Home

Home.

Home is where your family always cares and always loves.

Home is where your dog will run to the door to greet you even though you have only been gone for a few minutes.

Home is where you can find rest and comfort in your family and your friends.

Home is where your church will take care of you in a time of need.

Home is where people care enough to say, “How are you today?”

Home is where your friends write you spontaneously just to tell you they care.

Home is where you make new friends and keep the old.

Home is encouraging and comforting.

Home is where you belong.

Home is where your mother will hold you after a hard day.

Home is where your brother will tell you that you are beautiful, even if you only have on jeans and a sweatshirt.

Home is where friends ask you to go ice skating, even though you don’t really belong with their group.

Home is where your sister holds you while you cry over the trials of life.

Home is where your father congratulates you on a scholarship to the college of your choice.

Home is where you can dance at any time in any place.

Home is where you can curl up with a cup of tea and your Bible and seek God’s wisdom.

Home is forever.

Home is unconditional.

This is not my home.

My home is in heaven.

At home, I will not have tears.

At home, I won’t have to take medication for my uncontrollable pain.

At home, I won’t need my Bible…I can get it straight from the mouth of my Savior.

At home, I will have countless friends who love and care for me, but most of all worship the same Savior as I do.

At home, I will have my church around me; my church will worship at the feet of Jesus.

At home, I can dance for my Lord with sweet abandon, and not worry about what others think.

At home, I will be made a new creation, and won’t need to be told I’m beautiful.

At home, I will have a host of angels cheering me through the Gates of Heaven and showing me my name in the Book of Life.

At home, there is eternal peace and love.

At home, I am safe and secure.

At home, I can bow at the feet of my Jesus and praise his name forever.

This is home.

“But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.” Hebrews 11:16

Nine Years Ago...

I can’t believe that it has been nine years since I became a Christian. I was eight years old, and I remember everything about that day so clearly. For months, I had been taking long walks around the neighborhood with my parents discussing all the aspects of God that I wanted to understand. I remember how on May 18, 2002, there was an urgency in my spirit that was crying out. I went to my parents and asked them with big tears in my eyes if I could be baptized. We invited some of the most important people in my life (my grandparents, first-grade teacher, and my family) to share in the celebration of the biggest decision I ever made.
This year has been a tough one for me. Between learning how to handle college-level courses, growing up, and getting treated unjustly on several different counts, my relationship with Jesus has grown in three main areas: Faith, Prayer, and Compassion.

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#1 – Faith.

I am not proud of the way I handled a lot of things this year, but I know that the tears that I cried late into the night were all for a reason. My college level classes stretched me not so much academically, but in learning how to deal with real-life situations. It was hard for me to go to class, hear all of the negative comments, foul language, and sad life-stories and not come home depressed or overwhelmed. Having a teacher that disagreed with me on almost every count did not help, either. However, I learned through this experience that, even in the hard times, it’s okay to let God take the lead.

There were about two weeks in April where I literally just lost it. I cried every day, and decided that I did not want to be a nurse. I screamed and shouted at God, demanding that he change the plan he has for me. I decided that college was not a Biblically sound choice for a woman and that if I went, I wouldn’t learn anything, and I would only be wasting time and money. And I decided this all in a two-week period where I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Yeah, that wasn’t a smart idea. Then one night, I listened to Britt Nicole’s song, “Have Your Way” at least eight times on the way home from work. I got home and just cried out to God, asking him to help me. I gave up my will, my wants, and my way and let him once more take the lead. Taking a leap of faith is not something I like to do, but I felt God call me so clearly, that I knew there was no other way. I had exhausted every other path, and come up with nothing but heartache and confusion. I do not know if God is still leading me to nursing, but I am confident that I can trust him, follow him, and let him lead me through every area of my life, whether I like it or not!

#2 – Prayer

I think prayer is the area of Christianity that I struggle with almost constantly. I get so distracted when I pray out loud, but I don’t go very deep if I only journal. I feel like I learned this year how to pray almost constantly; in the shower, in the car, at work, during school, and at dance. When I see someone who needs prayer, I have tried to just stop right there and pray for them. Maybe my prayers are not very long, but I try to make them meaningful. There have been countless opportunities for me to witness in the past few months, and I have been trying to take them all, making sure I reach the people who are in need. I know I will always struggle with prayer, but I am glad that I can always come to Jesus with the situations I am put in!

#3 – Compassion

I am not always a very compassionate person. Well, that’s not completely true…I can be very compassionate to young children, but I am not good at being compassionate with my siblings or adults. Inside my head, I often think, “Oh, brother…” or “Just get over it!” and I know these thoughts are not from God. I have tried to focus on being sweet and full of grace in every situation. Believe me, it’s NOT easy, and I am still working hard on it!

I saw a video clip this year entitled, “Every Life Has a Story.” It really enlightened me to the fact that those who treat me unfairly do it because of something else in their life. Perhaps they are only taking out their anger on me because they are truly angry at somebody else. I hate being treated with disrespect, and I have had too many instances this year in which I have gotten angry and lashed out at someone, only to find out that what they are going through is much worse than my situation. It hurts when people hurt you, but I promise, if you love them instead of retaliate, you will not feel awful later. This year, when I have been treated unfairly, I have asked God to rain down blessings upon that person. Somehow, asking God to bless, instead of curse, these people has helped me realize that their story may explain the reason why they are choosing to hate me. I may never know why, but if I choose to show compassion instead of hatred, I will be satisfied, and God will be pleased.

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May 18, 2011. My ninth spiritual birthday. Wow. God has helped me through so much in these nine years, and I can’t imagine what I will be able to say I have learned by next year.

I want to make an apology to my family. Mom, Dad, I’m sorry I’ve been disrespectful and scared about college and what I think God has in store for me. You are more often than not right about life, and I really will try to listen to what you have to say. I love you both so much. To Noah and Lexi, I love you both, and will try to show compassion toward you when you need it. I would do ANYTHING for you, and I pray we get to spend some quality time together in my last year of high school! To my Grandma and Grandpa, thank you for the extra love and care, and for taking me out to lunch to give me some good straight talking! You have no idea what an impact it has made on me.

And last of all, though certainly not least, I’m sorry Jesus for not trusting you. You are my God and King, and I will serve you until the end of my days.

Amen, amen!

Are you truly thankful?

I don’t think we realize how blessed we really are.

I do not like the word “lucky”. I think luck is a figment of our imagination. We are not lucky, we are blessed.

Lately, I’ve been able to see how blessed I am to have my family. I have an AWESOME family. Maybe it’s because Thanksgiving is approaching. Maybe it’s because God has just put it on my heart. I don’t know, but I am so thankful for them.

Thank you, Dad, for being a wonderful father. Thank you for working so hard for us, so that we can have a wonderful life. Thank you for giving me the correction that I need, and showing me how to look at things through a Christian perspective. And I thank you even for helping me re-write my blogs so that they aren’t so offensive to other people! (Ha!) I love you so much.

Thank you, Mom, for taking the time every day to teach me. Most women would not want to give up their lives so they can homeschool their children. Thank you for making that sacrifice. It is worth it! I am deeply grateful for our late night talks. You always know when I need a shoulder to cry on. You have amazing insight and I am so glad I have you to turn to for wisdom and guidance. I love you more!

Thank you, Noah, for being such a servant. Your heart is as big as the world, and I think you will be able to do amazing things with it! I am so thankful that you are my brother. You are a wonderful 11-year-old, and I thank you for helping me when I am down. I love you.

Thank you, Lexi, for being the joy of my day! What would I do without your happy outlook on life? You have taught me so much about choosing joy over sorrow, and I thank you for it. You have brought so much love into my life. I love you, too.

So many girls my age are only concerned about themselves. I have had countless teens come up to me and complain about their parents, and whine about how unfair they are. If you are a teen, look around at your family through God’s eyes. Are your parents really as bad as you think? The answer is probably no. I know that being a teen is awkward and tough, but imagine being a parent of a teen. (Are you laughing yet?) We put our parents through so much heartache, and we don’t always apologize. This Thanksgiving, look around you, and be thankful for what you have been given.

So many times, I have seen girls my age out with their mom, just shopping or doing something of the sort. I see annoyance in their eyes as their mom asks them questions about their likes and dislikes, and about what is fashionable. Don’t treat your mother like she isn’t as smart as you. The fact of the matter is: you don’t know everything. You have not lived as long as her, and, if you give her the chance, she can teach you a lot about life. Don’t brush her off, or pretend that you don’t know her. She loves you, and wants you to treat her with respect out of love, not obligation.

I have also seen the way some girls treat their dads. I had one girl tell me once that, the only reason she let her dad take her out on “dates” was because she could always get her to buy her stuff. BAD IDEA. Don’t love your father for worldly reasons. Love him because God tells you to. “Honor your father and mother,” Exodus 20:12. This verse does not have conditions put on it. It simply says to honor them.

Treat your siblings with respect as well. You only have so many years with them, and then you will move on to your own family. Do not waste your time with them through arguing. Simply love them, and treat them with respect, even if they do not reciprocate the love.

This Thanksgiving season, look around you and see how wonderful your family really is. Even if your family is not perfect (nobody’s is), look at your many blessings.

Thank you, my dear family, for providing me with the love and support I need to grow up in this world. I love you so much.