Send me!

I don’t know if you are familiar with Focus on the Family, but they have a radio drama called “Adventures in Odyssey”. Just recently, they released a set called “The Truth Chronicles”. The purpose of this collection is to teach kids about the importance of worldview and standing up for their beliefs. The first episode in the set is entitled “Here Am I”. It goes through a story in which Connie Kendall, a high school girl struggling with the idea of worldview, dreams about heaven and the influence that her worldview has over every decision she makes. At the end of the episode, Connie dreams she is in heaven and that there are creatures with wings flying all around her. One of these creatures (called a seraph) comes to her and touches a piece of coal to her lips to represent taking away her sin. (This is described in Revelation 4.) The voice of God booms out over all the heavens saying “Whom shall I send? Who will go to be our messenger?” To this Connie replies with much conviction, “Here am I, Lord. Send me!”

This episode touched my heart and showed me that I have not fully dedicated myself to the Lord. I have always held a piece of myself back from Him, out of fear. I did not want to commit my life into His hands completely, because I feared being sent to a distant country as a missionary. Why did I fear this? It was because of the torture I have read about. If I am a Christian, should I not be willing to go through anything to serve my Lord and Savior? If I was fully devoted to Him, would I still be afraid of dying for my faith? The answer is no. I should be willing to go to any length to spread the Word of the Lord. As I listened to this drama, a part of my soul that I had kept hidden away for many years opened. I realized that I no longer want to do things on my own. I want everything to be in God’s hands. I know He will take care of me, and that I have nothing to fear while I am serving Him. I struggled for a long time because I didn’t feel like I was connecting with God. I now believe that it was because I was living in a way that said, “God I give you my life and my heart….except for this little piece.” God wants all of us! Not just the parts that we want to give to Him. James 4:7 says this: “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” This verse does not say to give God part of yourself, but simply to give all of it.
I write this today to tell the world that I am not going live my life in fear of what is to come.

Today, I want to live for God in everything and do exactly what he wants me to do. I do not know what he has in store for me, but I now want to do whatever it is he asks of me. If this means becoming a missionary to Africa and living there for the rest of my life, I will do it. If it means being a stay at home mom, I will do it. If it means serving in China at an orphanage to save children, I will do it. If it means dying in prison for my faith, I will do it, and I will not be afraid.

I say these words now, and I mean them with all my heart: “Here am I, Lord. Send me!”