It’s late. Far too late. Why I’m writing this in the middle of the night is beyond me. Perhaps it is because I keep wavering between fear and excitement and I need to get my emotions down on paper.
Tomorrow is the day I have been waiting for: I finally get to submit my application
to nursing school!
I’m trying so desperately not to give in to the fear that threatens to overwhelm me.
I’ve learned throughout this last semester that trusting and obeying what God is telling me to do is absolutely the best way to relinquish my fears. I have been a witness to God’s faithfulness for so long, and I have especially seen it throughout this last semester.
My friends, God is SO good. I have been utterly blessed throughout this whole college experience, though at times it seemed so dark and scary. I have grown to be able to trust in what God is doing and how he can work through me in circumstances that seem hopeless. I’m not going to give into the fear that I so often succumb to. I’m choosing tonight to give this completely over to God: there is nothing more I can do but wait, trust, and continue to serve my Lord.
I received the following verses as blessings from my family and friends for my birthday, and they fit so well with this situation. Is it not incredible how you can read a verse a hundred times and yet one day it becomes even more meaningful?
“Cast your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you…” (1 Peter 5:7)
Lord, I have seen your faithfulness and the way you constantly watch over me. I have been delivered out of so many terrifying situations, and it is so evident that you care about everything that happens to me.
“Turn my heart toward your statues and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word…” (Psalm 119:36-37)
Lord, I want only to do your will. I believe that nursing is the passion that you have placed in my heart, but ultimately I desire only to serve you. If nursing is not my path, then I trust you. If it is, then I trust you. Preserve my life, Lord, and direct me with your word.
“Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing…” (2 Timothy 2:21)
I am your vessel, Lord, and I will go where you send me. Let my ultimate desire be to serve you.
“Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart, I will glorify your name forever…” (Psalm 86:11)
No matter what happens, Lord, I will serve you. With undivided attention, I will follow you.
“The Lord within her is righteous; He does no wrong. Morning by morning he dispenses his justice and every new day He does not fail…” (Zephaniah 3:5)
You have been faithful before, you will be faithful again. I know you do not fail, Lord Jesus, and I trust myself in your hands.
“We’re being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life…” (Titus 2:12)
I praise you, Lord, for the life you have given me. Let my life be what You desire and let it honor you forever.
“The shaft of his spear was like a weaver’s beam, and his spear’s head weighed six hundred shekels of iron. And his shield bearer went before him…” (1 Samuel 17:7)
Lord, I do not need an army to protect me as Goliath required. I need only You to go before me and guide my steps.
“May the God of hope fill you will al joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit…” (Romans 15:13)
I have a hope and a peace, Lord! You will go before me and lead me onward. I have such a deep trust in the fact that your will is being done.
I trust you, Lord, and leave this in your hands. Thank you for your faithfulness and your incredible blessings.
May it be so!
1 year ago