On the Surface

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that lasted a little while, but when you stopped talking you realized you really hadn’t said anything of lasting importance? Have you ever taken a class on an important subject and had a teacher who just barely covered the needed information? Or have you gone to a church that ignores the touchy subjects and preaches all fluff?

These things surround us every day, and yet we do nothing about them. I am blessed enough to have a wonderful church with a minister who leaves no subject untouched. My minister says what needs to be said and does not sugarcoat the words so as to make them easier to swallow. I’m so glad I can ask him a question, and he will give me an honest, godly opinion.

Although I have a wonderful church and don’t have to fight very many battles within my congregation, I do face instances everyday that hurt my heart and my soul. For instance, a little while ago, I was in a Bible class with many teenagers my own age. We were asked to find a book of the Bible, and as I flipped to it, I saw many of the Christian teenagers around me going to the Table of Contents to find the book of the Bible. This saddened me that they had not become familiar enough with their Bibles to know the order of the books. (I learned them when I was young by putting them to a melody of a song. And yes, I still sing the song in my head sometimes when I’m trying to find something!) I didn’t think much of this until the Bible teacher asked how many people had read their entire Bible. (Note: This was not a class of new Christians… These were mostly people who had grown up in the church all their lives.) I raised my hand expecting every hand to go up. Of about twenty people, only three or four raised their hands.

This surprised me greatly. I had no idea that so very few high school Christians had read their entire Bible. I didn’t know it was so unusual to have read the entire Bible, much less many times! I just assumed that every Christian had done so at some point in their life. That’s when I realized that the expectations are so low in the present culture that even Christians have succumbed to them.

It hurt me to know that even Christians who had grown up in Christian families were not taking the time to delve deeper into the Word of God.

I have often watched Christian teenagers listen to a powerfully impacting message and say they are going to change and try to do better. Unfortunately, it seems to last not much longer than a week! The hearts of teens today are so hard; it takes many blows to break them down into what Jesus would want. I feel bad for the ministers and teachers who pour their lives into changing teens, only to see results for a little while. It must be so discouraging at times.

And then something else hit me so hard, I was about knocked over.

I realized how self-righteous I was being! I was condemning all these people for not living up to God’s expectations, even though I was also failing miserably! Yes, I may have read the Bible many times, have quiet times daily, and pray, but how many times have I listened to a heart-wrenching sermon and only said, “Hmmm. That’s interesting. Someone should do something about that!” Why can’t I be the person to change that! Why can’t I make a ripple in the pond that will not just scratch the surface, but dig deep into the very core of the lives of people! I want to make a difference!

But I don’t know how. Or at least, I don’t want to know how. I want God to just do it all for me instead of having to work hard and serve others with my life. This is what my flesh desires, but when I was baptized, I made a commitment to serve not my flesh, but my LORD.

I’m challenging you today to choose to find a way to make a difference in someone’s life. If that is by being a good example to your fellow believers, then go for it. If it is serving as a missionary in Africa, then go for it. But whatever it is that God calls you to be, do it for Him alone. Don’t do it so that someday you will have a YWAM Heroes book about you. Don’t do it to make yourself feel righteous. DO IT FOR GOD.

The world may be a place where no one goes deep enough to learn about God and serve Him wholeheartedly, but that doesn’t mean you and I don’t have to.

Whose Expectations?

I apologize to my four readers for not posting in two weeks… I have been very busy with the holidays, and not in a writing mood! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are enjoying 2009!

Have you ever felt like you are being bombarded with a subject or something in particular? In the past two weeks or so, I have kept seeing the word “expectations” everywhere. I don’t usually stop and think about it, but it hit me rather hard.

If you know me very well, you know that I have a hard time making friends and reaching out to people because I am shy. Not painfully shy, but reserved enough that I don’t talk in public unless I am spoken to first. This has been a real problem for me since I was little, and especially now since I am in high school.

About two and a half years ago, my family decided to find a new church. We found Dayspring, and placed membership after about six months of visiting. If you have ever changed churches, you know that it is very difficult to fit in at first. Although it does not compare to moving to a different state, it is still hard. For me, it was weird to come in and suddenly be an outsider. I had gone to our previous church for nine years, and there was only one other girl in my grade level, so it was not a struggle to be accepted. When my family joined Dayspring, I was going into seventh grade, so I was placed in the middle school class. Almost every kid in the class went to the same school, was in the same class, and had grown up together. I did not know what they were talking about half the time, and felt like I was standing at the zoo looking in at the animals, but not able to connect with them in any way.

Right now, I am in the high school youth group and am the only homeschooled kid. It is incredibly hard to try and fit in, and pretend like I am just like them. For two years I have tried to make them like me (which is very difficult when you don’t talk out loud very often), and have hoped that one day they will see that I am no different than they are. I am not saying that the kids in the youth group are mean or pushy (they are actually very nice), but they can tell that I am vastly different from them.

Two weeks ago, it hit me.

I don’t have to be like them! I don’t have to pretend that I know what public high school is like. To live that way would be a lie! It’s okay to be different.

I am a people pleaser, and it is not always a good thing. I strive for acceptance and want to make everyone happy. I don’t like being an outcast, and I have cried many nights because I am so different from the other teens my age.

I’m slowly starting to realize that it is okay to be different. God made everyone unique in their own way, and we should not be ashamed of how we are. If we don’t like who God made us to be, we are insulting His creation.

The expectations of this world are drastically different from what God wants. The world is like a candy mold; we have to fit in just right, or we will stick out conspicuously. God wants us to follow his ways and not compare ourselves to anyone except Jesus Christ. It is His example we are to follow, and no one else’s.

Please don’t get me wrong. I would not trade homeschooling for anything in the world. I don’t mind being different, and not all homeschoolers are outcasts. I have chosen to be different, and it is okay. I am just one case in a million, so don’t base your view of homeschooling solely on my account.

I think one of the biggest expectations that the world has is friendship. The world expects us to be friends with our peers. I do not have very many friends that are my own age. (Yes, a shocker, I know.) My very best friend is my mom, and she is twenty years older than me. The world does not expect any teen girl to have a good relationship with her mom. The world doesn’t frown upon it, but it is not expected or normal.

On Tuesday, I went to Starbuck’s with my dear friend Candice McLaren. She is a young mom with five children. Obviously, I am only fourteen, don’t have children, and can’t even drive! And yet, Mrs. McLaren has reached out to me, and has befriended me. She has shown me so much about God, and has acted not only as a friend, but as a mentor as well. I am dearly grateful for her friendship. The world may think it is weird for me to be such good friends with someone in a different stage of life, but I think it is cool.

The teens of this world get into so much trouble nowadays. I can only wonder if it is because they only look to their peers for advice. I think having a friend that is a lot older than you will help you gain wisdom and knowledge.

Not only am I friends with people over twenty, I love children, too! A little girl at my church, Sarah, is one of my dear friends, and she is only six years old. In fact, on New Year’s Eve, I played hide and seek with her for nearly an hour. I did not do it just because she asked me, I did it because I wanted to.

Well, now that you’ve read this blog, you probably think that I am totally nuts. I just want to say that this year, I am not going to try to fit into the image of the world, I am going to be who God made me to be, and reach out through who I really am. I am so grateful that God has shown me my mistake, and I am going to strive to compare myself only to God.