Reflections

This past week was my first taste of summer vacation. It was nice not having to get up and face a day full of Geometry, Government, Economics, Latin, Biology, and many other things. Although I love school, I also love to sleep late in the morning.
While I enjoyed my first summer days I reflected a lot on this past year. This was my first year in high school, and a lot of things happened. Most of these things were good, but even the bad things made an impact on my life.

At the beginning of the school year, I found out what it meant to truly have to work to get good grades. I have always been able to get good grades with little effort, and it was a shock to me to suddenly find that my work was hard. I learned very quickly that high school is NOT all it’s cracked up to be. It may be some of the best years of my life, but the constant studying, writing, and confusion got to me, but I was able to work through it (sometimes through tears) and get the grade I wanted. (Note to readers: If you follow my blog, you probably have noticed that I have not been posting as often as I used to. This is mainly due to an intensive Literary Analysis course. I wrote so many essays, I did not have any creative energy left to put into my blog. I apologize, and promise to post more faithfully this summer.)

In addition to learning how to work hard and do my best, I learned how prayer works. Around Christmas, a dear man, Mr. Scott flew to Jesus, leaving behind six children and a wife. I have never prayed harder in my life. I wanted God to heal Mr. Scott and make everything perfect again. But God didn’t. He took Mr. Scott home, and left the family all alone. And yet, I finally came to understand that I shouldn’t mourn for him! He was in heaven and made whole. Through a dark, sad time of my life, I learned that God’s plan is perfect, and I should never try to override His authority.

One of the hardest things that happened to me this year was finding out that my closest friend is moving to Fiji. This friend has truly been my kindred spirit through some very difficult times in my life. This friend has helped me stay away from the things that make me stumble and has encouraged me every step of the way in my spiritual life. For one to three years, I will have nearly no contact with her, and will no longer be able to enjoy her companionship. I love you, my friend, and am praying for you with all my might. Through this difficult experience, I learned that I do not lean on God hardly at all. I like to be in charge, and I like to know exactly what is coming up ahead. God showed me that I cannot always be in control. I have to let go and let Him take the wheel.

In March, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a chronic nerve disorder that causes severe fatigue, joint pain, and brain fog. I felt sorry for myself for quite a while, and felt pretty sad. Fibromyalgia never goes away, and I will have to live with it for the rest of my life. I was sad for a long time, and then I realized that God has given me this condition for a reason. I do not have any idea what that reason is yet, but I am sure it will be revealed to me eventually. God once again showed me that His plan is perfect and I should never doubt it.

Although all these things so far have been bad, there have been many good things, too. However, it seems that the most important lessons are learned from the more difficult things. This year, I have learned: what true joy is from my cousin Esther, what it is to be seven years old in the Lord, how important and supportive my family is to me, what complete forgiveness feels like after a rocky friendship, and what an awesome God I worship.

Thank you to all my readers for sharing my journey in Christ, and for supporting me along the way. Please leave comments, as they are a great encouragement to me.