give her the chance, she can teach you a lot about life. Don’t brush her off, or pretend that you don’t know her. She loves you, and wants you to treat her with respect out of love, not obligation.

I have also seen the way some girls treat their dads. I had one girl tell me once that, the only reason she let her dad take her out on “dates” was because she could always get her to buy her stuff. BAD IDEA. Don’t love your father for worldly reasons. Love him because God tells you to. “Honor your father and mother,” Exodus 20:12. This verse does not have conditions put on it. It simply says to honor them.

Treat your siblings with respect as well. You only have so many years with them, and then you will move on to your own family. Do not waste your time with them through arguing. Simply love them, and treat them with respect, even if they do not reciprocate the love.

This Thanksgiving season, look around you and see how wonderful your family really is. Even if your family is not perfect (nobody’s is), look at your many blessings.

Thank you, my dear family, for providing me with the love and support I need to grow up in this world. I love you so much.

Life from a spanked child

2008-11-11T13:56:00.000-08:00

I have met countless people who do not spank their children. Most of them believe it is a form of abuse, and should not be used on kids. I was spanked when I was younger, and I never found it to be a form of abuse. Although, I didn’t like it - who would? It’s supposed to be a punishment, right? - it was probably the most effective form of punishment I ever experienced. I never felt like my mom or dad was beating me, because they always did it out of love, not anger. I’m sure that there are many instances when a parent is angry and spanks their child for the wrong reasons, but my parents are not included in that group. When I did something wrong, I would be sent to the bathroom, and I would wait there for several minutes. I never knew why I had to wait so long, but I now know that it was because my parents would calm themselves so they could discipline me in a loving manner. It always brought out true repentance in my heart, and I always felt better after I was disciplined accordingly.

My parents are probably the best disciplinarians I have ever met! They are able to come up with many creative forms of discipline that help my siblings and I to understand what we did wrong, and more importantly, how to correct it. My mom came up with a real winner when I was in first grade. I was a very grumpy child in first grade, because I was bored to death. I was still in public school at that time, and, if you’ve ever experienced first grade, it is all about learning how to read. I was so bored with all the phonics, as I had learned to read two years earlier. My teacher, who was a very nice lady, couldn’t give me the attention that I needed, so she sent me out in the hall with a book and a worksheet about it. I spent much of my time in the hall reading all by myself. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love to read, and would have much rather been out in the hall than in the classroom, but I was very lonely. By the end of the day, I was a real grump. I know that is no excuse for being grumpy, but it is true. Well, one day, I really got up on the wrong side of the bed, and was not being very nice to anyone. My mom came to me, and very calmly said, “Molly, I want you to go in the bathroom and sing ‘This is the Day’ at the top of your lungs until you can be happy.” This terrified me. I was not a very loud child, and I did NOT sing in public. I know now that my mom did this out of love, but back then, I was mad. I obeyed, but I highly doubt that I was happy about it. I went in the bathroom and began singing very softly, “This is the day, this is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made. I will rejoice, I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it, and be glad in it.” Pretty soon, Mom’s voice filters in saying, “Molly, I can’t hear you. Sing a bit louder!” I don’t really remember the rest of the story, but Mom told me many years later that she could hardly keep herself from laughing as my voice boomed out into the house! It sure is funny! (Now anyway…)

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to someone’s house to babysit and they begin going down a list of instructions. “Give the baby her bottle at 7:00.” “Put him to bed at 8:00.” “Make sure he eats his dinner.” All of these are just part of babysitting, but my least favorite one to hear is, “Oh, you won’t have to worry about spanking. We don’t do that.” When I hear these words, a groan wells up inside me. I know that the children will not be on their best behavior if I have no means of discipline. (This is not true for all un-spanked children. I have met some wonderful ones.) I have tried “time out”, and was even subject to it myself several times, but I can tell you from personal experience, it is not very effective. For me, I always just waited out the timer, said I was sorry, but never really felt like I was truly sorry for my mistakes. I’m sure it works on many children, but it did not work on me. I really didn’t mind being in time out; it did not really feel like a punishment.

Please don’t get me wrong… I’m sure that some of these methods work on many children. This blog is just from my personal experience with different methods of discipline. If you choose to spank, please make sure you do it out of love, not anger. Trust me, the child is able to tell. I think one of the hardest things to understand as a child is when your parents discipline you out of love. Talk to your children, and help them understand that you discipline them because you love them. Remember Proverbs 13:24: “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” I am not a mom, and I do not know how hard it is to spank a child (although I’m sure I will find out someday), but please consider your decision carefully. Another good verse is Proverbs 23:13 which says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.”

If I could thank my parents for only one thing, it would be for spanking me when I was younger. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for giving me the correction I needed out of love and not out of anger. I love you very much.

An example to follow?

2008-11-09T10:56:00.000-08:00

I do a lot of babysitting, and I always find that I have to set an example for the children I babysit. Not too long ago, I was babysitting for three little boys. We decided to take a walk around the neighborhood, so I loaded the youngest into a stroller and let the older two lead the way. While we were walking, the oldest child began telling me a story. I can’t honestly recall what it was about, but I just remember that after he had finished, I remarked that one of the characters had done something dumb, and that the child shouldn’t follow the character’s example. The oldest child’s eyes got wide and he began shaking his finger at me. When I asked him what was the matter, he said, “Mommy says that dumb is a bad word, and we should never say it! Ever!” By then, I realized I had made a mistake and began apologizing. I told him that he was right, and I should never have said that word. When we arrived home, he ran inside yelling, “Mommy! Molly said a bad word! Molly said “dumb”! What should we do with her?” I turned bright red and began stammering an apology, but the mother pulled me aside and said that it was okay, I didn’t know. She said that she just wanted to keep that word out of her boys’ vocabulary for a little while longer. I was embarrassed, but glad the mom wasn’t angry.

Several Sundays ago, my pastor said something that stuck in my head. He was speaking specifically to the fathers in our church, but it applies to me, too. He told the fathers that whatever their children see them doing, they (meaning the children) are more likely to do.

I also need to be careful when I am around young children. I know that there have been several times when I have made a small error, and have been imitated by a child who witnessed my mistake. At moments like this, I realize how much of an influence I have over the people around me, especially children. Although this might make some people feel powerful, it scares me. I didn’t know that the children I work with in the nursery, babysit, or am just around look to me as an example.

The question I must ask is, am I a good example? I know I work hard to be a good influence over everyone I meet, but I wish I didn’t have to work so hard. Honestly, I wish it just came naturally! Titus 2:7-8 has this to say: “In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.” I want to follow this verse to the letter!

I encourage everyone who reads this to examine your own life and see if you are setting an example that you would want other people to follow. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and ask yourself this question: “Would I follow my own example if I was someone else?” I hope that setting a good example comes easily to you! It is not always easy for me, but I am going to work hard to set a good example all the time.

Join me today in asking this question every day when you wake up: Are you setting an example to be followed?

We Must Pray

2008-11-04T21:01:00.000-08:00

(I am not trying to put you down if you are a woman who has had an abortion. Please understand that I am not judging you in any way, I am only stating my beliefs. If you are a woman who has gone through this experience, please do not feel burdened in any way by this blog.)

I watched the election tonight, and my heart hurts. This is not only because most of the people I was rooting for lost, nor is it because Colorado was categorized as a blue state (although these things do disappoint me). My heart aches because of the outcome of Amendment 48. This amendment defines the word “person” to include any human being from the moment of conception. This could have possibly led to abortion being viewed as murder, instead of the easiest option out of a pregnancy. Sadly, this amendment was defeated. 74% of people in Colorado voted to overturn this amendment. That means that 74 % of the citizens in Colorado do not think babies should be characterized as “persons” at the moment of conception!
To me, this is appalling. I hate the thought of so many people thinking that it is okay to abort a baby. I am a Christian, so I believe that God has a purpose for each and every baby. Psalm 139:13 says, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.”

To me, this means that at the moment of fertilization, it becomes a baby; a living, breathing, baby who may grow up to be a doctor, lawyer, politician, or any one of the many possibilities. Because this amendment was turned over, millions more babies will be killed without ever having the chance to take their first steps. Right now, over 4,000 babies are aborted each day in America. 50 million abortions occur each year just in America! Think how many more people could be used for God’s purposes if they had lived to see their first birthdays.

God gives life to all things, including babies. We must pray with all our might that God will intervene and save these babies' lives. We must pray for our country, and for the president. Even if Obama is not the man we voted for, we must pray for him and his future decisions. He now has a mighty influence over our country, and he could use it for good or bad. We must pray that he will make the right decisions, and not be influenced by the world. Our country is a powerful and wonderful country. We have a great influence over the rest of the world, and much of the world looks to us for help in times of need. We need to make sure that our example is a good one that shows God’s love and power in our lives.

Please join me in praying for our country and all that is to come in the next four years. Please pray for the millions of babies being aborted every year. If we want our country to be strong and have eternal foundations, we must pray ceaselessly for it. I am going to commit to praying for my country and all of its leaders. I hope you will join me.

God Bless America.

Am I the only one?

2008-11-02T12:46:00.001-08:00

Lately, I have been hearing about a series of books that is very popular with girls my age. I’m usually very skeptical about popular reading material, so I found an article in WORLD magazine that helped me better understand what the books were about. The review said that the books are filled with immoral love scenes, and even deal with vampires. The covers of the books are very creepy and have haunting titles.

I have heard about these books from many girls, even some Christian ones. I heard many people discuss the characters, and talk about the movie which comes out next month. I had already decided that I would not read these books, and was shocked to hear that nearly every girl I met had read all four of the books in the series. As I watched teenage girls talk about these “amazing” books, I could see a gleam of hunger in their eyes. They just couldn’t seem to get enough of whatever was contained in the pages of these books. To me, they seemed obsessed. They couldn’t stop talking about them, and were moaning that the movie wouldn’t come out for another month.

I felt as if I were staring through a one way glass, looking at a group of people who are blind, and cannot see the truth. I feel as if I am the only one who can see that these books should not be read, especially by Christian girls. Why are such young girls filling their heads with material that only pollutes their mind and thoughts? Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think on such things.” Even though I haven’t read these books, I know that they are not what girls my age should be filling their minds with. Someone that I believe has the sagacity to determine whether the books are wholesome or not skimmed just the first few chapters and told me that they are not appropriate for anyone to read!

I can’t help but ask myself, why? Why are young teens reading books filled with words that are only a temptation to do the wrong thing? Why are so many Christian girls reading these books at all? Am I the only one who is able to discern what I should and should not read? It is not hard to begin reading a book, but it is very hard to stop. I believe that my generation needs to realize that, even though something is popular, that doesn’t make it okay. We need to develop a discerning heart. If we are able to discern what is right and wrong, our minds will not become impure. We need to be able to look at something and say, “No! God says that this is wrong, so I will take no part in it!”

Although these books are only one example of many, it is what has really been bothering me lately. I look around at the world and think “Am I the only one?” I feel all alone, but I will not let my loneliness keep me from doing what is right. I will not do things that go against God’s will just to fit in and be popular. I want to teach people to have a discerning spirit and a conscience, but more importantly to listen to what God says is wrong and stand up for what is right. I am different, and I will not let anyone or anything make me stumble and fall away from God’s will for my life.

Send me!

2008-10-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

I don’t know if you are familiar with Focus on the Family, but they have a radio drama called “Adventures in Odyssey”. Just recently, they released a set called “The Truth Chronicles”. The purpose of this collection is to teach kids about the importance of worldview and standing up for their beliefs. The first episode in the set is entitled “Here Am I”. It goes through a story in which Connie Kendall, a high school girl struggling with the idea of worldview, dreams about heaven and the influence that her worldview has over every decision she makes. At the end of the episode, Connie dreams she is in heaven and that there are creatures with wings flying all around her. One of these creatures (called a seraph) comes to her and touches a piece of coal to her lips to represent taking away her sin. (This is described in Revelation 4.) The voice of God booms out over all the heavens saying “Whom shall I send? Who will go to be our messenger?” To this Connie replies with much conviction, “Here am I, Lord. Send me!”

This episode touched my heart and showed me that I have not fully dedicated myself to the Lord. I have always held a piece of myself back from Him, out of fear. I did not want to commit my life into His hands completely, because I feared being sent to a distant country as a missionary. Why did I fear this? It was because of the torture I have read about. If I am a Christian, should I not be willing to go through anything to serve my Lord and Savior? If I was fully devoted to Him, would I still be afraid of dying for my faith? The answer is no. I should be willing to go to any length to spread the Word of the Lord. As I listened to this drama, a part of my soul that I had kept hidden away for many years opened. I realized that I no longer want to do things on my own. I want everything to be in God’s hands. I know He will take care of me, and that I have nothing to fear while I am serving Him. I struggled for a long time because I didn’t feel like I was connecting with God. I now believe that it was because I was living in a way that said, “God I give you my life and my heart….except for this little piece.” God wants all of us! Not just the parts that we want to give to Him. James 4:7 says this: “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” This verse does not say to give God part of yourself, but simply to give all of it.
I write this today to tell the world that I am not going live my life in fear of what is to come.

Today, I want to live for God in everything and do exactly what he wants me to do. I do not know what he has in store for me, but I now want to do whatever it is he asks of me. If this means becoming a missionary to Africa and living there for the rest of my life, I will do it. If it means being a stay at home mom, I will do it. If it means serving in China at an orphanage to save children, I will do it. If it means dying in prison for my faith, I will do it, and I will not be afraid.

I say these words now, and I mean them with all my heart: “Here am I, Lord. Send me!”

My First Blog

2008-10-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

I'm new at this blogging thing, so I apologize if it is kind of lame. My mom and dad have both started blogs this last year, and I've seen how they have influenced other people to look at the world in a different way. I have lots of ideas rattling around in my head that I really want to write down, but somehow I manage to keep putting it off. Instead of avoiding them, I'm going to blog my thoughts and ideas.

I suppose I should introduce myself now... My name is Molly Michele Metzger and I am fourteen years old. I am homeschooled and in 9th grade. My passion is dancing, and my lifelong dream came true in August. I was accepted to take pointe at the studio where I dance. I love to dance en pointe, but enjoy tap and lyrical just as much.
My life is dedicated to serving the one and only God. I was baptized on May 18th, 2002, in the bathrub of my parents' bathroom. On that day I promised God that I would never stray from the path that He has chosen for me. My sin was taken away, and, although I make many mistakes, they are wiped off my record by Jesus' cleansing blood.

My dad, Alan, works at General Electric, but is attempting to start his own Christian media company (click here for his blog and website). He is a loving father and husband and I look up to him in many ways.

My mom, Wendy, is a full time teacher for myself and my siblings, and has taught many wonderful classes on mothering at our church. (click here for her blog.) I am told that I become more like her everyday, and that makes me glow with pride, because I want to be just like her!

My brother, Noah, is eleven years old, and enjoys building lego sets and making movies. He's very sensitive to my feelings and is a great support to me when I'm going through something difficult.

Lexi is my bubbly eight year old sister who enjoys jazz dancing and talking! She is very energetic and uses it to cheer up everyone she meets. Although we are polar opposites, I enjoy being around her because she lifts my spirits.

My dog, Linus, is the funny one of the family. He entertains us all with his many quirks and habits, but especially by coming up to us and saying, "Mama!" He may be almost three-years-old, but he has not grown up at all!

I hope that by starting a blog, I can teach people who do not know Jesus what being a Christian is like. I do not want this to be a place where people com, read my blogs, and then walk away feeling depressed. Instead, I want it to be uplifting to those who are sad and comforting to those who are discouraged. I may be coming from a completely different worldview than you are, but this is my take on life and the world around me.

As you can see, I am not your average teen.